WHITNEY HOUSTON: I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY Starring: Naomi Ackie, Stanley Tucci, Ashton Sanders, Tamara Tunie, Nafessa Williams, Clarke Peters, Daniel Washington, Bailee Lopes, Bria Danielle Singleton, JaQuan Malik Jones, Kris Sidberry, and Dave Heard Director: Kasi Lemmons JACOB I Wanna Dance with Somebody does not have an identity. It goes through the motions of biopic tropes in chronicling the rise and fall of pop superstar Whitney Houston (Naomi Ackie), but it doesn’t actually have anything important to say about her or a viewpoint from which to approach her story. Ackie works in the part, but it’s not exactly transformative material. Thankfully, the film does touch on Houston’s love life as being not entirely straight, so that’s not hidden from the audience; however, what is hidden is a sense of purpose as to why the film was made beyond “we haven’t done Whitney yet.” ADRIANO I Wanna Dance With Somebody is yet another chapter in the “bland musical biopic” series of films. It lacks any semblance of nuance or dedication while being a great Naomi Ackie performance away from being the non-parody version of Walk Hard . I learned nothing new about Whitney Houston (Ackie), and whereas previous by-the-numbers musical biopics like Elvis or Bohemian Rhapsody had flashy stylistic choices, this film is stale, dull, and lifeless throughout. Whitney Houston deserves much better than this trash.

ORPHAN: FIRST KILL Starring: Isabelle Fuhrmann, Julia Stiles, Rossif Sutherland, Matthew Finlan, and Hiro Kanagawa Director: William Brent Bell NICK When you have a moderately well-received film that is memorable mostly for its twist ending, it’s a no-brainer to release a prequel to that film 13 years later, right? Yes, it’s fun to watch Isabelle Fuhrman step back into the role of Esther (which she does seamlessly), and director William Brent Bell doesn’t shy away from the camp; however, the problem is that once the nostalgia wears off, you’re left with an overlong film featuring a miscast Julia Stiles that doesn’t add much to the Orphan mythos. "Unnecessary" seems to be the best word to describe Orphan: First Kill . JOSEPH It’s a bold move to follow up a film like Orphan with a prequel 13 years later, so, honestly, Orphan: First Kill shouldn’t work. It surprisingly does though, even incorporating new twists to deepen Esther’s (Isabelle Fuhrman) lore. Fuhrman does a great job reprising the character, while Julia Stiles gets to show a side rarely seen from her. Overall, it’s a wild and tense ride that is more about the journey than the destination, yet every bit as messed up as its predecessor. Orphan: First Kill is sure to please fans of the original.

THE BOY AND THE HERON Starring: Soma Santoki, Masaki Suda, Aimyon, Yoshino Kimura, Shōhei Hino, Ko Shibasaki, Takuya Kimura, Jun Kunimura, and Kaoru Kobayashi Director: Hayao Miyazaki ADRIANO Hayao Miyazaki's latest feature, The Boy and the Heron , is another wonder from the legendary filmmaker, but one that unfortunately falls just short of greatness. Like Miyazaki's other films, the animation is stunning to look at, with every single frame a sight to behold as it takes you to a universe that shows Miyazaki's imagination holds no equal. While its themes of grief are well written, the film throws a bit too much at the viewer to get the message across, making the film less thought-provoking and more overwhelming. It’s another win for Miyazaki, but not amongst his best. PAIGE While The Boy and the Heron is another captivating film by Hayao Miyazaki, I can’t help but feel that its themes missed the mark for me. It just wasn’t as compelling as his previous works, and it relies heavily on beats similar to those from his other films instead of bringing something new to the table. Still, it’s visually spectacular (as usual) and quite funny at times, but it's tonally inconsistent, with Joe Hisaishi’s score ultimately elevating the film’s emotional beats. CALEB I’ve always admired director Hayao Miyazaki’s films more than I’ve actually enjoyed them, and The Boy and the Heron is no exception. The animation is a feast for the eyes, but the story is severely disjointed. The characters are weak, the world-building is muddled, and the pacing is genuinely bad. I’m sure there are layers to peel back and analyze here, but it’s all too abstract for its own good. There isn’t a strong enough narrative on the surface to spark any curiosity about the hidden meanings or subtext below. I had high hopes, but this is easily Miyazaki’s least coherent effort. This film was reviewed by Adriano and Paige as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2023 Toronto International Film Festival and the 2023 New York Film Festival, respectively.

