DADDY'S HEAD Starring: Julia Brown, Rupert Turnbull, Charlies Aitken, and Nathaniel Martello-White Director: Benjamin Barfoot This film has been reviewed by Paige and Quentin as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of Fantastic Fest 2024. PAIGE Although Daddy’s Head kind of feels like a ripoff of The Babadook , it’s still an unsettling and moody horror flick featuring a genuinely creepy creature design that will make the hair on your arms stand up. With that said, the characters don't have any depth, which makes them seem rather one-dimensional, even if the story does an effective job of tackling its theme of grief. Overall, this movie will be very hit or miss, as its ending is so rushed that it results in a very anti-climactic conclusion. Still, if you have Shudder, it's worth checking out for the haunting atmosphere in its first two acts. QUENTIN With Daddy’s Head , we have yet another atmospheric horror metaphor about dealing with grief. Honestly, it feels a lot like a knockoff of The Babadook , and, full disclosure, I am not a fan of The Babadook . As such, you can probably gather I wasn’t a huge fan here either. For one, it’s a very slow burn, rarely showing the creature we should be fearing until the very end, which becomes more annoying than anything. Second, it gives few explanations, seemingly trying to elicit forced interpretation to prove how smart it is rather than telling a story with clear purpose. Lastly…just meh. Meh, all around.

THE BOOGEYMAN Starring: Sophie Thatcher, Vivien Lyra Strong, Chris Messina, David Dastmalchian, and Marin Ireland Director: Rob Savage NICK With its relatively simplistic story, The Boogeyman falls into the horror pitfall of “haven’t I seen this one before?” That’s not to say it isn’t good for what it is, just that what it is, is a familiar ghost story. That said, aside from feeling the drag of the build-up a little, I stayed engaged throughout thanks to some solid spooky imagery and the performance of Vivien Lyra Strong (Sawyer). It may not be breaking new ground, but The Boogeyman will still provide a solid night out at the movies, and sometimes that’s all you need. PAIGE While this atmospheric horror film is very formulaic, its scares still manage to be very effective, which allows the film’s eeriness to linger throughout its tightly paced runtime. The Boogeyman is the latest feature to come from up-and-coming horror director Rob Savage, who continues to prove he’s got the style and voice to be one of the next great horror filmmakers, and he builds enough tension to keep you hooked from start to finish. Furthermore, please keep giving me more of Sophie Thatcher in anything horror related because, my god, she always delivers a killer performance. ADRIANO The Boogeyman is a by-the-numbers horror film, but I can’t say it wasn’t effective. Director Rob Savage does a good job of creating a creepy atmosphere that will keep audiences unsettled for a good chunk of the runtime, not relying fully on lazy jump scares to be scary. It’s just… the plot is paper thin. Its themes of grief are pretty obvious and not very effective, and just about everything that I guessed would happen happened. These factors definitely diminished my level of enjoyment, but I can’t say I had no enjoyment. If you’re just looking for some safe scares, this’ll satisfy. JACOB As a fan of Rob Savage’s COVID-era horror film Host , I was looking forward to seeing what he could do with this adaptation of Stephen King’s material. While The Boogeyman certainly contains Savage’s horror stylings in essential moments, the story surrounding them feels underdeveloped. It’s not as though the story is only a crutch to get us to the next horror sequence, but one can feel the deeper moments waiting to be dug out from their surface trappings. The performances work and the set-pieces are effective; I just wish the script they are supporting knew how to honor those efforts.

HAMLET Starring: Riz Ahmed, Morfydd Clark, Joe Alwyn, Sheeba Chaddha, Avijit Dutt, Art Malik, and Timothy Spall Director: Aneil Karia BODE Hamlet has had quite the moment lately, especially with the likes of Chloé Zhao’s Hamnet and Mamoru Hosoda’s Scarlet coming out. And now director Aneil Karia has his own take on Shakespeare’s tragedy, keeping the play’s original language whilst setting it in present-day London. It’s a bold juxtaposition, and it brings about some genuinely fresh ideas (its reimagining of the “play within the play” sequence is a major highlight). But they come hand-in-hand with some safe ones, which can slow down its frenetic momentum - making this a fascinating-but-uneven adaptation. It’s still worth watching for Riz Ahmed’s electrifying turn in the title role, if nothing else. KATIE Aneil Karia’s striking version of Hamlet offers an interesting adaptation that focuses on a South Asian family in modern-day East London. It’s a pared-back, almost gritty thriller that retains the original language, driven by Riz Ahmed’s gripping performance. His delivery is compelling and intense. I particularly enjoyed his approach to the “To be, or not to be” soliloquy, and the choice to have it take place in a car at high-speed adds exciting tension to the scene. The pacing sometimes falters and drags, but overall, this is an intriguing and accessible take on Hamlet .

