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CHAMPIONS Starring: Woody Harrelson, Kaitlin Olson, Kevin Iannucci, Ashton Gunning, Bradley Edens, Alex Hintz, James Day Keith, Casey Metcalfe, Matthew Von Der Ahe, Madison Tevlin, Joshua Felder, Ernie Hudson, Matt Cook, and Cheech Marin Director: Bobby Farrelly NICK Champions is one of those movies I could write a complete synopsis on after its opening 15 minutes. It telegraphs every move as it attempts to balance between a cookie-cutter basketball movie and a cookie-cutter underdog story while succeeding at neither. It also greatly underuses its intellectually disabled characters (Madison Tevlin as Cosentino, especially) in favour of focusing on Woody Harrelson's Coach Marcus. Even his character, who gets the most screen time, has limited room for growth, which in turn, makes for a stale character arc. I admittedly wasn’t expecting much from Champions , yet it still managed to let me down. ADRIANO Champions sees director Bobby Farrelly trying to replicate his brother's recent success, but he ultimately fails. I wasn’t expecting much, and in some ways, it lived up to what I expected. It’s vaguely offensive by using its cast of disabled characters as punchlines, it has a plot I predicted from the trailer, and it’s simply not funny. But I’m a sucker for a good feel-good story, and I was at least hoping I could get that, but nope. This movie is not only way too long for what it’s trying to be, it’s just a big misstep across the board. JACOB While there are moments in Champions that made me chuckle, I’m not sure the film entirely succeeds at what it sets out to do…assuming it has any goals at all apart from exploiting its supporting ensemble for “awws” while rarely developing their characters. The whole movie plays every scene so safely that sitting through it is more boring than inspiring, and with a runtime that’s about 20-30 minutes too long, a lot of those scenes meander. These problems are compounded by a weak script with little in the way of character development and filled with jokes that almost never land.

BEVERLY HILLS COP: AXEL F Starring: Eddie Murphy, Taylour Paige, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Kevin Bacon, Judge Reinhold, John Ashton, Paul Reiser and Bronson Pinchot Director: Mark Molloy AMARÚ Axel F is exactly what you want from a legacy sequel. It pays homage to the originals, mirroring a lot of scenes without feeling too reductive (although, it is juuuust a bit), yet it’s modernized without trying too hard. The action is grounded, Eddie Murphy is natural, and his chemistry hits with franchise vets and new cast members alike. He and Taylour Paige bring dramatic heft to balance the silliness, while Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays the perfect amount of cool off of Murphy’s comedic gravity. The nostalgia is heavy in this one, but when building on the classics, nostalgia helps solidify what’s new. PRESTON An unapologetic nod to the original Beverly Hills Cop , Netflix’s sequel Axel F is packed with nostalgia. The tone is similar to the first, and the cinematography is decent, but the script is extremely flat. The comedic elements attempted are of the half-smirk variety, and none of the characters seem to genuinely connect. The first few action scenes are a little difficult to stomach, but its predictable flow and outcome are entertaining enough. Otherwise, the best part of the film is the score from Lorne Balfe, who repurposes Harold Faltermeyer’s original “Axel F Theme Song” into varyingly paced, synthesizer magic. QUENTIN In my review of Bad Boys: Ride or Die , I said, “there are a few nostalgic callbacks…but ehhh. Amusing, but never funny; actiony, but never exciting.” That pretty much applies to Axel F too. That said, perhaps you’ll get more mileage from Eddie Murphy than Martin Lawrence and Will Smith, or (like me) you’ll find the soundtrack is full of bops, including the timeless “Axel F” theme, that call back to my youth. Either way, for better or worse, this is about what I expected from another unnecessary, lazy, straight-to-streaming legacy sequel to a stone-cold Murphy classic (remember Coming 2 America ? I almost didn’t). ADRIANO Axel F is fine, I guess. The crime plot is uninteresting, I felt nothing with the father-daughter subplot (Taylour Paige is actively bad in this), the nostalgia baiting is pathetic, and the action and most of the humour fall flat. I gotta say, though…Eddie Murphy has still got it! His delivery got consistent laughs out of me, lifting even the most subpar jokes in the movie to a legitimate belly laugh, which is all I really ask for with an Eddie Murphy movie. So, while this movie is certainly not very good, I had fun with it.

