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THE WATCHERS Starring: Dakota Fanning, Georgina Campbell, Olwen Fouéré, Oliver Finnegan, Alistair Brammer, and John Lynch Director: Ishana Night Shyamalan KATIE Ishana Night Shyamalan crafts an incredibly creepy atmosphere in her feature debut, The Watchers . The intriguing premise and gothic style drew me in each step of the way, complemented by chilling sound design and a great lead performance from Dakota Fanning. The script is sometimes uneven, utilising some very heavy-handed metaphors and clunky dialogue, but my enjoyment outweighs the problems I have with it, all of which are common for a first film. Overall, The Watchers is a very promising start for Ishana Night Shyamalan. PRESTON Ishana Night Shyamalan follows in her father’s (M. Night Shyamalan) footsteps with a successful first outing as a film director with The Watchers . The sound design is the star of this fantasy-thriller, bolstered by excellent supporting visual effects and cinematography. The plotline is handicapped by a few inflection points that confuse and frustrate, while the repetitive, conspicuous messaging is a bit too tenacious. However, the story borrowed from A.M. Shine’s novel is quite inventive and keeps you engaged. We even get the expected Shyamalan plot twist to boot. I think we can expect great things from Ishana Night Shyamalan in the future.

THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE BARN Starring: Martin Starr, Amrita Acharia, Townes Bunner, Jeppe Beck Lauresen, Paul Monaghan, Kiran Shah, Zoe Winther-Hansen, and Calle Hellevang Larsen Director: Magnus Martens This film has been reviewed by Quentin and Nick as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of Fantastic Fest 2023. QUENTIN I have no doubt that there is an audience for There’s Something in the Barn , and had it come out in 1987, I probably would have been a part of it. However, as an adult, it’s just a little too campy and goofy for me. Imagine forcing someone to watch Gremlins 2 for the first time as an adult. Without the nostalgia, they almost certainly will think it’s too silly, and Barn is a mix between Gremlins 2 and Krampus . It almost needs that nostalgia to fully work, which means that 10-year-olds who discover this will surely be showing it to their kids in 20-30 years. NICK There’s Something in the Barn has all the makings of a future cult classic, but it didn’t quite work for me. It’s a campy film, so some of the acting and writing are expected to be over-the-top, but even considering that, there are some rough showings. Once we get into the elf mayhem, however, there is some fun to be had. Sadly, even these scenes leave a lot to be desired as they’re just not as wild and crazy as they could be. As far as Christmas horror goes, it’s certainly no Gremlins , and not quite Krampus , but likely falls somewhere just shy of that.

THE PALE BLUE EYE Starring: Christian Bale, Harry Melling, Gillian Anderson, Lucy Boynton, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Toby Jones, Harry Lawtey, Simon McBurney, Timothy Spall, and Robert Duvall Director: Scott Cooper AMARÚ So you know, 1999’s Sleepy Hollow is one of my favorite movies, and The Pale Blue Eye is very reminiscent of that Johnny Depp thriller since both feature a stacked cast, dulcet tones, and devilish mystery. However, where Sleepy Hollow is compelling, this is stale. As entertained as I was in ‘99, Eye is a tedious struggle. Outside of Poe’s (Harry Melling) inspiring game of wits with Landor (Christian Bale), each piece of dialogue feels like a boring, pompous, 10-minute monologue to no one in particular. Thank god for Bale’s and Melling’s aptitude though, or I would remember nothing from this film. QUENTIN Though it boasts committed performances and a suitably gothic atmosphere, The Pale Blue Eye isn’t entirely sure what it wants to be. It starts and ends as a murder mystery akin to From Hell , but the middle sections boringly meander about the developing partnership between Detective Landor and Edgar Allan Poe (Christian Bale and Harry Melling, respectively). Then, there is a completely tacked on second ending. Since the story focuses more on the two investigators than the murder, the mystery has very little momentum to hold your interest, which, when combined with the low-lighting and foggy cinematography, make for a very sleepy watch. JACOB As excellent as Christian Bale is and as much as Harry Melling thoroughly embodies Edgar Allen Poe, The Pale Blue Eye is slightly lesser poetry from director Scott Cooper. The mystery itself ultimately works, but it’s too thin for any true thematic weight to lift once the admittedly unexpected twist is revealed and recontextualizes what came before. Couple that with a narrative that meanders more than it moves, and there’s not much to write home about apart from some solid costume design and the engaging interplay between Bale and Melling. For January, it’s not bad…but it could have been better. PAIGE The Pale Blue Eye will definitely differ from viewer to viewer, and while I like an atmospheric whodunnit, gothic horror films aren’t really my vibe, especially slow burn ones like this that take their sweet time. Don’t get me wrong, it has great performances and it’s a well made film, but it’s not what I hoped for when it comes to an Edgar Allen Poe story. I’m going to be honest with you, it’s a bore. The runtime dragged me through the snow a bit, but for others, it may be an intriguing mystery worth investigating. JOSEPH If I could summarize The Pale Blue Eye in one word, it would be “dull.” It is a nonsensical detective story that never feels mysterious or intriguing. Christian Bale does his best, and despite a good performance, he alone can not save the film. Harry Melling doesn’t shine as Edgar Allan Poe, but he tries, and the historically inaccurate Foghorn Leghorn impression does him no favors. It’s the final twists that really killed the film for me, though. Still, I must admit the costumes and cinematography are gorgeous, so at least it’s not a total loss, just a disappointment.