DUNE: PART TWO Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Zendaya, Rebecca Ferguson, Javier Bardem, Florence Pugh, Dave Bautista, Josh Brolin, Léa Seydoux, Stellan Skarsgård, Austin Butler, Charlotte Rampling, and Christopher Walken Director: Denis Villeneuve PAIGE Dune: Part One walks so that Part Two can run! This film is an astonishing visual spectacle thanks to its exquisite set pieces, breathtaking cinematography, and powerful score by Hans Zimmer. Every line manages to have significance, and every frame has magnitude. From the captivating performances from the entire ensemble cast to Denis Villeneuve's brilliant mind as a storyteller, Part Two solidifies itself among the best sci-fi adaptations to ever grace the big screen. To quote the great Martin Scorsese, “This is cinema!” I truly hope the spice continues to flow because I’d love more stories from this world. NICK Dune: Part Two wasn’t high on my anticipated list since the first one didn’t really land with me. That said, what a fucking film. Part Two both retroactively improves Part One and ramps things up considerably, all thanks to director Denis Villeneuve. Without any hyperbole, this is one of the best directed films I’ve ever seen. Everything from the acting (the authenticity of the storytelling really takes things over the top) to the stunning visual effects fires on all cylinders. It made me anxious, it moved me, and it didn’t waste a single minute of its near three-hour runtime. Believe the hype, it’s a masterpiece. ADRIANO As someone who loves Dune: Part One while also acknowledging some of its flaws, Part Two is a superior sequel in every way. I don't need to tell you, but the technical craft of this film is breathtaking. Director Denis Villeneuve had full control, and it shows in just about every frame. But what really grabbed me is just how well written it is. While there is a decent amount of set-up, as a non-book reader, I was floored by the path the film went down and firmly white-knuckling throughout the entire final hour. Bring on Messiah ASAP. PRESTON Visually stunning, written by a sci-fi legend, and accompanied by a score that is breathtaking…so, why am I not joining the gathering masses popping off chef’s kisses to the sky? Dune: Part Two is just way too long without the needed element of adequate story progression. The dynamic between Chani (Zendaya) and Paul (Timothée Chalamet) is frustratingly inconsistent, there are odd time jumps that gloss over or straight-up skip plot points previously focused upon, and there are some weird casting choices. It’s good, but I suspect I will only revisit it once more before Part Three , which is thankfully years away. KATIE It's been a while since I could say I found a blockbuster truly breathtaking, but Denis Villeneuve’s ambitious sequel to his Oscar-winning film is a triumph, richly building upon the themes, characters, and history he previously established whilst creating an even more expansive and impressive film than the first installment. It earns every single minute of its runtime and could have afforded to be even longer. I was completely drawn into the world that Villeneuve masterfully crafted, captivated by the vast scale, incredible fight choreography, mesmerising visuals, faultless storytelling, and unforgettable performances. AMARÚ The biggest obstacle Dune: Part Two has is convincing the audience it’s more than just another white savior messiah movie. To believe it’s more than that, you have to believe in Timothée Chalamet’s sincere portrayal of Paul Atreides. To believe that , you have to believe all the performances around him. Well… I believed. Not just in the outstanding cast’s varying chess game machinations (especially Javier Bardem and Zendaya), but also director Denis Villenueve’s total dedication to giving epic importance to every aspect of the film. I believed so much so that, even though I still have lingering questions, I don’t question how damn good this movie is. CALEB Dune: Part Two is anything but your typical blockbuster. Sure, it involves plenty of jaw-dropping spectacle, but it’s also entirely unafraid to explore the original novel’s heavy thematic undertakings. Its biggest strength is its willingness to embrace the moral ambiguity of its protagonist, though. The Dune books have always underscored the dangers posed by charismatic leaders, and director Denis Villeneuve runs with that idea, delivering Paul’s (Timothée Chalamet) story as a cautionary tale about unchecked influence. With a stellar ensemble cast, a powerful score, and mesmerizing cinematography, Part Two likely will be remembered as one of the greatest sci-fi adaptations of all time. QUENTIN Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but Dune: Part Two is not the amazing masterpiece my fellow writers would have you believe. Parts of it are amazing, for sure, including the visuals, action sequences, and Austin Butler, but as a whole movie, it only reaches the level of “good.” That’s mostly because the story tries to do too much, and plot points seemingly meant to elicit an emotional reaction fall flat. Plus, I’m left with several questions of the “why didn’t [insert character] do X?” variety. It’s still worth seeing on the biggest screen possible, just remove yourself from some of the hyperbolic takes out there.

