CARNAGE FOR CHRISTMAS Starring: Jeremy Moineau, Chris Asimos, Dominique Booth, Lewi Dawson, Olivia Deeble, Lisa Fanto, Molly Ferguson, Patty Glavieux, and Betsey Brown Director: Alice Maio Mackay This film has been reviewed by Paige and Quentin as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2024 Fantasia International Film Festival. QUENTIN Given that this is an uber micro-budgeted film from a 19-year-old director that somehow has six features under her belt, I suppose I’ll give Carnage for Christmas an “A for effort.” That said, this thing is bad, man. It’s like a student film you’d find on YouTube. The acting is really rough, some of the visual flourishes are incredibly cheesy, the acceptance messaging is over-the-top preachy, and, honestly, it’s barely even a Christmas horror movie. Other than a Santa suit, this movie could have taken place in July without much changing. At only 70 minutes, this felt much longer and tremendously lacking. PAIGE Alice Maio Mackay’s queer, Santa-slashing, mystery movie Carnage for Christmas lacks the traditional horror and holiday spirit it is going for. This amateurish, low-budget film truly feels like an R-rated, wannabe Nancy Drew knockoff built on lifeless performances and cringe worthy dialogue. The film's visually distinct, almost overexposed, aesthetic is another flaw on top of the 70-minute runtime that is surprisingly sluggish. I hate to say it, but with all things considered, this movie deserves to be on the naughty list for how bad it is.

REMINDERS OF HIM Starring: Maika Monroe, Tyriq Withers, Lauren Graham, Bradley Whitford, Rudy Pankow, Nicholas Duvernay, Zoe Kosovic, and Monika Myers Director: Vanessa Caswill AMARÚ Reminders of Him had the foundation for a compelling, sappy romance led by four solid actors. So why were the capable Maika Monroe, Lauren Graham, Bradley Whitford, and Tyriq Withers (yes, even Tyriq, who hasn’t truly been provided the chance to show it) given nothing to work with? This melodramatic, emotionally draining movie read like the shallowest of soap operas, was edited like a multi-cam television show, and telegraphed overly descriptive exposition into its overly simplistic narration. Reminders trusted the audience to believe Monroe and Withers’ passable chemistry, but couldn’t trust them to understand the nuanced premise it’s too scared to show instead of tell. ADRIANO I don’t know what happened to Colleen Hoover, but between this and Regretting You , she’s got a weird approach to romance. While not as laughably bad as the latter, Reminders of Him' s kooky narrative of a cosmically connected whirlwind romance centred around a tragedy is strange enough as is, but nothing happens between the beginning and the end. There are no character arcs, themes are repeated instead of properly explored, and the central romance is weak. The ending is sweet enough, but it wasn’t earned in any way. At least Regretting You made me laugh. This did nothing.

