MADAME WEB Starring: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O’Connor, Tahar Rahim, Mike Epps, Emma Roberts, and Adam Scott Director: S.J. Clarkson ADRIANO In a purely ironic sense, Madame Web is kind of a miracle of a film. Something of a remarkable achievement in its own way. A film where not one thing is good is something that can't be done on purpose, right? Every line reading is off, the story is total nonsense, and the editing is a choppy mess. I truly don't know how many misfires it's going to take for Sony to realize that they need to give up the Spider-Man rights. If this isn't the final nail in the coffin for the Sony-verse, I don't know what is. AMARÚ Who at Sony keeps signing off on this bullshit? No amount of Spider-Man connections, off-kilter camera shots, and edgy flashbacks can save Madame Web from its poor writing, lethargic action and nonsensical… everything. It doesn’t even have dialogue. Instead of actually talking to each other, people are speaking clichés into a void while their scene partners respond in kind without listening, encapsulated by the most automated-voice-message-system villain I’ve ever experienced. I just hope all the film’s creatives go on to do great things, and pray that Aaron Taylor-Johnson survives whatever Kraven The Hunter has in store. Sony must be stopped. PAIGE When you leave Madame Web , be ready to clear cobwebs out of your eyes, because the Sony-verse may put you to sleep with this dull, lackluster entry. Sincerely, I'm not entirely sure what the studio had in mind when it released this movie. It has horrendous writing, illogical editing, dreadful ADR, and horrible visual effects. Nothing about this origin story is explored enough to make any sense, leaving me with a lot more questions than answers. I genuinely feel bad for the film’s actresses since they tried their best to get through delivering this soulless material. CALEB Madame Web reeks of apathy. The direction is uninspired, the script plays out like a first draft, and the editing is sloppy and disorienting. All of the actors phone it in, but Dakota Johnson’s performance is laughably unenthusiastic. She clearly doesn’t want to be there, and considering how bad the material is, I can’t really blame her. Madame Web is plagued by a lot of problems, but the biggest one is the unmistakable lack of passion from all those involved. If Sony wants audiences to care about these Spider-Man D-listers, then they should convince their filmmakers to care about them first.

ELLA MCCAY Starring: Emma Mackey, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jack Lowden, Kumail Nanjiani, Ayo Edebiri, Julie Kavner, Spike Fearn, Rebecca Hall, Albert Brooks, and Woody Harrelson Director: James L. Brooks ADRIANO You do not have to tell me that the perky Hallmark tone was by design in Ella McCay . It’s obvious the overly sentimental music and cheesy performances are all on purpose, and to the film's credit, there is some charm. That said, narratively, director James L. Brooks seemingly threw every single idea he had lying around, resulting in a ton of loose threads. Unfortunately, none of them have enough emotional investment to properly grab onto. Ella McCay is mostly moving parts being shown at you, and it's not particularly entertaining enough to enjoy. AMARÚ I had to look up the age difference between Emma Mackey and Rebecca Hall to believe that Hall could feasibly play the mother to Mackey’s titular character in Ella McCay . While technically realistic, something about the relationship doesn’t work, which explains this movie in a nutshell. I technically adore these hopeful, goofy, pathos-filled dramas that are feel-good crowdpleasers, and McCay has pieces of that, which audiences will love; however, with its incongruous characters, surface-scratching plotlines, and somehow simultaneously saccharine yet blunt dialogue, the emotion lands hollow. I tried hard to enjoy this, but like the fake promises from politicians this film criticizes, it’s filled with pretty words and no substance.