NONNAS Starring: Vince Vaughn, Lorraine Bracco, Linda Cardellini, Joe Manganiello, Drea de Matteo, Brenda Vaccaro, Talia Shire, Michael Rispoli, Campbell Scott, and Susan Sarandon Director: Stephen Chbosky KATIE Nonnas is an unexpectedly heart-warming comedy inspired by a true story. I loved the themes of connecting to your heritage and loved ones through food, and the sincere approach to the story makes it overly sweet, but easy to enjoy. The “nonnas” Susan Sarandon, Lorraine Bracco, Talia Shire, and Brenda Vaccaro are an endlessly charming bunch, and although some of their scenes don’t quite work, their performances are still a pleasure to watch, complemented by Vince Vaughn’s reliable, good-guy charm. Like the best Italian dishes, Nonnas is warm, cheesy, and familiar; a true Sunday afternoon kind of film. ADRIANO As an Italian man, I may have a bias to this personally relatable story, but I was so endeared by Nonnas that it nearly brought me to tears. I don't expect people without that connection to have a similar reaction as the movie can be pretty flat, both dramatically and comedically. But when I watched the nonnas and Joe (Vince Vaughn) discuss their familial migration history in a warm and goofy way, it was hard not to smile. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go hug my nonnas. ROBERT A recipe for a successful Vince Vaughn comedy usually doesn’t rely on heart and emotion, but The Internship proved that is when his films are at their most unique. Nonnas is no exception, as juvenile humor has been replaced with warm messaging about honoring elders and the dead, and keeping family alive in tradition passed down, like food. Those heartfelt moments spoke to me the most, and seeing actresses I haven’t seen on screen in a while, like Lorraine Bracco and Talia Shire, inspired the most joy. I went in expecting something like 80 for Brady , but was fed something much more substantial.

THE KITCHEN Starring: Kane Robinson, Jedaiah Bannerman, Hope Ikpoku Jr., Teija Kabs, Demmy Ladipo, Cristale, BackRoad Gee, Rasaq Kukoyi, Reuben ‘Trizzy’ Nyamah, Henry Lawfull, Alan Asaad, and Ian Wright Directors: Kibwe Tavares and Daniel Kaluuya PAIGE While The Kitchen exposes the housing crisis and demonstrates the meaning of “found family” through community in a somewhat original manner, the actual narrative of this lo-fi, dystopian flick is presented in an uninteresting way. The grounded story is such a slow burn that it doesn’t do enough with its concept to allow it to come entirely to fruition. Overall, The Kitchen has potential and promise; its ideas just aren’t fully explored. I'm hoping co-director Daniel Kaluuya learns from the storytelling mistakes made here. QUENTIN While I want to give credit to first time feature directors Kibwe Tavares and Daniel Kaluuya, it’s a hard ask given how incredibly boring The Kitchen is. It’s the slowest of slow burns, and no amount of impressive world-building and timely themes can help a story that mostly meanders about for a very long 107 minutes. Also, Netflix is billing this movie as sci-fi, which…I guess, if only going by the very loosest of genre definitions. Tavares and Kaluuya show some technical promise behind the camera, for sure, but Kaluuya, who also co-wrote the script with Joe Murtagh, needs to work on his storytelling abilities. KATIE The Kitchen is less a sci-fi thriller and more of a social-realist dystopian drama that I nevertheless found emotionally engaging and exciting. The film paints a different but eerily similar portrait of a near-future Britain, like a chilling cautionary tale that highlights the issues already existing within the system, which is underscored by compelling emotional drama. Although the story gets lost at times, it is redeemed by impactful performances from Kane Robinson and Jedaiah Bannerman, as well as the impressive way in which co-directors Daniel Kaluuya and Kibwe Tavares portray the solidarity and vibrant energy of the close-knit community of The Kitchen.