POOR THINGS Starring: Emma Stone, Mark Ruffalo, Willem Dafoe, Ramy Youssef, and Jerrod Carmichael Director: Yorgos Lanthimos QUENTIN Poor Things is a hilariously dark and incredibly horny fairy tale oddity that is deserving of every award it is sure to win this year. The world created by director Yorgos Lanthimos is gorgeously brought to life through powerhouse performances from the entire cast, but especially Emma Stone and Mark Ruffalo in career-best showings. On top of that, themes of feminism and self-discovery, as well as a commentary on the patriarchy, are executed brilliantly. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen, it’s near perfect, and it’s easily the best movie of the year. PAIGE Poor Things is a brilliantly bizarre exploration of rebirth that offers a beautifully deranged portrait of what it means to be human, turning the very idea on its head. It allows Emma Stone, who deserves all the praise (including the Best Actress Oscar), to breathe life into her odd character. That said, the second half of the film drags a bit, and it can feel somewhat repetitive. However, that doesn’t take away from the fact that this is one of the most stunning films of the year, from its performances to the steampunk production design to the magnificent costumes. This film truly is the full package. AMARÚ I’ve watched plenty of straightforward movies and asked, “WTF was that for?” But with Poor Things , I immensely enjoyed every WTF-moment director Yorgos Lanthimos and writers Tony McNamara and Alasdair Gray presented (there are a lot). It’s best not knowing WTF this movie is about before watching because all involved create a cinematic WTF-of-an-onion textured with progressively entertaining layers that are anxiously waiting to be discovered. Everything from the idiosyncratic script to the madcap score is heightened to bolster the insanely hilarious cast, capped by perhaps Emma Stone’s best performance to date. Poor Things is absolutely bonkers, and I adored every WTF it made me utter. NICK If you’ve never seen a Yorgos Lanthimos film, Poor Things will likely take you by surprise. If you have… I think Poor Things may still take you by surprise. This absurdist Frankenstein -inspired story is bound to be the most visually impressive film you’ve seen this year, and it has the performances to match it. Emma Stone, Willem Dafoe, and Mark Ruffalo (who is my personal highlight) all portray their own interpretations of real-life cartoon characters, but much like the cartoon world they inhabit, they are grounded in dimension and realism. This is a film you need to see to believe. A spectacle in the truest form. ADRIANO There is no limit to the zany imagination of director Yorgos Lanthimos and writer Tony McNamara, and Poor Things is further proof of that. Its third act drags just a little bit, but beyond that, I found Poor Things to be unflinching and fully devoted to its bizarre concept that offers a hilarious examination of individuality in women. Beyond its unique craftsmanship, the film features Emma Stone at her most committed as Bella Baxter, alongside a cast fully on board with Lanthimos' vision, namely a hysterical Mark Ruffalo and a soulful Willem Dafoe. There's truly nothing like Poor Things . CALEB I’m not sure how to feel about Poor Things . I adored the visuals, but I was torn on the narrative. Tony McNamara’s script is undeniably hilarious, but I’m not sure I understand what he’s trying to say about femininity. Most of the film is about a woman with the brain of a child finding herself by having sex, which is well… yeah. It’s all pretty tongue-in-cheek, but Poor Things seems to be making the point that feminine development is primarily driven by men. Maybe there’s some truth to that, but it’s still a tad too freudian for my liking. This film was reviewed by Quentin and Paige as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2023 Venice International Film Festival and the 2023 New York Film Festival, respectively.

THE ORDER Starring: Jude Law, Nicholas Hoult, Tye Sheridan, Jurnee Smollett, and Marc Maron Director: Justin Kurzel NICK The Order is a feature that works because it checks all the filmmaking boxes. Nothing is flashy, it’s all just really solid. From the simple-yet-affecting score to the airtight performances, there is a real lived-in quality to this film. The action sequences are deliberate (though a little too limited), while the actions and motivations of “The Order” feel quite timely in our current climate. It’s not a horror film, but the implications of the events are quite terrifying, which only adds to the authenticity of everything. The Order is a no-nonsense police procedural, and it’s among the better ones we’ve seen in quite some time. ADRIANO I fell so hard for The Order . It wraps itself up a little too quickly, and I was a bit unsatisfied with how it concluded some storylines, but, almost from the jump, I was firmly enthralled with director Justin Kurzel's filmmaking approach to this police procedural and analysis of extreme white supremacy. On top of that, Nicholas Hoult is amazing, while Jude Law gives probably one of my favourite performances of his. Everything here is simply done well. The writing is precise, I loved the cinematography and sound work, and the tone is perfect. The Order is just a great movie. QUENTIN Simply put, The Order is good, old-fashioned filmmaking for grown-ups, with no gimmicks, no frills, and no egregious attempts to overdo it. At its core is a compellingly intense true story that plays like a mix of Hell or High Water and BlacKkKlansman , all of which is driven by terrific (but not necessarily awards-worthy) performances from Jude Law and Nicholas Hoult. That said, while I could nitpick a few undercooked narrative choices, when the end result is something this riveting (not to mention beautiful to look at because the cinematography and landscapes are top shelf), it’s easier to just give yourself over to it. AMARÚ The Order is a hard-hitting crime film with solid performances from Nicholas Hoult, Jurnee Smollett, and Jude Law, but I’m not sure I’ll remember it in a couple days. The subject matter strikes a nerve, especially with current events, so I thought that I’d have some sort of visceral reaction in one way or another. But I got through it without any overly positive or negative feelings. The heist sequences are tense, but with plodding pacing between each; the direction is forceful, but the screenplay is a tonal whiplash. Overall, The Order has its inconsistencies, but delivers a pretty good watch nonetheless. This film was reviewed by Nick, Adriano, and Quentin as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2024 Toronto International Film Festival and 2024 Zurich Film Festival respectively.