DISENCHANTED Starring: Amy Adams, Patrick Dempsey, Gabriella Baldacchino, Maya Rudolph, Idina Menzel, James Marsden, Yvette Nicole Brown, Jayma Mays, Griffin Newman, and Alan Tudyk Director: Adam Shankman AMARÚ Disenchanted works best when it’s deconstructing fairy tale tropes. Amy Adams (Giselle) vs. Maya Rudolph (Malvina) as dueling evil queens, Gabriella Baldacchino (Morgan) sarcastically calling out her magical stepmother, and James Marsden (King Edward) going full Prince in real life was all a charming return to form. But the fine line between satire and Disney fantasy was too often blurred, forgoing smart parody for boring princess-story clichés, which sporadically disengaged me from the film. Less time in the musical fairy tale and more time in reality would have done this sequel some good. JACOB Unfortunately, Disenchanted continues one of the all-time bad movie streaks for one of our greatest actresses, as Amy Adams is forced to carry any and all of the fun of this film on her shoulders while everything else crumbles around her. Every idea seems to stem from the idea that the sequel had to happen rather than it being something people actually wanted to make. Each character not named Giselle (Adams) is at best two-dimensional, none of the songs are remotely as good as the predecessor’s, and every set feels like a soundstage. It’s not unseemly bad, but it’s bad.

THE SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE Starring: Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Seth Rogen, Fred Armisen, Kevin Michael Richardson, Khary Payton, and Charles Martinet Directors: Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic JACOB The Super Mario Bros. Movie is full of colorful animation, tons of easter eggs and references, and a healthy helping of nostalgic cues, both musical and visual. That said, it’s still a Mario movie made by Illumination, and how you feel about the former heavily depends on your patience for the latter. The film is okay (even decent for kids), but lacks the heart that would have made it soar. There are some neat sequences, but they’re overshadowed by a lazy, bare-bones narrative with little character development and next-to-no emotionally investing moments. It’s not a disaster, but certainly not a success either. ADRIANO We finally have a faithful movie adaptation of the most popular video game ever…and it’s fine. If you’re like me, a lifelong Mario lover, you’ll have some fun with The Super Mario Bros. Movie . I was constantly pointing at the screen with delight at every easter egg. The voice cast is serviceable (at worst), the animation is perfect, and the score is way better than it needed to be. That said, that all comes at the expense of a well-written story and effective emotional stakes. It has only been a few days, but I’m sad to say this movie has already started to fade. AMARÚ Like other successful video game adaptations, the creators of The Super Mario Bros. Movie understood the source material’s strengths: years upon years of “ooh, I hope they include that in there” from which to pull. And pull they did. However, instead of banking on “because we can” nostalgic energy, the film entertainingly interweaves its numerous references into heartwarming familial themes, surprisingly dark humor, and an invested voice cast (Bowser’s voice is forevermore Jack Black). There’s nothing particularly great about the film, other than what makes the game special, but that’s more than enough for a fun time.

THE SMASHING MACHINE Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt, Ryan Bader, Bas Rutten, and Oleksandr Usyk Director: Benny Safdie ADRIANO With all the chatter of Dwayne Johnson's big Oscar transformation, I was shocked to see just how un-awards-bait The Smashing Machine was. Director Benny Safdie shoots this film in a documentary kind of way, not so much watching a typical triumph sports film, but a stripped-down look at what makes Mark Kerr (Johnson) tick. Johnson himself, while physically unrecognizable, gives off more of a gentle giant performance, a soft nuance I wasn't aware he was capable of. All that to say, despite it coming off as rather stake-less, I fell for the calm approach here. NICK Despite a couple of teases, I’ve been waiting to see what Dwayne Johnson can do in a serious film. Well, The Smashing Machine is his chance, and he shows how much potential is there. Going into the film, I questioned why Mark Kerr (played here by Johnson) deserved a biopic, and after leaving the film… I still question why Mark Kerr deserved a biopic. As a vehicle for Johnson to finally spread his wings, it’s a great first step. As a sports biopic, it’s fine, but an echo of countless other stories within the MMA world. Now let’s see if Johnson can keep this up. PAIGE The Smashing Machine is propelled by its stylish documentary-style filmmaking and a surprisingly vulnerable performance from Dwayne Johnson, who arguably delivers his best performance to date. He does a great job of capturing both the tough side of Mark Kerr in the ring and his more sensitive, softer side. That said, the film stands out more for its craft than its actual story; a story I found a bit too broad. With sluggish pacing, the film doesn’t know what plotline to focus on or fully expand upon, whether it’s Kerr’s turbulent relationship with his girlfriend, his career in the ring, or his struggle with addiction. As a result, Mark Kerr's story loses some of its emotional impact. AMARÚ While Dwayne Johnson delivers a tender portrayal of UFC pioneer Mark Kerr, The Smashing Machine lacks the momentum to take advantage of his performance. The film primarily takes place in Japan, and much like Kerr’s interactions with the locals, the conversation between the screenplay and the audience gets lost in translation. Every time the script picks up steam, it stumbles into the next scene without any true emotional understanding of what just happened. The fights were brutal, and the score tonally fit, but those disparate elements couldn’t come together for what amounted to a Cliff Notes version of three years of Kerr’s life. QUENTIN While the story stays a little too wavetop, never fully exploring the toxic relationship between Mark (Dwayne Johnson) and Dawn (Emily Blunt), Mark’s drug use and recovery, or the initial rise and controversy surrounding UFC, The Smashing Machine is a showcase for Johnson’s mostly unseen dramatic acting ability. He is magnetic, carrying the film on his unbelievably hulking frame. That’s not to discount Blunt’s performance or Benny Safdie’s direction — both are noteworthy — but I simply couldn’t look away from Johnson even as some emotional beats felt unearned. If this signals a definitive career pivot for the superstar, I can’t wait to see what’s next. This film was reviewed by Nick, Adriano, and Quentin as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2025 Toronto International Film Festival and the 2025 Zurich Film Festival, respectively.