PLANKTON: THE MOVIE Starring: Mr. Lawrence, Jill Talley, Tom Kenny, Bill Fagerbakke, Rodger Bumpass, Carolyn Lawrence, Clancy Brown, Mary Jo Catlett, and Lori Alan Director: Dave Needham KATIE I enjoyed Plankton: The Movie as much as a 25-year-old, nostalgic Spongebob fan could. My complaints include how they retconned Plankton's (Mr Lawrence) and Mr. Krab’s (Clancy Brown) backstories, and I’ll always miss the cartoon style of my childhood over the newer, shinier-looking animation, which doesn’t lend itself as well to the visual gags. Nonetheless, I loved the all-singing, all-dancing musical numbers, and it's at its best when experimenting with different art styles to explore Plankton and Karen’s (Jill Talley) relationship, which can be enjoyed by adults and kids alike. ROBERT Plankton: The Movie is reminiscent of a time for a 90s kid when Nickelodeon cartoons would cobble together an arc worthy of two or three episodes into one TV movie advertised as a story we wouldn’t normally see on the regular show. I have fond memories of those, but this didn’t hit the same as an adult. Plankton (Mr. Lawrence) and Karen (Jill Talley), his computer bride, have their relationship firmly central to the plot, but I wasn’t expecting as much involvement from Spongebob (Tom Kenny) and company. Hoping for something different, this flopped on the deck like a dying fish.

ARGYLLE Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Henry Cavill, John Cena, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, and Samuel L. Jackson Director: Matthew Vaughn AMARÚ Sam Rockwell is brilliant at making the outrageous believable, and he tries his damndest to deliver on what director Matthew Vaughn is shooting for with Argylle : an outrageously fun and over-the-top action comedy. Unfortunately, he’s nowhere near enough to save the film from a script as superfluous as the main character Elly Conway’s (Bryce Dallas Howard) spy novels, some surprisingly weightless action, and staggeringly bad special effects. If you want viewers to invest in outlandishness, you gotta make the easy parts feel real, and Argylle is nothing but silicone. Man, what happened to Matthew Vaughn? Please come back to us. QUENTIN While there are individual aspects I enjoyed about Argylle , such as Sam Rockwell delightfully leaning into charming badass mode and a few creatively conceived (if poorly executed) action sequences, the overall movie is an overlong, ugly-looking action-comedy that is surprisingly devoid of fun. Rockwell aside, the A-list cast mostly sleepwalks through a convoluted story that ultimately feels like director Matthew Vaughn trying to rip-off his own Kingsman franchise. All that said, it’s not unwatchable, almost entirely thanks to Rockwell. It’s just one of those disappointingly bland movies that will be forgotten until you come across it while flipping channels on a Saturday afternoon. ADRIANO As a lover of director Matthew Vaughn's other spy movie, Kingsman , it brings me no joy to say that Argylle is a disaster. While some of Vaughn's signature insanity does sneak in from time to time to elicit some fun, the vast majority of the film is convoluted, messy, and an excuse to set up one predictable plot twist after another. While Sam Rockwell is great, he can't save the film's uninteresting plot or horrendous visuals. Not even the reveal of the REAL Agent Argylle is worth sitting through this slog. NICK Director Matthew Vaughn reinvigorated the spy genre with Kingsman , and while that film’s sequels have been a mixed bag, his style and storytelling has acclimated very well to the world of espionage. With Argylle , the style is present, but it comes with a disconnect. The "Vaughn moments'' work on their own, but they feel out of place within the story. Plus, despite the interesting cast, the performers’ utilization is often fumbled. The biggest difference from Kingsman , however, is that this film just isn't very fun, which is not by design. I didn’t hate Argylle , but it’s certainly below the bar Matthew Vaughn has set. PAIGE Argylle is an absurd, action-packed spy thriller that delivers charismatic leads and dynamic action sequences, but as the movie progresses, it gets more and more outlandish, eventually overstaying its welcome. Additionally, despite the fact that director Matthew Vaughn seemed to have a creative vision for this world of espionage, the movie’s excessive runtime, atrocious CGI, and bogged-down script favor style over substance. That said, this shouldn't deter you from discovering who the real Agent Argylle is because the movie is still ridiculously fun. PRESTON First of all…everybody calm down! Director Matthew Vaughn wanted Argylle to feel like a B-movie action flick (I hope), and his intention was to mimic the over-the-top, unrealistic, and trashy spy novels that occupy Wal-Mart bookshelves, which he succeeds at. Yes, the CGI is atrocious. Yes, it is longer than it needs to be (due to an easily cut-able Blades of Glory style digression from an already loose storyline). No, it won’t win any awards. Still, I imagine one of these days I will want to relax after a long day of taking life too seriously, and Argylle will be the perfect fit for mindless bliss. CALEB Argylle is a bona fide masterclass in stupidity; a tacky, miscast, convoluted disaster. Honestly, I’m almost impressed that a movie with visuals this grotesque managed to cost more than $200 million dollars. Hell, it’s impressive that a script this nonsensical got picked up at all. The third act is so ludicrous that I slowly became convinced that I was actually experiencing a psychotic episode. A full-blown mental breakdown was the only realistic explanation I could think of to explain the fever dream playing out before me. I know the year is just getting started, but 2024 may already have its worst movie. KATIE Although my expectations for Argylle were not particularly high, I did at least expect to have fun. For the first hour, I was mostly enjoying myself, almost entirely due to Sam Rockwell’s charming performance and the frequent appearances of a cat, but anything after this point was an effort to endure. The visuals are outrageously poor and unpolished, to the extent the film looked unfinished, the action set pieces are bland, and the plot is so convoluted it's boring. The fact that this is part one of an intended trilogy is astounding.

BRUISED Starring: Halle Berry, Danny Boyd Jr., Adan Canto, Sheila Atim, Adriane Lenox, Stephen McKinley Henderson, and Shamier Anderson Director: Halle Berry PAIGE Bruised is a film that uses the predictable and formulaic beats of a fighter’s comeback story, and one of the film’s best punches comes from the fight choreography. Halle Berry’s impressive work on both sides of the camera as the film’s lead and director (her debut) is also notable. Unfortunately, the script could have used a punch up, as you’re knocked down by cliche after cliche and the sheer volume of story. It’ll leave you wishing the film was a little bit more original. Sadly, Bruised barely leaves a mark on you. JACOB With Bruised , Halle Berry proves herself a capable action star, but also demonstrates that she may need a few more rounds before becoming a notable director. The filmmaking is competent enough, but there’s not much of a voice to be found or point being made that audiences will find unique. We’ve seen this kind of “fighter bounces back” film before and we’ll see it again, complete with the underdeveloped subplots and six training montages that mark this one’s entire runtime. It’s not the worst of Netflix’s releases this year by a stretch, but it’s certainly not one of its greats.