BLACKBERRY Starring: Jay Baruchel, Glenn Howerton, Matt Johnson, Cary Elwes, and Saul Rubinek Director: Matt Johnson NICK The downfall of BlackBerry is a story I knew a fair bit about, but the rise was a little less on my radar. While this film luckily encompasses the entire thing, it works against the story a bit as interesting details are set aside in favour of dramatic time jumps, which can cause some whiplash. Where this film shines, however, is the performance of Glenn Howerton as Jim Balsillie. He is a powerhouse on screen, and at his best when coming completely unhinged, making the perfect counter to Jay Baruchel's subdued Mike Lazaridis. The two of them carry this to being quite the entertaining film. QUENTIN I love a good rise-and-fall corporate story, something BlackBerry certainly delivers. Tone-wise, it nimbly bounces between Silicon Valley and The Social Network , though the "rise" arc is much stronger than that of the "fall," which is a tad rushed. However, I can’t say enough about the casting. Glenn Howerton is perfect as a hot-headed corporate shark, bringing the same deep-seated rage he has demonstrated on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia for 15 seasons, and Jay Baruchel’s natural awkwardness serves his nerdy, “tech guy” character well. It’s not Oscar-worthy, but I wouldn’t be surprised if BlackBerry eventually wins some smaller awards down the line. ADRIANO BlackBerry is a rise-and-fall true story that fascinated and entertained me, yet its lasting impact likely is minimal. The mix of The Social Network , The Big Short , and Silicon Valley vibes work in creating an electric tone that made me laugh, and the ensemble is great, especially a towering performance from Glenn Howerton that is truly unforgettable. However, while the pieces are there, it feels like it’s missing something. Perhaps if we were given a better look at our characters and what drives them, it would have elevated BlackBerry to the level of biopic it aspires to be, but it remains a fun time nonetheless. PAIGE BlackBerry is one of those "based on a true story" films that you watch and quickly forget about. Though it is an interesting rise-and-fall story that benefits from director’s Matt Johnson's honest indie approach, the film begins to lose its charm in the second half. It goes down a predictably conventional route that feels as dated as the actual BlackBerry phone. That said, it features some really enjoyable stuff too, especially Jay Baruchel and Glenn Howerton giving performances that feel different and unhinged, respectively. This film was reviewed by Quentin as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2023 Berlinale International Film Festival.