YOUR PLACE OR MINE Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Reese Witherspoon, Jesse Williams, Zoe Chao, Tig Notaro, Wesley Kimmel, and Steve Zahn Director: Aline Brosh McKenna NICK Don't get me wrong, Netflix has released some gems, but they've also made a bunch of movies I've seen and forgotten very soon after watching. Your Place or Mine is destined to join that list. This thing is supremely average, generic, and painfully predictable. Aside from reinforcing my opinion that Tig Notaro needs to be given more roles, it really had no effect on me. It’s the same movie you’ve seen a million times over, and you get exactly what you’d expect from Ashton Kutcher and Reese Witherspoon. That said, it’s inoffensive and easy to follow, so it would make a serviceable “background watch.” PAIGE Your Place Or Mine attempts to be a new version of Sleepless in Seattle , but fails royally in that regard. With two veteran rom-com actors (Ashton Kutcher and Reese Witherspoon) in the lead roles, I was expecting much more, and unfortunately, I’m here to report that they have absolutely zero chemistry. The film lacks charm and is another forgettable Netflix flick, which stinks because the premise offers plenty of opportunities to be something decent; however, it ends up falling flat due to its bland script and mediocre performances. JOSEPH I love Reese Witherspoon and Ashton Kutcher, and the premise of Your Place or Mine should make for a more interesting film, but it’s disappointing. The attempts at humor are lazy and unfunny, and the romance aspect takes a bit of a backseat to the rest of the story. Worse off, the story is actually good - the film would have worked if it was more about self-realization and coming of age - but it chose romance first, which it mostly fails at. Everyone involved deserved better, but it is a tolerable, cute, and mostly forgettable watch. AMARÚ There’s a weird middle place with Your Place or Mine , where there isn’t anything special about it, yet nothing about it is bad either. It often lost my attention, but I wanted to keep watching. It’s a cookie-cutter romantic comedy, but then Tig Notaro throws a hilarious curveball through its tropes. And, seriously, Zoe Chao’s stereotypical intrusive “best friend” should not be as interesting as she is. I’ve seen this movie millions of times before, but I guess there’s a reason they keep getting made, and I enjoyed this one enough. Also… Steve Zahn is always a welcome sight.

THE SHADOW STRAYS Starring: Aurora Ribero and Hana Pitrashata Malasan Director: Timo Tjahjanto ADRIANO Fifteen minutes into The Shadow Strays , two badass ninjas cut multiple heads off, gun down multiple people, and slice folks up. So, suffice it to say, I fell for this movie quickly. The Shadow Strays rarely lets up with its ultra-violence, and when it does, it elevates the characters and the world around them. The movie never feels repetitive either, as director Timo Tjahjanto finds new and exciting ways to chop bad guys up…so much so that I found myself having a blast for all 144 minutes. If we truly are getting the sequel that is set up, bring it on. QUENTIN Writer-director Timo Tjahjanto seemingly makes one kind of movie, and to be fair, he’s really good at that type of movie. However, the problem is that to make each one more brutal and violent than the last, which is a tall task because they’re all viscerally action-packed, the only new thing he has to offer is longer runtimes. The Shadow Strays , his longest film yet, still packs the same bloody brutality as his other films, which is fun, but it drags at 143 minutes, resulting in a diminished entertainment factor. The carnage is there, but it gets unrelentingly repetitive and becomes almost exhaustingly too much. This film was reviewed by Adriano as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2024 Toronto International Film Festival.