HAVOC Starring: Tom Hardy, Jessie Mei Li, Justin Cornwell, Quelin Sepulveda, Forest Whitaker, Yeo Yann Yann, Timothy Olyphant, Sunny Pang, Jim Caesar, and Luis Guzmán Director: Gareth Evans NICK Violent. Visceral. Brutal. Bloodbath. These are just a few of the words that come to mind for Gareth Evans' Havoc . The Raid director shows once again that he can make an action film as good as anyone, only this time he does so in English. Tom Hardy is back in the ass-kicking lead role that he thrives in, particularly in two dynamic set pieces bound to be among the best of the year. It’s a shame this one is skipping a theatrical release because it’s pure turn-your-brain-off-and-lock-in mayhem that would’ve surely been a crowd-pleaser. AMARÚ Gareth Evans can direct the hell out of some action scenes, but his gritty and realistic Raid series has been ingrained in my brain for so long that I was thrown off by Havoc ’s opening CGI-looking sequence. Once I saw how Tom Hardy's and Forest Whitaker’s over-the-top performances matched Evans’ high-octane action, however, I recalibrated my thinking. I sat and watched a very fun crime film with a lot of enjoyable actors playing in a bloody sandbox. It was hard to accept how such a merciless film allowed certain characters to survive miracles, but I said “fuck it” and went along for the ride. KATIE Havoc lives up to its name in the worst possible way because it’s guilty of everything that bothers me about modern action films. Most of the action is indecipherable thanks to the ridiculously shaky camera, constant quick cuts, and far too much reliance on CGI. None of the characters the film follows should have survived. At times, they’re literally showered in bullets, but emerge unscathed; then suddenly appear in random settings with no indication of how they got there, which removes any sense of tension or stakes. Havoc is just a few decent action scenes that are thoughtlessly stitched together. QUENTIN When a movie is sold as the first action thriller in a decade from the director of The Raid – starring Tom Hardy, Timothy Olyphant, and Puerto Rican treasure Luis Guzmán – an expectation is set. Sadly, despite visceral action and a chaos befitting the title, Havoc is more exhausting than fun. It’s the loudest and worst parts of the John Wick movies, but minus the creativity (one harpoon aside) and, dare I say, the subtlety. It’s a lot of machine-gun noise and stereotypical archetypes, which I loved in the 90s, but have apparently outgrown. There are badass moments, no doubt. But they don’t make a great movie. ROBERT If you ever wondered what it would be like if Eddie Brock knew gun-fu, then Havoc is the movie for you. Seriously, when Tom Hardy has an American accent, it feels as if quality starts at a lower threshold. There were vestiges of Smokin’ Aces and S.W.A.T. in this film but I didn’t have as much fun with it. It seemed like every person needed at least six bullets before they could be dispatched, and globular blood flew up toward the camera every five minutes. Also, the visual effects were jarring with each action set piece. I expected a better time. BODE The last Max Payne video game was released over a decade ago, but the scuzzy spirit of that series lives on in the form of Gareth Evans’ latest actioner, Havoc – from its wintery setting to its haunted detective antihero (who Tom Hardy embodies, East Coast accent and all). As expected from The Raid director, the action sequences are incredibly exhilarating, with each one bloodier than the last. I just wish the human drama didn’t needlessly convolute itself in its set up, ultimately seeming like an afterthought. Still, because Evans hasn’t lost his violent touch, I really can’t write this off.