REBEL MOON: PART ONE - A CHILD OF FIRE Starring: Sofia Boutella, Charlie Hunnam, Michiel Huisman, Djimon Hounsou, Doona Bae, Ray Fisher, Cleopatra Coleman, Jena Malone, Ed Skrein, Fra Fee, and Anthony Hopkins Director: Zack Snyder PRESTON Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire is one of my biggest regrets of 2023. I was never in the Zack Snyder cult camp, but his visuals have always seemed better than what was accomplished here. The dialogue is truly atrocious, and the set designs and effects are beyond contrived. The overuse of slow-motion in every action scene without good choreography is laughable and its fight scenes are toothless. If you are a masochist and can’t help yourself, I suggest waiting for the R-rated version in desperate hopes that violence and sex might save the day. ADRIANO It's kind of amazing how much of an unmitigated disaster Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire is. This film sees Zack Snyder cater to his cult audience by thinning the film out so that he can make an extended cut, which makes no sense given the streaming release. With that in mind, the movie feels lacking in character and engaging plot (most of the movie is just recruiting people). With the numbingly bad action and visuals (from a director who typically produces great visuals), this is a horrible launch for what's supposed to be a grand franchise. KATIE I cannot quite believe how terrible Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire is. It’s audaciously derivative, with every aspect ripped straight from a Film Bro’s list of favourite sci-fi films. The script is bland, contrived, and devoid of nuance, with lengthy chunks of mind-numbing exposition sandwiched between boring action scenes featuring excessive, pointless use of slow motion. Despite all the exposition, every character is woefully undeveloped, giving me no reason to care about them. The only solace lies in knowing that I will not subject myself to the next installment of this prematurely disappointing franchise. CALEB At its worst, Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire is a bad Star Wars rip-off. At its best, it’s a bad The Fifth Element rip-off. Director Zack Snyder’s “original” sci-fi world is devoid of anything remotely unique, shamelessly wearing its influences on its raggedy sleeves. The characters are comically underdeveloped, the world-building is a joke, and the stakes are non-existent. I was at least hoping for some fun spectacle to chew on, but the mediocre effects and tacky cinematography left me extremely disappointed. Rebel Moon is Snyder’s worst film to date and an absolute embarrassment. NICK In spite of a compelling story and some spectacular visuals, a weak lead performance holds things back from greatness. But enough about The Creator . Rebel Moon: Part One - A Child of Fire has all the same issues as that film but exacerbated and with none of the positives. When push comes to shove, I often find myself in the position of defending director Zack Snyder… but this is easily his weakest effort. Rebel Moon is a slog of a film filled with poorly written exposition, wooden performances, and far too much slow motion. I remain in Snyder’s corner, but I cannot defend this film. PAIGE Sadly, Rebel Moon : Part One - A Child of Fire is a poor man’s Star Wars . This resulted in me being completely uninterested in the stakes at play (which you never feel) because it is full of lifeless and undeveloped characters. Plus, director Zack Snyder intends to release a Snyder cut of the movie, which makes this version feel extremely bogged down and clunky. Overall, this so-called space epic is disjointed and sluggish, leaving me uninterested in a continuation of the story. The sole redeeming quality of this film is that it gives Sofia Boutella, the heroine, a chance to show off her fierceness.

LEVITICUS Starring: Joe Bird, Stacy Clausen, Jeremy Blewitt, Ewen Leslie, Davida McKenzie, Tyallah Bullock, and Mia Wasikowska Director: Adrian Chiarella ROBERT Not that it wasn’t always a trope, but it seems like the “unnamed evil entity” has become as synonymous with modern horror as the monkey’s paw. So, standing out amongst the throngs is paramount, and Leviticus does an admirable job with our enemy fighting people over concerns of sexual identity in the face of unyielding religious beliefs. The core partnership of Joe Bird’s Naim and Stacy Clausen’s Ryan is the driving force, along with the bait-and-switches between the characters and the entity impersonating them. It reminded me of It Follows with more of a coming-of-age vibe. Add another Australian thing that could kill you. PAIGE Leviticus is a queer horror film that is not only terrifying but also heartbreaking. While its elevated premise and themes could have been more fleshed out, this is a strong debut from writer/director Adrian Chiarella. What makes the film so effective is the vulnerability and pain that is on display here. Our two leads played by Joe Bird and Stacy Clausen deliver commanding performances that not only ground the story but also make the horror feel even more impactful. Ultimately, the true horror in this film is religious repression.