PLANE Starring: Gerard Butler, Mike Colter, Daniella Pineda, Tony Goldwyn, Yoson An, Remi Adeleke, Paul Ben-Victor, and Evan Dane Taylor Director: Jean-François Richet AMARÚ Even after flying on hundreds of planes in my lifetime, the anxiousness of that cabin never quite disappears. The low-pitched humming, the constant rattling, and the cramped space puts my body in a very particular state. That’s exactly the state director Jean-François Richet put me in from the very beginning of Plane , and the realistic attention to detail kept my heart racing from one disastrous situation to the next. Writers Charles Cumming and J.P. Davis kept the story simple and grounded, allowing everyman leads Gerard Butler and Mike Colter to excel in this damn good, heart-pounding action thriller. JACOB As with most passable-but-disposable action flicks, Plane is pretty solid at the beginning and end, with a whole lot of nothing in the middle. Although it’s not exactly a waste of time, it possesses neither the substance nor the craft to stand out amongst its peers, and the writing doesn’t help as it continues cross-cutting between the main story and scenes that don’t ultimately bear much weight or consequence. Mike Colter is almost entirely wasted apart from a single fight towards the end of the film, and Gerard Butler, who’s given very little to do performance-wise, barely makes an impression.

THE BURIAL Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Jamie Foxx, Mamoudou Athie, Jurnee Smollett, Alan Ruck, and Bill Camp Director: Maggie Betts NICK I’ve always been a sucker for a courtroom dramedy, so The Burial certainly had my interest. Plus, after Jamie Foxx’s resurgent turn in They Cloned Tyrone , I was curious to see if he was back -back. Oh, he’s BACK. Foxx is electrifying every second he’s on screen, which is only enhanced by the quiet demeanor of Tommy Lee Jones. Together, the pair had me fully invested in their case as it went through ups and downs. Yes, it’s a little formulaic, but that’s forgivable when bolstered by good performances and solid storytelling, which is exactly what The Burial supplies. ADRIANO I didn't fully know what I expected out of The Burial , but it wasn't this. I'm not saying it's unlike anything out there (believe me, that's not the case), but I wasn't expecting something this funny to hold this much weight. Tommy Lee Jones is mostly just being Tommy Lee Jones (not bad, just expected), but Jamie Foxx and Alan Ruck are particularly hard to keep my eyes off of. This is a breezy watch, for sure, but the dramatic depth this film had in its storytelling caught me off guard and left me emotionally satisfied. PRESTON The Burial makes sense as a straight-to-streaming release since it won’t blow your socks off while providing a feel-good win for the “little guy.” Tommy Lee Jones plays his role with a quiet assuredness that probably accurately reflects the affect of the real-life person he portrays, but still comes across as a little flat. The “inspired by true events'' story is already a win, but there was little added to bolster the appeal…except for the addition of Jamie Foxx. The talented actor is ELECTRIC, and his singular performance provides the emotional substance that makes the film a recommended watch. AMARÚ I went into The Burial anticipating a legal thriller, but left having experienced what wanted to be a feel-good dramedy. It has an unexpectedly charming energy that’s carried by Jamie Foxx’s second top-tier performance since June (They Cloned Tyrone being the other). However, while I enjoyed the film, it relies too heavily on that energy to the detriment of genuinely exploring any of its themes. From the courtroom battles to the racial undertones, many scenes and performances feel like shortcuts to the next applaud-worthy moment, and it’s a shame that much of this great cast and healthy story seem downsized to prop up emotional platitudes. QUENTIN If not for Jamie Foxx’s charismatic performance, I suspect that The Burial would be a serviceable but forgettable courtroom drama. Don’t get me wrong, Tommy Lee Jones is good too, especially as he plays the somber straight man to Foxx’s brilliant flamboyance, but the court case at the center of the film feels a little vanilla despite touching on weighty themes of race and one percenters v. the poor. It’s decent enough as a functional crowd-pleaser, but it could have used a bit more gravitas to make the messaging hit harder. Still, for a straight-to-streaming release, it’s worth watching, particularly for genre (or Foxx) fans. KATIE The Burial really surprised me. It’s feel-good and humorous, yet still an engaging and fast-paced courtroom drama with some timely and significant themes. I was fully invested in the relationship between the protagonists, Jeremiah O’Keefe, played by Tommy Lee Jones; and Willie E. Gary, portrayed by Jamie Foxx with an inspiring and electrifying performance. Their shared values and honourable fight against an unethical corporation are heart-warming and easy to root for, making for a crowd-pleasing and unquestionably entertaining film. PHILL The perfectly cast Jamie Foxx absolutely shines, commanding every scene and stealing the entire show in The Burial. Despite hitting the all-too-familiar story beats of a courtroom drama, there remains an undeniably wholesome charm to this film that you can’t help but root for the underdog as they take on the stereotypical super-rich one-dimensional villain. Granted, the pacing feels a little sluggish, and it could have probably dove a little deeper into some of the heavier subject matter; however, the courtroom scenes are always exceptionally engaging, as is the dynamic between Jamie Foxx and Tommy Lee Jones. This film was reviewed by Nick and Adriano as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2023 Toronto International Film Festival.