THE FIRST OMEN Starring: Nell Tiger Free, Tawfeek Barhom, Sônia Braga, Ralph Ineson, and Bill Nighy Director: Arkasha Stevenson ADRIANO For a film with so much seemingly going on, I found The First Omen remarkably dull. The film is good at building tension from scene to scene, but I wish it had relied less on atmosphere and creepy imagery and more on jump scares and grisly gore to get the audience to react. Nell Tiger Free is a fantastic lead, though; however, in the end, I found the film to be a wholly forgettable experience, with one absurdly laughable final scene attempting to get an applause break by connecting it to the original film. NICK You may enjoy The First Omen as long as you don’t think about it too hard. If so, you’re bound to scratch your head due to its habit of leaving unanswered questions. This extended build-up to the story of Damien (which the film treats as if it’s a big reveal in spite of the film being called The First Omen ) does an adequate job setting up the character’s future. However, the majority of the film can be a bit of an arduous journey to reach its ultimate destination. Points for setting the table, but Damien needs to pick up the pace if he’s getting a follow-up. PRESTON The First Omen is a refreshingly creepy prequel that revives a classic storyline. Its biggest success lies in its alignment with the original series several decades later and the sufficiently eerie storyline that doesn't overly rely on jump scares and similarly cheap shenanigans to induce fear, even if the scariness factor isn’t off the charts. The main issue is an overlong runtime that struggles to keep its audience engaged, but the actual scene-by-scene editing is quite exceptional. Good acting and great cinematography round out a very respectable outing for this struggling genre.

ELIO Starring: Yonas Kibreab, Zoe Saldaña, Remy Edgerly, Brandon Moon, Brad Garrett, Jameela Jamil, and Brendan Hunt Director: Madeline Sharafian, Domee Shi, and Adrian Molina NICK While Pixar's recent offerings have felt geared more towards us (the generation who grew up on Toy Story ), Elio feels like a departure from that. Whether it's the villain who feels intentionally less frightening, the younger, child-like qualities of Elio (Yonas Kibreab), or the overall inoffensiveness of the film, this feels best geared for four to eight-year-olds. You still get beautiful, dynamic visuals and the underlying message of belonging that you’d expect, but this is a film made specifically for the little ones, and though that’s not always Pixar’s norm, there’s nothing wrong with that. ADRIANO With a movie like Elio , I'd typically just forget it and move on since it gave me no real reason to think about it after the credits. There was nothing I hated, but also nothing I loved. But leaving the theatre, all I could think about was how this completely lacked creativity or sincerity, the two winning ingredients for Pixar's best. Maybe I'd care less if it wasn't Pixar, but besides really great animation, and despite the movie insisting it offers a lot, I can safely say Elio will fade from memory by next week. AMARÚ Pixar would have me watch a movie with big “FTK” energy on my second official day of summer break. But even through the frustrations my teacher brain couldn’t escape, I found Elio to be wondrous, imaginative, and lovely. Its tremendous visuals magnificently bolster the creative extraterrestrial world, and while this does skew more kid-friendly, the themes of loneliness, communication, belonging, and resilience ring true for adults and children alike. Maybe even more for adults who have to be resilient for both themselves and their less-equipped children. That last bit was not something I was prepared to tear up over on DAY TWO OF BREAK! BODE My relationship with Pixar isn’t what it once was, but I went into their latest film, Elio , supportive in that it’d be another original winner in their filmography. The results are…fine. It’s quite heartfelt in its exploration of loneliness and belonging, and some of the world building (achieved through stunning animation) can be pretty fun. I just wish it weren’t so busy and formulaic, but I suppose that’s what happens when you have three authorial visions duelling with each other over how this story should be told. Still, it’s cute enough that I can’t really come down hard on it. ROBERT While watching Elio , I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a movie shown years later than the heyday for this kind of story, and then I thought about science fiction in the 1980’s; my mind went to Flight of the Navigator . So, we have the standard mid-tier Pixar template: unpopular protagonist with parental issues, looking for identity and belonging outside of their current situation, and it is paired with classic, Disney sci-fi storytelling. As such, it doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but it makes you think about trauma and life-resetting expectations in a cute, succinct package. Crying may happen, but not uncontrollably like with Coco or Toy Story 3 .