WE LIVE IN TIME Starring: Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh Director: John Crowley ADRIANO It's entirely possible that timing with personal things that happened in my life recently played a part, but I fell for We Live in Time . I recognize its shortcomings, namely that it's predictable and the film's non-linear storytelling doesn't add anything. That said, director John Crowley and writer Nick Payne seem to have had sincere intentions in making this, as the movie isn't overly sappy. It’s never trying to get tears, and is much funnier than you'd think. Plus, Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh's chemistry and charm add a lot, making this a lovely film, warts and all. PAIGE We Live in Time is a sweet and charming romantic flick that will pull at your heartstrings. The movie has a somewhat basic plot, but it does a wonderful job of exploring its theme of choosing to live life to the fullest for however long we have through the use of a nonlinear format, which is quite beautiful. Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield also have such fiery chemistry together that it makes their characters feel incredibly authentic and endearing. Even though We Live in Time is a somewhat generic movie, it is a beautiful love story that you will fall head over heels for. AMARÚ Many recent films have been utilizing nonlinear narratives, with most faltering when their not-so-airtight scripts tell singular stories. Luckily, We Live in Time is more about life as a whole than a particular journey, highlighting that when you focus on the present time, the journey (and movie) you end up with turns out to be quite lovely. Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield have natural chemistry, enhancing a truly heartfelt screenplay that makes you laugh, cry, and delightfully melt. Their endearing nature and John Crowley’s honest direction makes for a sorrowfully earnest romantic comedy that, rather than feeling emotionally manipulative, genuinely earns your tears. KATIE We Live in Time played me like a fiddle. Andrew Garfield and Florence Pugh’s genuine chemistry imbues their romance with authenticity, and the inevitable conclusion established by the non-linear storytelling enhances the message of living life to the fullest and truly being present to make the most of the limited time we have with our loved ones. It's both deeply moving and surprisingly full of humour, featuring one of the best birth scenes I’ve ever seen, and presents an uplifting way of coping with grief. Plus, it's hard for me not to love a film featuring both of my favourite biscuits. This film was reviewed by Adriano as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2024 Toronto International Film Festival.

HIT MAN Starring: Glen Powell, Adria Arjona, Austin Amelio, Retta, and Sanjay Rao Director: Richard Linklater NICK Who knew director Richard Linklater could be so sexy? What he’s crafted with Hit Man is an edgy rom-com that features dynamite chemistry between stars Glen Powell and Adria Arjona, both of whom made every one of their scenes together bubble with an underlying eroticism. The performance of Powell, in particular, impresses as the role requires some serious range. If there was any question after Top Gun: Maverick and Devotion as to whether Powell could be a star, that’s silenced here instantly. This is Linklater at the top of his game, presenting something that will not only appeal to his fanbase, but reach beyond that. ADRIANO Do you love movies? Yes? Then you'll love Hit Man . There isn't a lot to not love about it, to be honest. Co-writer/director Richard Linklater's latest produces belly laughs nearly non-stop, thanks to sharp writing and instantly lovable characters. Glen Powell's leading man charm is dialed up to 1000, and his chemistry with Adria Arjona is so good that I felt like I was intruding sometimes. As the film keeps going, the plot gets more and more interesting and entertaining, making for a film so calculated, so creative, and so sexy, that it must be seen to believe. QUENTIN Further proving what most people noticed in Top Gun: Maverick , Hit Man reiterates that Glen Powell is a bonafide star as he nimbly bounces between