CODA Starring: Emilia Jones, Troy Kotsur, Marlee Matlin, Daniel Durant, Eugenio Derbez, Ferdia Walsh-Peelo, Amy Forsyth Director: Sian Heder JACOB CODA is one of the most heartwarming films of 2021 and a landmark achievement for the representation of deaf actors in Hollywood. Moment to moment, writer-director Sian Heder’s brilliant script is having the conversation that no one else in Hollywood seems to be having at this scale, which makes the film easy to get lost in and impossible to stop thinking about. Star Emilia Jones absolutely nails it as Ruby Rossi. Her vocal and physical performance sells every minute of her character's journey, and the supporting cast is right there matching her every step. It's a wonderful experience. ADRIANO CODA is a hard film not to fall in love with. Writer-director Sian Heder’s film explores a community of people that is rarely represented on film, while also touching on themes of family and love. The entire ensemble is wonderful, with Emilia Jones shining bright and Troy Kotsur, Marlee Matlin, and Daniel Durant speaking volumes without saying a single word. The film is both funny and heartfelt, and it just makes you feel warm while watching it, especially the third act. Yeah, I cried. Twice. CODA truly is a feel-good movie that is easy to watch over and over again.

VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE Starring: Tom Hardy, Woody Harrelson, Michelle Williams, Naomie Harris, and Reid Scott Director: Andy Serkis AMARÚ Venom: Let There Be Carnage is... not good. In fact, it’s so bad that it gains a designation I give very few movies: stupid. It relegates Oscar-nominated actors to one dimensional caricatures spewing awful puns (someone please save Naomie Harris), while portraying two of Marvel's most vicious villains as neutered parasites in nonsensical love stories (one of which is Eddie (Tom Hardy) and Venom (also Hardy)). Andy Serkis’ direction is a hodgepodge of chaos trying to find cohesion in a story without any. Aside from The Spirit , this may be the worst comic book movie I've ever seen. ADRIANO Though it's not saying much, Venom: Let There Be Carnage is at least better than the first one. It definitely amps up the silliness, making it feel a little more self-aware and, in the process, more enjoyable overall. The main reason is the hilarious back-and-forth between Venom and Eddie Brock (a fully committed Tom Hardy). Still, the movie isn't good. Its terrible script and mismatched tones make the film unjustifiably entertaining, but also very sloppy. To put it simply, the mid-credit scene is better than the movie itself. JACOB Perhaps I’m jaded when it comes to the Venom franchise, but I don't understand why this sequel is getting more love than its predecessor...Or any at all for that matter. Effects-wise, it's nothing special. Direction-wise, it's quite bad. Writing-wise, it often borders on abhorrent. It moves far too quickly with little rhyme or reason, and the good parts are over so quickly and are so inconsequential that it’s as if they were never there. Being self-aware is one thing, but using it in lieu of good storytelling is another thing entirely. Tom Hardy, Woody Harrelson, and Michelle Williams deserve better. QUENTIN Let There Be Carnage is bound to be divisive amongst fans of the comic versions of Venom and Carnage. Just so you know, you should go into this movie expecting a black comedy horror experience by way of the superhero genre because it has more in line with The Frighteners than any Marvel movie. Intentional or not, it’s downright hilarious. I laughed out loud at the Venom-Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy) repartee more than anything else I saw this year, and you will miss out on the bonkers fun to be had if you’re expecting a pseudo-serious take on the characters.