BLACK PHONE 2 Starring: Mason Thames, Ethan Hawke, Miguel Mora, Madeleine McGraw, Arianna Rivas, Jeremy Davies, Demián Bichir, Maev Beaty, and Graham Abbey Director: Scott Derrickson KATIE I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed The Black Phone , but it didn’t seem like it needed, or even justified, a sequel. Still, I went into Black Phone 2 in good faith, only to be disappointed. It’s not as scary, compelling, or effective as its predecessor. I found some of the stylistic choices just didn’t work, particularly the way dream states are captured in a grainy, home video texture, which detracts from the impact. It’s overlong and the plot is convoluted, which is only exacerbated by the drawn-out finale. PAIGE Black Phone 2 is a sequel that probably shouldn’t have worked or even needed to exist, but I’d be damned if writer/director Scott Derrickson didn’t pull it off. He leans into turning The Grabber (Ethan Hawke) into a Freddy Krueger-like figure that makes him more creepy this time around. The story may not be as strong as its grounded predecessor, but its sound design and dream sequences shot on Super 8 truly enhance the eerie supernatural atmosphere. Some of the dialogue and scenes feel a bit rough and goofy, but they don’t take away from the fact that Mason Thames and Madeleine McGraw kill it once again. These two are genuine young performers to keep an eye on.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE WAR OF THE ROHIRRIM Starring: Brian Cox, Gaia Wise, Miranda Otto, Luke Pasqualino, Lorraine Ashbourne, Shaun Dooley, Benjamin Wainwright, Yazdan Qafouri, Laurence Ubong Williams, Billy Boyd, and Dominic Monaghan Director: Kenji Kamiyama PRESTON If you will, imagine two children playing with some generic action figures. They oscillate the figure in their hand between the two stiff, plastic feet in order to pantomime the gesticulations that accompany human speech to emphasize emotion. That’s the best way I can describe the atrocious animation style in The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim . There are odd pauses in speech where facial expressions would have really helped with audience connection to the characters. Instead, we get a bland and cliché storyline that drags for far too long, with only moments of interesting relief. AMARÚ My apathy for anime had a hard time reconciling with my love for all things Lord of the Rings , but the latter took over as The War of the Rohirrim delved deeper into its strong story. Director Kenji Kamiyama constructed an epic tale, taking cues from the best of the trilogy, The Two Towers , to build upon the lore of Helm’s Deep, with Brian Cox bringing its namesake, Helm Hammerhand, to life with beastly ferocity. While the rest of the characters are somewhat paint-by-numbers, and the animation vacillates from spectacle to spotty, there’s enough here to make fans happy with this return to Middle Earth. KATIE Despite its shortcomings, I really enjoyed The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim. The plot is straightforward and some of the dialogue feels perfunctory, but it gripped me emotionally. I cared about the characters, and found it easy to invest in Héra’s (Gaia Wise) fight for her people and her autonomy. The animation is uneven but often beautiful, and the anime style lends itself well to the exciting fight sequences, which are really dynamic and impressive. Plus, Brian Cox is a standout, giving a rousing vocal performance as Helm Hammerhand. ADRIANO A rep for Warner Bros. outright confirmed that The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim was rushed in order for them to maintain the rights to J.R.R. Tolkien's property. I gotta say… You can tell. There is nothing inherently wrong with the story, but it's so basic and unengaging. The movie does have nice visuals in its animation, but the overall vibe I walked away with was that I simply didn't care about the conflict, the characters, or really anything going on. I didn't hate anything about it, but it's just so lifeless.