different personas in what may end up as the best pure comedy of the year. Director Richard Linklater, who has already directed several classics, gifts us another one with an effervescent romance crime movie that is dark, hilarious, intelligent, and charming all at the same time. Yes, it’s a sort of rom-com, but it maintains razor sharp edges, refusing to fall down the well of cliché and cheesy genre tropes. It’s like Linklater’s version of a Coen Brothers movie. CALEB Hit Man is remarkably unremarkable. Glen Powell is as charming as ever, but outside of his performance, there isn’t much to elevate this above your typical generic Netflix rom-com. I was expecting something more noteworthy coming from a director like Richard Linklater…maybe something with a bit more style. Unfortunately, everything about this movie is merely fine. The humour isn’t exceptionally funny, the sex scenes aren’t all that sexy, and the narrative doesn’t really become engaging until the third act. If you’re a big rom-com fan, you’ll probably enjoy it, but for me, Hit Man slightly misses its mark. AMARÚ Hit Man is all kinds of surprising that I really enjoyed. A refreshing, if a bit talk-heavy, genre mix-up that isn’t at all what you would expect. Glen Powell continues to flex his star power by making slower-paced, jargon-filled, slightly nerd-troped dialogue enthralling; and easy-to-get-wrong, multi-persona roles hilarious. However, it isn’t until Adria Arjona enters the picture that the film really shines. Their chemistry is off the charts, and by then, you’re already knee-deep into them as characters before you’ve realized you’re watching a charming-as-hell romantic comedy. A thrilling, twisty, wholly delightful romantic comedy. KATIE I found Hit Man underwhelming. Don’t get me wrong, Glen Powell is effortlessly charming, and watching him embody each different persona was very fun and entertaining. However, my engagement waned as it progressed as the film steadily loses momentum before an unexpected but rushed and ultimately inconsequential ending. Powell and Adria Arjona have great chemistry, but their relationship is too simplistic. Plus, Arjona’s character has no substance, seeming to exist only to wear sexy outfits. Coupled with a cast of underdeveloped characters and no sense of stakes, Hit Man is, disappointingly, just fine. PAIGE Even if Hit Man isn't my favorite Richard Linklater movie, it's still a damn good flick that may be one of the most delightful movies of the year. The many hats, or perhaps wigs, Glen Powell dons in the film allow him to fully showcase his capability as Hollywood's next (h)it man, and the chemistry between him and his co-star, Adria Arjona, is sizzling hot. This screwball rom-com is brimming with charisma and lighthearted humor while also doing a fine job of diving into the nature of one’s identity. It’s a perfect movie for a date night. PRESTON I am just amazed that after all of this time, and with so many movies within the rom-com genre, that original, clever works are continuing to be made. Director Richard Linklater shares with us exactly this in his newest Netflix release, Hit Man . What will surely be a common theme amongst any viewer is a newfound admiration, or at least the solidifying of veneration, for actor Glen Powell. His well-stocked rolodex of diverse and fantastic character portrayals demonstrate that he is fit for the most challenging of roles, and I look forward to seeing more of him in the future. SHADAN Hit Man is another solid entry from director Richard Linklater, who has established himself as one of the most consistent (and my favorite) directors in the game. The film is hilarious, twisty, and oh-so-sexy. Glen Powell’s lovable, awkward hitman proves he’s a movie star, but it’s his costar, Adria Arjona, who serves as the delightful discovery in a film filled with surprises. Sizzling chemistry and Austin Amelio’s memorable villain more than make up for a shaky script, delivering a fun romp you’ll want to revisit again and again. This film was reviewed by Adriano, Nick, and Quentin as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2023 Toronto International Film Festival and the 2023 Venice International Film Festival, respectively.