HIPPO Starring: Kimball Farley, Lilla Kizlinger, Eliza Roberts, Jesse Pimentel, and Eric Roberts Director: Mark H. Rapaport This film has been reviewed by Nick and Quentin as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2023 Fantasia International Film Festival. NICK Hippo is a great example of why sex education still needs to be taught in schools. This absurd film about the naivety of sex - and, really, adult life - for adolescents Hippo (Kimball Farley) and Buttercup (Lilla Kizlinger) is... something. Although the pace moves well enough thanks to narration provided by Eric Roberts, the characters are quite unlikable, and the narcissistic and disillusioned Hippo is the worst offender. I will say, the notion of step-sibling infatuation is handled respectfully by director Mark H. Rapaport, and without getting into spoilers, it’s that story thread that is the most interesting. I just wish things came to a different conclusion. QUENTIN Hippo is a weird one, and while I’m not entirely sure I liked it, there are certainly parts I didn’t hate. A scene here would make me laugh, a one-liner there was immediately entered into my memory bank… but, given the subject matter, it’s so odd and potentially off-putting that recommending it is a tricky endeavor. Plus, Hippo (Kimball Farley) is extremely unlikable as a character, playing the role like Napoleon Dynamite with Kenny Powers attitude, which makes sense once you realize Danny McBride and Jody Hill, who created Eastbound and Down , are executive producers on the film. Overall, Hippo is unsettling and extreme acquired taste.

THE LIFE OF CHUCK Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Karen Gillan, Mark Hamill, Mia Sara, Benjamin Pajak, Carl Lumbly, Matthew Lillard, Annalise Basso, Samantha Sloyan, Jacob Tremblay, and Nick Offerman Director: Mike Flanagan NICK When you hear the names Mike Flanagan and Stephen King, you’re likely expecting a horror film, but you’d be mistaken with The Life of Chuck . Among Flanagan’s best works, I’m not sure I’ve seen a film look at death and mortality through as beautiful a lens as this film does. I could break down the technical specs (no complaints) and the performances (once again, no complaints), but it’s really about the purity of the film. There are multiple dance numbers, dark comedy, and apocalyptic dread, but Flanagan never loses sight of the hopeful message he wants to send. I wish all films were this sincere. ADRIANO The Life of Chuck will make you want to dance and fall in love with life. Writer/director Mike Flanagan ditches his horror comfort zone in favour of a movie that boasts a great ensemble, a fascinating structure that allows one to piece the film together as it goes, and not an ounce of cynicism in sight. Just a movie about allowing your love to guide the things you do, and enjoying the rewards that come with it. If I had to criticize, the movie looks a bit too polished, but I nonetheless loved The Life of Chuck . BODE Mike Flanagan has built a reputation as a humanist of horror, prioritizing empathy and emotionality over cheap thrills, which only make the scarier moments hit harder. It’s what makes him the perfect filmmaker to tackle Stephen King; and while I wouldn’t say his latest adaptation, The Life of Chuck , is his best (it’s a little less than the sum of its parts), I still enjoyed seeing his trademarks (non-chronological editing, monologues, etc) applied to one of King’s non-horror works, where even the most sentimental moments of this meditation of memory and mortality feel haunted in a sense. Solid! AMARÚ The Life Of Chuck is the most interesting movie about nothing in particular that I’ve seen in some time. That’s because making it about nothing specifically made it about absolutely everything. Director Mike Flanagan utilizes his amazing horror sensibilities to highlight the tragic beauty of life, which sets up the movie’s unique storytelling style and singular universe in ways that prove that even the smallest of details contain multitudes of meaning. Tom Hiddleston and company are brilliant in this extraordinary look at one solitary life, and demonstrate how exquisite it is to live yours to the fullest. This film was reviewed by Nick and Adriano as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2024 Toronto International Film Festival.

FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE SECRETS OF DUMBLEDORE Starring: Jude Law, Eddie Redmayne, Mads Mikkelsen, Ezra Miller, Dan Fogler, Callum Turner, Alison Sudol, Jessica Williams, William Nadylam, and Victoria Yeates Director: David Yates AMARÚ It takes two-thirds of Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore to completely wipe away the bad taste left by its predecessor. The early acts don’t quite nail the Harry Potter magic, but they do satisfyingly answer unresolved questions and lean on a strong ensemble. Dan Fogler and Jude Law continue to shine, but it’s the wonderful additions of Mads Mikkelson and Jessica Williams that carry the film through to a turning point in the third act that seemingly clicks the magic back into place. When the film started, I was worried about this franchise; Now, I’m genuinely excited to see where it goes next. JACOB Though better than the previous film in a series I now dread, the third entry in the Fantastic Beasts franchise is as overlong and dry as it could ever be. Mads Mikkelsen makes for a better Grindelwald on the whole, and Jude Law remains excellent as Dumbledore; However, the story is so scattershot that it’s a wonder the film even has time for Newt (Eddie Redmayne), the supposed series protagonist. The movie continually insists on its own importance in the wizarding world story, but never earns the audience’s attention or care. Despite its improved tonal consistency, the magic has run out.

SUITABLE FLESH Starring: Heather Graham, Judah Lewis, Barbara Crampton, Johnathon Schaech, Chris McKenna, and Bruce Davison Director: Joe Lynch QUENTIN As a movie, Suitable Flesh isn’t something that viewers need to rush to see. However, as an homage to certain movies of the 80s and 90s, I can’t deny that I appreciated the approach and intent. Now, by “certain movies,” I mean the sex-driven, almost soft-core pornography that aired on Cinemax back when it was lovingly referred to as Skinemax, movies like Embrace of the Vampire and Shannon Tweed’s entire filmography. Suitable Flesh nails that aesthetic perfectly, complete with (purposely) wooden acting, a cheesy saxophone-driven score, shoddy special effects, and the oddly era-specific framing. Overall, it’s a nice tribute wrapped in a somewhat meh movie. KATIE Suitable Flesh is a wild ride. The film enthusiastically blends slapstick levels of violence, black comedy, kitchen-sink drama, and psychosexual thrills with cosmic horror. If this sounds insane, it's because it is, in the very best way possible. Although it may appear to have some questionable visual effects and cheesy dialogue, this only serves to enhance its B-movie-inspired appeal. Heather Graham and Barbara Crampton’s performances are delightfully excessive and entertaining, and you can feel how much fun they’re having with the roles. This would be the perfect film to enjoy with horror fans who appreciate nasty-esque video fun.

SEE HOW THEY RUN Starring: Sam Rockwell, Saoirse Ronan, Adrien Brody, Ruth Wilson, Reece Shearsmith, Harris Dickinson, Charlie Cooper, Pippa Bennett-Warner, Pearl Chanda, Sian Clifford, Jacob Fortune-Lloyd, and David Oyelowo Director: Tom George JACOB See How They Run doesn’t exactly have the most interesting set of characters for its love letter to whodunnits, but there’s an old-timey charm in the way it all comes together. Although the plot is overly convoluted, and Knives Out did this better three years ago, it’s still fun following the meta-infused mystery while watching a delightful Saoirse Ronan nail her comic bits (she’s easily the best part). There’s far too many plot twists and the meta-ness of it does become a bit grating after a fashion, but it’s far from a total waste. And your grandparents will love it. QUENTIN See How They Run isn’t necessarily a bad movie, and I admit that having seen Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery mere days before might be coloring my opinion, but it’s an overly bland mystery better saved for your grandparents. It’s going for an Agatha Christie meets Wes Anderson vibe that never really gels, while the whodunnit aspect lacks effective red herrings, good twists, or even interesting breadcrumbs to follow. Saoirse Ronan seems to be having fun, but no one else brings much to the table, not even the usually dynamic Sam Rockwell. How they managed to waste him is the real mystery here.