TITANE Starring: Agathe Rousselle, Vincent Lindon, Garance Marillier, Laïs Salameh, Mara Cissé, Marin Judas, and Diong-Kéba Tacu Director: Julia Ducournau JACOB Titane may be too unwieldy to overtake any Oscar races, but anyone who watches the Cannes' Palme d'Or winner will be consumed by the sheer force of it. Julia Ducournau's film is brimming with boldness, an absolute hurricane of chaotic energy so powerful that one may not feel its full impact until days later. There is no way to predict where it will go, and its journeys may be impossible to fully understand after a single sitting. Agathe Rousselle is unbelievable leading this story through its many facets, but it's Ducournau who emerges the true talent here. ADRIANO Titane is, without a doubt, one of the weirdest films I have ever experienced. Even as someone who gets very squeamish at body horror, I found this movie to be amazing. As a director, Julia Ducournau has an incredible visual eye. As a writer, she seamlessly blends the batshit insanity with moments of tenderness. Agathe Rousselle's performance is striking too, which helps drive home the film's themes wonderfully. There were a couple scenes, mainly towards the beginning, that I felt were gratuitously graphic, but this is definitely worth a watch. QUENTIN I’ll give Titane credit for one thing: it’s fucking insane. I’m not sure that means it’s good, though. Admittedly, it hasn’t left my mind since I saw it, but I could say the same for fellow body horror movie The Human Centipede , which is definitely not good. While Titane is better than that, it still goes to bonkers places either for pure shock value or as a metaphor that I don’t get. So, if you want something weird that will have you thinking “did she just…? Nooo. Oh! Yep, she sure did” more than once, then you’re in luck!

LOUSY CARTER Starring: David Krumholtz, Martin Starr, Olivia Thirlby, Luxy Banner, Jocelyn DeBoer, and Stephen Root Director: Bob Byington AMARÚ If there was a cinematic representation of the term “smart ass,” Lousy Carter would be it. It’s an irreverently dry comedy that is the perfect vehicle for David Krumholtz’s vindictively hilarious brand of humor. Director Bob Byington utilizes disjointed editing and a cheeky score to emphasize sardonic performances that fit together into a charming ensemble of delightful assholes. Like many assholes you know and love (or at least tolerate), Carter can, at times, be too smart for its own good, meandering in its sarcastic wit, but it’s shockingly flippant bluntness definitely delivers an unequivocally unique experience you can’t help but enjoy. NICK Lousy Carter is another entry into the sub-genre I like to call “British-styled humour in American film.” It's dry… like, sandpaper dry. It’s awkward, occasionally veering towards the point of cringe. Most importantly, though, it's funny. Sure, it doesn't set the world on fire, but it's a perfectly cromulent indie comedy enhanced by an oddly engaging David Krumholtz as the grumpy curmudgeon left to face his own mortality. Although a strong argument could be made that this would have been better served as a short film, it's still a brisk watch that provides solid entertainment.

BEING THE RICARDOS Starring: Nicole Kidman, Javier Bardem, J.K. Simmons, Nina Arianda, Tony Hale, Alia Shawkat, Jake Lacy, and Clark Gregg Director: Aaron Sorkin JACOB Though significantly weaker in its writing than many of writer/director Aaron Sorkin’s other scripts and bland in the directorial sense, Being the Ricardos still managed to charm me. There’s not much beneath the surface of the story, set just before Lucille Ball’s “red scare” moment, but I was nonetheless taken by the quick-fire, “inside baseball” dialogue and the consistently engaging performances. None of the actors fully embody their characters, but they all give terrific turns, especially Nicole Kidman. The filmmaking itself seems more in tune with a miniseries format than a movie, but I can live with that. ADRIANO Being The Ricardos is one of writer/director Aaron Sorkin’s weaker offerings, but it’s still an entertaining and interesting one. While his direction shows more style than his previous works, the pacing is very slow. On top of that, the structure of the film is extremely jarring. I’m usually a fan of the way Sorkin structures his stories, but this time it’s a bit confusing. Thankfully, Sorkin’s signature snappy dialogue is as fun as always; the performances by Nicole Kidman, Javier Bardem and Nina Arianda are amazing; and the film has enough of an emotional punch that it’s worth watching. QUENTIN In Being the Ricardos , writer-director Aaron Sorkin gives I Love Lucy the Sports Night (and The Newsroom ) treatment by providing a humanizing, behind-the-scenes look at the classic Hollywood production, with the fact of it being based on a true story adding a bit more oomph to the proceedings. The material also is elevated by a terrific cast that skillfully delivers Sorkin’s rapid-fire dialogue effortlessly. I suspect that the film will be more resonant with those who watched the classic series (which I didn’t) and it lacks some tension since the events are predetermined, but I found myself fascinated, nonetheless.