PREDATOR KILLER OF KILLERS Starring: Michael Biehn, Doug Cockle, Rick Gonzalez, Damien Haas, Louis Ozawa, and Lauren Holt Directors: Dan Trachtenberg and Joshua Wassung NICK Not that the Predator franchise was dead (Prey , the most recent entry, is fantastic), but Killer of Killers sets a blueprint for how to rejuvenate dormant IP. In taking the animated route, there's an opportunity for new stories on a grander scale without needing the bloated budget so many of these projects require. Personally, I'm not much of an anime fan, but I understand the appeal, and fans of that genre should eat this thing up. Even if you aren’t, though, it’s still a good time watching Predators travel the globe, and based on the epilogue, there may be more to come. AMARÚ After Prey , we asked director Dan Trachtenberg to give us Predators fighting different warriors across time, and alongside co-director Josh Wassung, that is exactly what they did – to great success too because Killer of Killer s is awesome. Its fight choreography is stunning, even with an animation style I initially found to be stilted, but the graphic look created a depth of movement that made the action epic, especially in conjunction with the film’s amazing sound. Add in an anthology plot line with no weak links that comes together in a satisfying and intriguing fashion, and we have got an absolute winner on our hands. QUENTIN After successfully showing us Predator v. the Comanche in Prey , director Dan Trachtenberg is giving people more of that same goodness by having Predators square off against vikings, ninjas, and WWII fighter pilots in three surprisingly complete short stories. While I wish it was live action, don’t be deterred by it being animated because it's as action-packed and blood-soaked as any entry in the franchise. Plus, the animation is vibrantly done, demonstrating levels of dimension usually not seen outside of Pixar. I’d honestly watch a dozen more of these. Give me Predators fighting Mongols, Roman gladiators, medieval knights, the Spartans, mob enforcers… The possibilities are endless. KATIE I’m not a massive Predator fan in general, but Predator: Killer of Killers is an incredibly entertaining anthology that works for both fans of the franchise and anyone interested in action-packed animation. Speaking of… the animation style initially threw me; it looked borderline murky at times, and I needed to get used to the odd frame rate. However, this became a non-issue with the thrilling fight choreography, well-developed and interesting characters, and gripping stories that come together in a way that does each narrative justice. It’s not perfect, but it delivers exactly what you’d want in the next installment of this franchise. ROBERT To be frank, I was unaware of the animated nature of Predator: Killer of Killers before I started it, but it struck me how much the franchise lends itself to this format. Through the canon, we were aware that Predators had been frequenting Earth for sport, but to have insight into how people of different cultures dealt with an extraterrestrial killing machine given their time-bound limitations was fascinating. Plus, It was wonderful having Michael Biehn as part of the cast, and hearing Louis Ozawa return to this realm. With its visual appeal and the story expansion possibilities, Killers is truly too enticing to pass up.

A WORKING MAN Starring: Jason Statham, David Harbour, Michael Peña, Jason Flemyng, Arianna Rivas, Emmett J. Scanlan, Eve Mauro, Maximilian Osinski, Max Croes, and Isla Gie Director: David Ayer QUENTIN Although a moderately entertaining action throwback, A Working Man does very little to stand out amongst similar fare like Man on Fire and Taken . That’s not to say it’s awful, just that it’s exactly what you’d expect from “the new Jason Statham movie,” which is to say watching quiet stretches of barely serviceable acting and convoluted-yet-somehow-still-thin story while waiting for Statham to loudly kick some ass. Also, I don’t know what kind of drugs the costume designer was on, but I’ve never seen more hilariously caricature-ish wardrobe choices for the Russian mob (I mean that as a compliment); it must have been the good stuff. AMARÚ After The Beekeeper , I’ll give any Jason Statham revenge flick a chance. However, unlike their first go ‘round, director David Ayer and Statham’s latest collaboration, A Working Man , takes itself too seriously. Instead of laughing with the ridiculous characters and dialogue, I rolled my eyes at them. They do give Statham’s character more emotional depth this time, and while it develops rapport between him and his daughter (Isla Gie), it is as poorly executed as most of the film. The action is hard to see, the story is plot-hole ridden, and although cathartic vibes can be felt periodically, the film is over-edited, overly dramatic, and overwrought. ADRIANO When A Working Man commits to its concept of being a meat-head film with Jason Statham being a one-man army, it's hard not to enjoy. That said, the whole movie's manufactured patriotism makes its anti-human trafficking thing feel fake. I can forgive films like this for not having one sentence sound real, but I can't ignore the plot full of nonsense that just leads to one stereotype after the next. It's also possible that Director/Co-Writer David Ayer and Statham's collaborations don't work for me, as I despised The Beekeeper more than most, and this one is another miss. BODE In A Working Man , director David Ayer, in his second collaboration with star Jason Statham following The Beekeeper , attempts to mix some of that film’s pleasurable insanity with the seriousness that the very real subject of human trafficking allows (making it the second time co-writer/co-producer Sylvester Stallone has tackled it, following Rambo: Last Blood ). Predictably, it’s a baffling mess, contradicting itself as it goes (especially in its almost pandering bouts at patriotism). I can’t deny that I got some enjoyment out of it however, especially in its final 20 minutes, where it truly lets loose. Fascinatingly unhinged.