RUMOURS Starring: Cate Blanchett, Charles Dance, Denis Ménochet, Alicia Vikander, Roy Dupuis, Takehiro Hira, Rolando Ravello, and Zlatko Buric Directors: Guy Maddin, Evan Johnson, and Galen Johnson NICK As far as political satires go, Rumours is among my favourite, conceptually speaking. The directing team of Guy Maddin, Evan Johnson, and Galen Johnson fill the opening hour with clever jokes and visual gags, all of which is brought to life via a very solid ensemble, highlighted by Roy Dupuis (pure coincidence he plays the Canadian Prime Minister). However, after that first hour, things run out of steam as the clever intricacies are replaced by a more ridiculous tone. Although this worked for a film like Triangle of Sadness (which, coincidentally, also features Zlatko Buric), it works against things here. ADRIANO I'll always respect a swing for the fences, but you gotta have something to back those swings up. Rumours doesn't have that. I liked the ensemble, and it got some laughs out of me, but it pretty quickly falls off its central concept. Then, the laughter begins to trickle out, and the movie becomes utter nonsense. Its commentary on world leaders' incompetency is lazy, and for a movie with three directors, one of which is the seasoned Guy Maddin, it feels a lot like a student film. Rumours is just a really bad movie, plain and simple. QUENTIN As a political satire, Rumours is certainly clever, but probably a little too smart for its own good. It requires a certain level of winking, “if you know, you know” awareness, and I’m not sure audiences lacking a general knowledge about geopolitical reputations will get a lot of the jokes present in this surreal sci-fi comedy. That awareness is the difference between a movie worth your time and a movie that is merely a mildly amusing diversion. No complaints about the cast, though, all of whom are game for the B-movie weirdness happening on screen. PAIGE Rumours is an over-the-top satire on global politics that becomes less effective and less funny as it goes along. While it does have some fun with its campy camera work, ominous music, and bombastic performances, the script is a mess, and its stereotypical depictions of these political leaders are very one note. Having three directors helming the project kept the movie from being cohesive, as it veers off course while failing to make any kind of point. This absurd film runs out of steam fairly quickly and is pretty forgettable. This film was reviewed by Quentin, Nick, and Adriano as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2024 Cannes Film Festival and 2024 Toronto International Film Festival, respectively.

THE MARSH KING'S DAUGHTER Starring: Daisy Ridley, Ben Mendelsohn, Brooklynn Prince, Gil Birmingham, Caren Pistorius, Garrett Hedlund, and Joey Carson Director: Neil Burger PRESTON The Marsh King’s Daughter is the ultimate tease as a psychological thriller, taking you right up to the point of exhilaration without actually coming through. The initial act sets things up nicely, but what follows is a boring slog that is further hindered by some confusing choices in flashback- and action-sequence camerawork. Daisy Ridley and Ben Mendelsohn are fantastic, though, and, as a film, this may have been the rare case where taking some creative license from the novel on which it is based might have added some pop to a story with an underlying premise that really had potential. QUENTIN Though it does nothing groundbreaking or anything particularly memorable, The Marsh King’s Daughter remains just engaging enough to function as a nice rainy-day distraction. Honestly, it feels a lot like a movie Ashley Judd would have starred in 20 years ago. That said, after an unexpected twist early on, it doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be, with some scenes feeling like they belong in a slasher movie while others are more family drama. Still, it all mostly comes together decently (even if it is predictable), and the performances are solid, especially Ben Mendelsohn. All in all, it was worth the watch.