ON BECOMING A GUINEA FOWL Starring: Susan Chardy, Elizabeth Chisela, and Henry B.J. Phiri Director: Rungano Nyoni QUENTIN Have you ever watched a movie that you respect immensely even if you didn’t really enjoy the experience? On Becoming a Guinea Fowl is that type of movie. The messaging that abusers should be held accountable and that continuing to speak up even after being ignored is incredibly important. Plus, the representation of Zambian culture, tribal, and family dynamics is super enlightening. That said, this is not a movie I’d ever watch again, and I didn’t find my viewing experience to be personally rewarding. I did love the final shot, though. ADRIANO On paper, On Becoming a Guinea Fowl could have been one of the year's most talked about films, but something was lost in the execution. Well acted across the board, Rungano Nyoni wrote and directed this film with a very unique lens, leaning heavily into absurdism in its approach to toxic familial relations and the dark secrets that lurk underneath. That said, a lot of the absurdism winds up being less poignant and more confusing, resulting in a film that winds up being kinda messy and unclear on exactly what it wants to say. I respect the swings, but this was mostly a miss. This film was reviewed by Quentin as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2024 Cannes Film Festival.

SAMARITAN Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Javon “Wanna” Walton, Pilou Asbæk, Dascha Polanco, Moises Arias, and Martin Starr Director: Julius Avery JOSEPH Samaritan has its moments. On one hand, it’s a refreshing take on the superhero genre that feels more like the better superhero films from the early 2000s than your typical MCU fare. On the other hand, the script is sometimes lacking, leaving the villain’s end goal, as well as the nature of his superpowers, extremely unclear. The ending also just feels too long. Even with its flaws, the cast manages to shine, especially Javon Walton and Pilou Asbæk. It’s not a waste of time, but I don’t see Samaritan getting a cult following anytime soon. JACOB Like Spiderhead earlier this year, Samaritan feels like a miniseries that got squeezed into a feature-length runtime. The idea behind the film is an intriguing one - old hero, left his life behind, something happens to get him back in the ring; however, the execution leaves a good bit to be desired. Sylvester Stallone plays his knock-off Rocky-with-superpowers about as well as the film’s writing allows, but the rest of the supporting cast gets little to nothing interesting to do, and Javon Walton doesn’t yet have the skills to shoulder that weight. Despite the effort, it just doesn’t work. NICK Director Julius Avery follows up the underrated Overlord with this pedestrian and clichéd effort. Samaritan manages to be both a kids film without the childlike wonder and an action film without the brutal violence. Sure, Sylvester Stallone works in the lead role, but beyond that, there isn’t much to praise here. Neither the effects nor the supporting cast are able to elevate the film, and any surprises within the story are blatantly telegraphed in the opening minutes. This pairing of star and director, as well as the storyline, deserved better. Sadly, the execution did not meet the promise. QUENTIN Have you ever played a football video game that didn’t have licensing from the NFL, so the teams are generically named something like the California Wildcats? Like… yeah, it’s football, but ehhh. That’s basically what Samaritan is. A lazy stab at a non-IP superhero movie that, honestly, doesn’t even have much superheroing. I’m admittedly a sucker for Sylvester Stallone, but Javon “Wanna” Walton, who is fantastic as Ashtray in Euphoria , is horribly miscast here. He just can’t pull off innocent precociousness. With some truly terrible dialogue and a twist I predicted in record time, Samaritan hearkens back to the superhero movie wasteland of the 90s. PAIGE The Sylvester Stallone-led superhero film Samaritan has a blatant 90s action vibe that would have benefited from more action beats to save it from being a fiery pit of disappointment. Sly isn't given the tools to pull off a movie like this because it's built on a weak script and tame story. It also doesn’t help that it has a predictable twist that you can see coming from a mile away. Don’t get me wrong, the film had potential, and if the story dug deeper into the character instead of anchoring itself to generic superhero tropes about redemption, we may have gotten a better movie.

WARFARE Starring: D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai, Will Poulter, Cosmo Jarvis, Kit Connor, Finn Bennett, Taylor John Smith, Michael Gandolfini, Adain Bradley, Noah Centineo, Evan Holtzman, Henrique Zaga, Joseph Quinn, and Charles Melton Directors: Alex Garland and Ray Mendoza NICK If we’re just grading on accuracy and realism, then Warfare would be an easy five out of five. This is an immersive, unforgettable sensory experience. That’s the thing, though. It’s more of an experience than a film. There’s no real character development or backstory; no beginning, middle, or end. It’s like an elevated, true-to-life Call of Duty mission, and I mean that with no offense because it is remarkable. Every cast member brings authenticity and poise to their roles (Joseph Quinn's screams will stay with me for some time), but it's the direction from Alex Garland and Ray Mendoza that really makes this thing stand out. ADRIANO At what point do we watch something like Warfare and ask, "is this even a movie?" It admittedly does an excellent job of immersing audiences in the gruelling reality of combat, but still… Truthfully, the sound work, makeup, Alex Garland and Ray Mendoza's direction, and the performances are all effective in really making this an experience. However, that is all this is. An experience. Warfare is nothing more than immersion without real substance, point, or, character development. Very late in the movie, I couldn't help but think, “is this it?" And low and behold, it was. PAIGE Directors Ray Mendoza and Alex Garland may deliver an immersive and polarizing film with stellar sound design that will leave your ears ringing, but overall, Warfare just ends up feeling like a 90-minute Call of Duty mission. With no real plot or arc, its story becomes soulless. The ensemble’s performances are extremely authentic, but there isn’t any characterization with these characters. Frankly, there isn't much at all to take away from this suffocating and harrowing film, so even though it kept me on the edge of my seat throughout the platoon's mission, I couldn't help but feel empty by the time it was over. BODE The best way to describe Warfare is if directors Ray Mendoza and Alex Garland took the D-Day sequence that opens Saving Private Ryan and stretched it out to 95 minutes. It’s as immersive as a film conveying “war is hell” can be, as its visceral brutality is accentuated by its refusal to rely on much in the way of typical cinematic devices like traditional storytelling rules, intimate character details, or a digestible narrative (an almost-deafening sound design, notwithstanding). It’s an unsatisfying experience by design, but I have much respect for it. QUENTIN Warfare is the type of movie that treats the scenario at hand, as opposed to the people on screen, as the main character, providing a wholly immersive battlefield experience through gritty realism and tremendous sound design. As a veteran, I’ve been close enough to similar real-life situations to know Warfare is as close as one can get to confronting the fog of war without actually enlisting. The palpable tension, distressing uncertainty, and jarring what-the-fuck-do-we-do?! chaos — it’s all there for 95 edge-of-your-seat minutes. Fair warning, though… Warfare will be much better on the big screen than at home, and it could be triggering for some combat veterans.