THE ORDER Starring: Jude Law, Nicholas Hoult, Tye Sheridan, Jurnee Smollett, and Marc Maron Director: Justin Kurzel NICK The Order is a feature that works because it checks all the filmmaking boxes. Nothing is flashy, it’s all just really solid. From the simple-yet-affecting score to the airtight performances, there is a real lived-in quality to this film. The action sequences are deliberate (though a little too limited), while the actions and motivations of “The Order” feel quite timely in our current climate. It’s not a horror film, but the implications of the events are quite terrifying, which only adds to the authenticity of everything. The Order is a no-nonsense police procedural, and it’s among the better ones we’ve seen in quite some time. ADRIANO I fell so hard for The Order . It wraps itself up a little too quickly, and I was a bit unsatisfied with how it concluded some storylines, but, almost from the jump, I was firmly enthralled with director Justin Kurzel's filmmaking approach to this police procedural and analysis of extreme white supremacy. On top of that, Nicholas Hoult is amazing, while Jude Law gives probably one of my favourite performances of his. Everything here is simply done well. The writing is precise, I loved the cinematography and sound work, and the tone is perfect. The Order is just a great movie. QUENTIN Simply put, The Order is good, old-fashioned filmmaking for grown-ups, with no gimmicks, no frills, and no egregious attempts to overdo it. At its core is a compellingly intense true story that plays like a mix of Hell or High Water and BlacKkKlansman , all of which is driven by terrific (but not necessarily awards-worthy) performances from Jude Law and Nicholas Hoult. That said, while I could nitpick a few undercooked narrative choices, when the end result is something this riveting (not to mention beautiful to look at because the cinematography and landscapes are top shelf), it’s easier to just give yourself over to it. AMARÚ The Order is a hard-hitting crime film with solid performances from Nicholas Hoult, Jurnee Smollett, and Jude Law, but I’m not sure I’ll remember it in a couple days. The subject matter strikes a nerve, especially with current events, so I thought that I’d have some sort of visceral reaction in one way or another. But I got through it without any overly positive or negative feelings. The heist sequences are tense, but with plodding pacing between each; the direction is forceful, but the screenplay is a tonal whiplash. Overall, The Order has its inconsistencies, but delivers a pretty good watch nonetheless. This film was reviewed by Nick, Adriano, and Quentin as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2024 Toronto International Film Festival and 2024 Zurich Film Festival respectively.

MARLOWE Starring: Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, Jessica Lange, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Alan Cumming, Danny Huston, Ian Hart, Colm Meaney, Daniela Melchior, and François Arnaud Director: Neil Jordan JOSEPH While pretty to look at, Marlowe is just all around bad, and I don’t understand what went wrong with such a talented cast. The dialogue is so creatively bankrupt that it borders on parody, as does the overuse of slurs and outdated terms. Even the editing is confusing, as this noir-based film has a warm and naturalistic lighting tone, something I don’t think I’ve seen in any detective film save for maybe Who Framed Roger Rabbit? I just don’t get it. Marlowe makes a disappointing centennial entry in Liam Neeson’s catalog. The only good thing about it is the poster. QUENTIN While I love hard-boiled detective noirs, and it’s nice to see Liam Neeson do something other than another bargain bin action thriller, Marlowe simply doesn’t hit the mark. Admittedly, the production design looks nice, enveloping the viewer with familiar genre vibes, but said vibes also feel incredibly hollow, like cheap cosplay or a 1930s-themed escape room. Unfortunately, the acting, dialogue, and central mystery range from abysmal to barely tolerable, which only adds to the film’s insincerity. Frankly, it just doesn’t seem like anyone was really trying here. At one point, Neeson’s character says, “I’m getting too old for this.” You and me both, buddy. JACOB Despite dressing itself as one and attempting to behave like one, Marlowe doesn’t seem terribly interested in actually being a true noir piece. Apart from its production design, overly and needlessly convoluted dialogue, and a couple of good costumes, everything is simply set up to look like film noir while the direction refuses to commit to the genre. There’s no style, no pizzazz. Thankfully, it does eventually find its footing after a thoroughly choppy first act, and the criminally underused Jessica Lange provides some weightiness with her screen time, but for Liam Neeson’s 100th movie, it couldn’t be less remarkable. DARRYL Marlowe will be a film that's easily forgotten by the end of March. A convoluted story, presented to the audience in such a confoundingly bad manner, is only minimally saved by Neil Jordan's direction and the production design. Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, and Jessica Lange do the best they can with the milquetoast screenplay but, thanks in large part to writer William Monahan, what could've been a sumptuous feast of a story ends up being little more than cold broth. It’s a poor excuse for a neo-noir, and most of the usual trappings are present without a framework to make effective use of them.