GOD IS A BULLET Starring: Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Maika Monroe, Jamie Foxx, Ethan Suplee, January Jones, Karl Glusman, and Jonathan Tucker Director: Nick Cassavetes QUENTIN God is a Bullet is more of an acquired taste vibe than an engaging movie, falling in the same block of underachieving films as Savages , The Counselor , and The Bad Batch : violent (and misogynistic?) movies that boast noteworthy names and a few highlights but ultimately result in a mostly meh viewing experience. To its credit, Maika Monroe gives a solid performance, director Nick Cassavetes can stage a bloody gunfight, and one can feel the grime and grit emanating from the screen; However, sadly, the thing I liked most was that the runtime turned out to be 1:50 after press materials told me it was 2:36. PAIGE Directed by Nick Cassavetes, God is a Bullet is a vile revenge crime thriller that is a full-on blood bath. It’s a brutally violent film that may be only for those who have an acquired taste for films like this, but I recommend giving it a chance considering it’s based on a true story. Also, don’t let the runtime scare you because the film is not 2.5 hours long, but even if it was, I’d stick around to fight through it because Maika Monroe delivers another stellar performance.

LOVE LIES BLEEDING Starring: Kristen Stewart, Katy O'Brian, Dave Franco, Ed Harris, Anna Baryshnikov, and Jena Malone Director: Rose Glass CALEB Love Lies Bleeding starts off relatively tame, but before I knew it, I was on the edge of my seat. Director Rose Glass successfully creates a tense, oppressive atmosphere, complete with grungy sets, an overwhelming soundscape, and some seriously sickening visuals. The romance at the heart of the film could’ve been more fleshed out, but thankfully the chemistry between Kristen Stewart and Katy O’Brian is strong enough to compensate for most of the script’s shortcomings. Love Lies Bleeding won’t be for everyone, but its unsettling fusion of romance, crime, and body horror made for an experience I won’t be forgetting any time soon. PAIGE Lesbi-honest, Love Lies Bleeding is A24’s She-Hulk , just with more blood and violence. This gritty and erotic tale of love and revenge doesn’t hold much back. While it does take some bizarre swings in the third act, director Rose Glass does an amazing job creating an exciting neo-noir that is driven by the passion-fueled performances by Kristen Stewart, Katy O'Brian, and especially Anna Baryshnikov. Overall, the movie has a bold plot and amazing cinematography, making it utterly electric. However, I have to say that it seems to be more focused on style than substance. NICK Much like last year's Finestkind , Love Lies Bleeding is another grounded film that is undone by its choice to morph into a crime thriller. Early on, there is a throwback griminess paired with a banger of a soundtrack that really sets the tone for the type of film director Rose Glass seemingly wants to make. Then, in an instant, all of that is abandoned. The quality in everything, from individual performances to the aforementioned soundtrack, diminishes, and the film I was enjoying gets a little too ridiculous for its own good. The tonal change may work for some, but it ruined the picture for me. AMARÚ Love Lies Bleeding is an intense and unforgiving story that shows the lengths some will go for love and lust…and the blurred lines between them. But mostly, it’s a showcase for budding stars Katy O’Brian and director Rose Glass. O’Brian’s fierceness shines amongst veteran stalwarts Ed Harris and Kristen Stewart, and she’s the vehicle in which Glass shows off a unique penchant for mixing drama, crime, and horror elements. The only genre-mixing that doesn’t work is some of the fantasy aspects that stand out alongside a few plot contrivances; however, I admire Glass’ choice to let her voice swing big. ADRIANO Love Lies Bleeding is a lot. I can't pretend it all flows gracefully, especially towards its wonky third act, but at its peak, this film cements Rose Glass as one of our more interesting directors. Bleeding offers a genre-bending ride that is fun, romantic, tense, and squirm-inducing, all at once. The crime aspects don't always work, at least not as much as the film's love story, but it gives us a fantastic performance from Katy O'Brian. Overall, the central story on the dangers of obsession is enough to forgive the shortcomings and just have a blast while watching. QUENTIN Love Lies Bleeding is a perfect example of a movie not equaling the sum of its parts. There truly is a lot to love, from the 80s griminess to Katy O’Brian’s star-making performance to Ed Harris’ amazing skullet. Rose Glass directs the hell out of this thing too, creating a movie that is visceral and immersive. So, why was I generally unimpressed by the movie as a whole? The slow burn is a little too slow, the story is filled with an abundance of contrivances and conveniences, and the fantastical ending is just silly. I didn’t hate it, but it could have been so much better.