THE OLD GUARD 2 Starring: Charlize Theron, KiKi Layne, Matthias Schoenaerts, Marwan Kenzari, Luca Marinelli, Veronica Ngô, Henry Golding, Uma Thurman, and Chiwetel Ejioforr Director: Victoria Mahoney ADRIANO I watched The Old Guard for the first time shortly before seeing this, and that movie isn’t that good. But even with that low bar, what a colossal downgrade. The Old Guard 2 feels like a deliberate attempt to worsen everything people liked about the first one. It's one thing that the script is a narrative and character misfire in every way, but the action doesn’t even work. It’s far too choppy, and Charlize Theron being a badass saves nothing. Just a purely irredeemable sequel that guarantees I will not be watching the third film that they set up. AMARÚ When I learned that Gina Prince-Bythewood wasn’t directing the Old Guard sequel, I was worried. Then I watched said sequel’s first scene and got more worried. The rest of the film did nothing to quell that apprehension. Even with its formulaic elements, the original had a grittiness that held my interest. This one treats immortality like a glossy Saturday morning cartoon with unserious physical gags and stilted dialogue continuously reminding us of the so-called stakes. It's a damn shame too, because there’s some cool world-building concepts here that would’ve been exciting if executed with any sort of gravitas.

PRESSURE Starring: Andrew Scott, Brendan Fraser, Kerry Condon, Chris Messina, and Damian Lewis Director: Anthony Maras ADRIANO Pressure is the final boss of dad movies. It’s instantly forgettable despite everyone’s best efforts, and is bound to be viewed on television, cut off by commercials. The overdramatization, clearly designed to appeal to the old-guard Oscar voter, can be laughable, and it shatters my heart to say that Brendan Fraser was miscast. But at least Andrew Scott gives another great performance despite a poorly written character. I suppose I felt the tension as the walls started coming in, but Pressure didn’t end up saying much beyond historical fact, which is the most dull biopic approach. BODE It may seem difficult to provide a fresh perspective on such a familiar event as D-Day at this point, but with Pressure , writer-director-editor Anthony Maras managed to find one. It just so happens to relate to the weather. Shockingly enough, I found that Maras and co-writer David Haig (whose 2014 stage play is this film’s source material) do a pretty satisfying job wringing legitimate suspense and pathos out of that particular focus. It helps to have a solid ensemble fronted by the likes of Andrew Scott and Brendan Fraser, whose battle of egos make this dad movie worth a sit.

MORBIUS Starring: Jared Leto, Matt Smith, Adria Arjona, Jared Harris, Al Madrigal, and Tyrese Gibson Director: Daniel Espinosa QUENTIN It’s a fine line, but for me, there is a difference between a movie being “bad” and being “not good.” Morbius is of the latter variety. It’s poorly written, the CGI is questionable, and there are a lot of things that simply don’t make much sense. Also, despite a few relatively neat “bullet time” sequences, the (too few) action scenes are dark and poorly shot. Worst of all, it’s just boring all the way up to its anti-climactic ending. It’s not the outright disaster that Josh Trank’s Fantastic Four was, but not even the intriguing (if somewhat forced) mid-credit scenes make Morbius worth watching. ADRIANO After two years of delays, Sony apparently fixed nothing in Morbius , which is an absolute disaster of a movie. Everything feels completely rushed and unexplained, so we’re left trying to piece the details together on our own. The character motivations simply aren’t present either, save for the villain (Matt Smith), whose motivations are garbage. To his credit, Smith is making the most of his character, but everyone else is bland as hell. The final act actually had me laughing because I was so flabbergasted. I’m not shocked that Morbius is bad, but I am shocked at just how bad it is. JACOB Morbius may not be the outright disaster one expects from something this uninspired, but it is far from what Sony Pictures needed to make this character a viable success. Inconsistent characterization and one-dimensional plotting haunt this film like a plague, and structurally, it’s an absolute mess. Its main draw – the action sequences – are some of the worst-looking of any comic book movie. Jared Leto does what he can with scant material, but even his initial chemistry with Matt Smith is tossed aside before it can go anywhere interesting. Plus, it absolutely wastes Jared Haris; there’s no coming back from that. JOSEPH Morbius asks the audience an important philosophical question: would you literally kill to look as good as Jared Leto? The answer is yes, but the film says no. Along with this are other subpar things that I had issues with, like the bad CGI, terrible dialogue, lack of blood, and what is possibly the most anticlimactic ending for a comic book film since Fantastic Four . Even the Twilight vampires are far more interesting than what Morbius offers.