THE BEEKEEPER Starring: Jason Statham, Emmy Raver-Lampman, Josh Hutcherson, Bobby Naderi, Minnie Driver, Phylicia Rashad, David Witts, and Jeremy Irons Director: David Ayer NICK If you're coming to The Beekeeper looking for innovation, intricate storytelling, and Shakespearean dialogue, then obviously you'll bee highly disappointed. In fact, expectations are going to bee the main thing working against Beekeeper as it probably shouldn't have been a theatrical release. Beekeeper is filled with by-the-numbers action, a plethora of bee references, and Jason Statham doing his best Terminator impression. Something like that could have caught on as a streaming release, but when you're asking people to pay money, it's just not up to snuff. Although it gets credit for beeing self aware, Beekeeper just doesn’t justify a theatrical release… and that stings. AMARÚ In the movie doldrums of January, The Beekeeper is exactly the cathartic revenge fantasy you want to watch: Jason Statham beating the shit out of assholes who need to die. It’s funny enough (intentional and otherwise) to add to the entertainment, and takes itself seriously enough to make you care. And that’s what these movies need - a semblance of care - in order to work. Then, all of the other ridiculousness falls right into its gleeful, violent place. Plus, the ensemble is excellent in picking just the right amount of schlock to elevate this to the best “Jason Statham” movie I’ve seen in years. ADRIANO If you've ever seen a Jason Statham movie, you've seen The Beekeeper . It’s 100 minutes of Statham making one face as he encounters no real danger, which makes all the action tensionless, aside from one fight scene towards the end that has some weight. Also, for an R-rated movie, the violence is mostly bloodless. Mix in the nonsensical plot and really bad supporting performances, the only thing worthwhile about this movie is the comical amount of bee puns. I'm sure some will have more fun with this than I did, but I did not enjoy it at all. CALEB As far as John Wick clones go, The Beekeeper could have been a lot worse. The world-building, character work, and dialogue are all pretty mediocre, but the action is just fun enough to keep the ship afloat. Sure, there’s a few too many jump-cuts, but the choreography is stellar and, as always, Jason Statham gives a great physical performance. It kept me entertained throughout the first half, but it somewhat lost me once it started taking itself too seriously. It won’t change your life, but if you’re looking for a competently made action flick, then The Beekeeper might just be up your alley. PRESTON There are really only three things wrong/unrealistic with David Ayer’s The Beekeeper : first is the terrible blue hat that doesn’t quite look right on Jason Statham’s head; second is the ability to turn off a fire alarm for an entire house with the push of a single button; and finally, the irresponsible wasting of farmer’s market quality honey that hurts one’s soul. Everything else was super realistic *smirk* and, given its intentions, top-notch. Statham’s teep kick continues to be on-point, and Bobby Naderi and Josh Hutcherson put up nice performances in this fun, John Wick -esque B-action film. KATIE If you’re not prepared to enjoy hilariously bad dialogue, non-stop action, Jason Statham doing his best stoic Jason Statham performance, and an abundance of terrible bee puns, this is not the film for you. However, if you’re looking for a paint-by-numbers action flick with plenty of violence, vigilante justice, and a barely legible premise, The Beekeeper is really quite fun! Statham is undeniably engaging, and whilst some of the combat sequences become a little monotonous and the performances are unconvincing, it's a good bit of mindless entertainment. QUENTIN The Beekeeper features Jason Statham Stathaming as hard as he has ever Stathamed, and for me, that’s all I need from movie like this. It’s a delightfully retro action movie that doesn’t make a ton of sense — the kind that would have starred Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sly Stallone in the early 90s — but you aren’t coming to The Beekeeper for mental stimulation and substance. You come to watch a badass mow through faceless goons as he dispenses vigilante justice and spouts one-liners. Is it good? Not technically. Is it enjoyable? You better BEE-lieve it.