STILL: A MICHAEL J. FOX MOVIE Starring: Michael J. Fox Director: Davis Guggenheim NICK Michael J. Fox has long been my favourite actor, so Still was among my most anticipated films of the year. Thankfully, it does not disappoint, and the credit goes to director Davis Guggenheim and the editors as much as Fox himself. The way they’ve cut the film is impressive, as they use archival footage to compliment Fox's narration of events. As for Fox, he gives a raw look into his life with Parkinson’s in a way I hadn’t seen before. It’s emotional to witness, yet he still displays his patented optimism. So, let me provide some optimism of my own: this film is sensational, just like Mike. QUENTIN As with most documentaries, one’s enjoyment of Still likely will depend on the viewer’s already-present level of interest in the central subject - in this case, Michael J. Fox. For me, a mid-level Fox fan, I didn’t really learn anything new since most of this stuff has been covered before, so my interest started waning around the halfway point. I mean, it’s endearingly raw, but it’s not educational, which is the main thing I want from a documentary. On the plus side, director Davis Guggenheim’s approach of stitching together clips from Fox’s films to function as the dramatic re-enactments of Fox’s life is absolutely brilliant.

A MINECRAFT MOVIE Starring: Jason Momoa, Jack Black, Danielle Brooks, Sebastian Hansen, Emma Myers, Jennifer Coolidge, and Rachel House Director: Jared Hess AMARÚ Jason Momoa excels as a hilariously insane tool while Jack Black’s rock awesomeness creates some bops, but I prefer those schticks in Fast X and the new Jumanji movies, respectively, much more than I do in A Minecraft Movie . This is where my “objective movie critic” lens reaches its limit because this movie is trash, fulfilling the real-life prophecy of full-blown, studio-fueled, IP-driven cash grabs that satires like The Studio make fun of. It doesn’t matter, though; it’s going to make a shit-ton of money, and there will be a bunch of sequels. At least I no longer feel obligated to watch them. ADRIANO I mean... It's A Minecraft Movie . I know fans of the film and games will combat my criticisms with "It's just entertainment" or "It's for kids." And if you feel that way, fine. But you can't possibly tell me, even unironically, that this movie is good. Jason Momoa and some of the aesthetics give this movie a leg up, but between Jack Black's directionless performance, the cringe humour, the horrific green screen, the weak character writing, and the abhorrent script full of clichés and inconsistencies, it's obvious nobody behind this cared about what they presented since it was making money anyway.

THE CONJURING: LAST RITES Starring: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Mia Tomlinson, Ben Hardy, Beau Gadsdon, Kila Lord Cassidy, Elliot Cowan, Rebecca Calder, and Steve Coulter Director: Michael Chaves KATIE Last Rites is the finale to one of my favourite horror franchises, even after the disappointing The Devil Made Me Do It. Thankfully, this is a huge improvement on that entry, and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I’m very invested in Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine Warren (Vera Farmiga), so I liked the time it spent on the family’s story and emotional side of their relationship. I expected more intensity, and it's more horror-drama than outright horror, but it does build tension and deliver a couple of good jump scares. ROBERT When a horror franchise promises an end, especially a franchise as successful as The Conjuring , you expect massive box office numbers, which Last Rites delivered for Warner Bros. However, this finale doesn't feel definitive, no matter what the opening scroll or epilogue suggests. I was promised some kind of shockwave for Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga, respectively) to get them to quit ghost hunting, but I was given another standard paranormal case, simply with more involvement from their family. It drags considerably too, trying to really drive home that the Warrens weren’t doing investigations anymore despite what we all knew. Bloated and uninteresting was not the exclamation point we deserved.