KILL Starring: Lakshya, Raghav Juyal, Tanya Maniktala, Abishek Chauhan, Harsh Chhaya, Ashish Vidyarthi, and Adrija Sinha Director: Nikhil Nagesh Bhat AMARÚ For a bit, I forgot the structure of Hindi-language action films, but when reminded of it about 40 minutes in, Kill went from pretty good to “y’all done fucked up now.” The title explains it all, and with Raghav Juyal’s electric antagonist Fani battling Lakshya’s statuesque hero Amrit, their gruesome fights live up to the name. Yet, this film is far from mindless death. Director Nikhil Nagesh Bhat adds true emotion and stakes to the tightly paced, blood-soaked action, bringing authentic emotional investment to each character relationship. Kill is an epic journey with a palpable score and great performances to match, promising a top-notch savage thrill ride. ADRIANO Fun fact: This was my first Midnight Madness premiere at TIFF, and I believe I made the right choice starting with Kill . To put it plainly, Kill is like The Raid on a train. The first act has its fair share of violence, but in the second act, it never stops. The kills are ultra gory, slick, stylized, and messy in the best ways possible. Now, you'd think with a movie like that, it would mainly rely on its kill count, but there's a shocking emotional throughline to compliment the gore. Kill is simply a killer good time. This film was reviewed by Adriano as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2023 Toronto International Film Festival.

VIOLENT NIGHT Starring: David Harbour, Beverly D’Angelo, John Leguizamo, Cam Gigandet, Edi Patterson, Brendan Fletcher, Alex Hassell, Mike Dopud, Mitra Suri, Alexis Louder, Alexander Elliot, and Leah Brady Director: Tommy Wirkola AMARÚ Violent Night is an instant Christmas f***in’ classic. Director Tommy Wirkola put together a romping Family-Action-Christmas movie, intersecting violent brutality, heartwarming joy, hilariously campy comedy, and a pitch-perfect cast. While young Leah Brady (Trudy) holds the heart of the film, the battle between David Harbour (Santa) and John Leguizamo (Mr. Scrooge) is every bit as entertaining as you’d hope. The entire cast is having a blast, the script pays homage to multiple Christmas staples, and Dominic Lewis’ score perfectly sets the mood for the most fun you’ll have in theaters this year. JTE Violent Night delivers exactly what it promises, even if it takes a while to get there. This Christmas comedy is part Die Hard , part Home Alone , and part one of those films where a dysfunctional family gathers for the holidays, but David Harbour elevates it all as a grumpy Santa who rediscovers the meaning of Christmas through bloody mayhem. Also joining Harbour is a great comedic supporting cast that includes John Leguizamo, Edi Patterson, and Beverly D'Angelo. Violent Night may take its time getting to the promised violence, but when it does, it's wholly satisfying. QUENTIN Pure and simple, Violent Night and its mid-90s action sensibilities are a ton of fun. The story isn’t perfect, leaving some of the more interesting bits unexplored, and it’s not particularly original either, borrowing heavily from Christmas classics like Home Alone and Die Hard . Still though, David Harbour is clearly having a blast, and the jolts of energy he provides with each Christmas pun and bloody action scene are infectious. I can easily see this becoming a holiday tradition for me, pairing extremely well as the action complement to Bad Santa . JACOB It has its moments of mayhem and fun, but overall, Violent Night simply can’t compete with John Wick -style action films like Nobody or Atomic Blonde . It’s nowhere near disaster territory, but apart from David Harbour and John Leguizamo, no one in the film seems to be having all that much fun. The film’s script is weak enough for the action scenes to shine, but not strong enough for the viewer to ever care why they’re happening. One-dimensional characters and often terrible dialogue pepper the film throughout, so any time the Santa-action stops, the film slows down to a sludge-like crawl. ADRIANO Ho-ho-holy crap! Violent Night is a film that takes two of my wildly contradicting loves and puts them together: Christmas and hard-R action. The result is a yuletide blast full of gore and fun. While some of the deeper goals aren’t always accomplished in its writing, it does succeed in accomplishing its core objective of creating a hyper-violent action film filled with the holiday spirit. Couple that with David Harbour having the time of his life playing a grizzled Santa Clause and plenty of laughter, and you got yourself an unhinged Christmas blast.