IT ENDS Starring: Phinehas Yoon, Akira Jackson, Noah Toth, and Mitchell Cole Director: Alex Ullom ROBERT How would you treat a journey into the infinite void… would you accept your fate, or fight against it for an escape? It Ends subverts expectations on the meaning behind the featured quartet being stuck in this never-ending spat of road because it isn’t about reveals or twists. It's about the human condition when presented with endlessness. While there isn’t much technically to speak of, the acting creates a genuine sense of push-and-pull between long-time friends being trapped in a car. This film will spark deep, philosophical discussions with your own friends on the way home from the theater; just don’t miss your turnoff. QUENTIN Although It Ends runs a tad too long for its simple premise, even at barely 90 minutes, I can’t deny its subtle philosophical impact. The quartet of unknown actors do a brilliant job of encapsulating the typical archetypes of those leaving college for the real world, and the unending road is a tremendous metaphor for adulthood. I hope it leads to self-introspection in people because I certainly saw myself and people I love dearly in these characters. It’s not a horror movie in the traditional sense with jump-scares and gore; it’s frightening on an entirely different level because it makes you question how you're living life. AMARÚ It Ends is an interesting thriller with solid performances and a thought-provoking premise, but it risks feeling repetitive as it wanders as aimlessly as its characters. Weirdly, that aimlessness is exactly what the film is looking to capture while digging deeper into the ensemble's collective psyche. Is it meant to have us think about our lives and how we spend it, or is it primarily a mind-bender that has no other reason for being than to mess us up? It Ends never ends, which is both the best and worst thing about it. PAIGE It Ends has an interesting concept, but it’s too aimless with its mystery. While its themes are supposed to symbolize adulthood and the routine of life through this endless road, this The Twilight Zone -like concept doesn’t amount to much within the actual story. The performances are solid, but there’s not much development, the characters aren’t given much to do, and the film drags as it goes along. It tries to be a thought-provoking piece, but there’s no real catharsis to it. To be frank, the film is a bore and way too ambiguous for its own good.

NYAD Starring: Annette Bening, Jodie Foster, Rhys Ifans, Ethan Jones Romero, Luke Cosgrove, Jeena Yi, and Eric T. Miller Directors: Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi and Jimmy Chin CALEB Nyad is alright for what it is, but it certainly could have been better. This true story is undoubtedly one worth telling, but the narrative is hindered by some baffling creative choices. There are some very jarring visual effects decisions that entirely distracted me during key moments where I should’ve been invested. I don’t think the film’s take on trauma and abuse is all that impactful either, with most of these scenes falling rather flat. I’m happy that Diana Nyad (played here by Annette Bening) managed to live up to her ultimate potential, but I wish I could say the same about her biopic. ADRIANO On one hand, Nyad did produce some hard laughter; on the other hand, the movie is not supposed to be a comedy. It’s amazing how directors Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi and Jimmy Chin direct the film with nothing to offer; however, whenever they try to go outside the box, the decisions are atrocious. Its mix of documentary-style formatting doesn’t work, and the movie doesn't give you anything beyond a feel-good ending. Jodie Foster and Rhys Ifans are good, but wow, Annette Bening is horrendous. Beyond being unintentionally hilarious, Nyad is a massive waste of time. PRESTON How do I miss these incredible feats that are accomplished during my lifetime? My ignorance happened to work in my favor this time as Nyad turned out to be an incredible story to learn about. It touches on past traumas and what might drive Diana Nyad (Annette Bening) to complete the insane feat of swimming from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage, but also portrays her in a somewhat unflattering light (however accurate this may be). It may not be an Oscar-winning film in any regard, but its hybrid documentary-style nicely highlights the imperfect human condition and what can be accomplished in spite of it. This film was reviewed by Adriano as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2023 Toronto International Film Festival.