Previous Next January 7, 2026 WRITTEN BY: ROBERT As we enter a new year, we tend to preoccupy ourselves with resolutions and the ways in which the next twelve months will be different from the last. Our considerations are split between reflecting on the past and contemplation of the future, probably more so than any other time of year. With that in mind, what did 2025 inform us about pop culture? For one, movies for kids are the cash cow kings, especially internationally, as Ne Zha 2 , Zootopia 2 , Lilo & Stitch , and A Minecraft Movie were all in the top five in terms of worldwide box office. Also, no matter the impact of his written works, Hollywood will always find ways to adapt Stephen King properties for big and small screens alike, with six such projects releasing over the past year and nine additional ones on the horizon. Combining those two observations, as well as the indication that a new Disney+ special is going to stream in 2026 for the 50th anniversary of The Muppet Show , I wanted to tackle an exercise born from and existing as an integral fabric within Internet culture. So, let’s be mindful of the sewers and mysterious fogs, try to be nice to any outcast coworkers or classmates, and read the warnings for any unwanted toys as we look at the best Stephen King adaptations to receive the “Muppet treatment.” Of note, my approach will replace all actors within a given work of fiction with Muppets except for one, leaving a singular human, much like Michael Caine’s Ebenezer Scrooge in The Muppet Christmas Carol . 5. CUJO Synopsis: Cujo, a friendly St. Bernard, contracts rabies and conducts a reign of terror on an American farm Right off the bat, pun intended, we are stretching the parameters of this article’s thesis by spotlighting Cujo since the real star of the movie is the St. Bernard. Thus, he must remain in his current form; however, every human character that falls victim to Cujo's rabid rampage could be switched out for puppets so the audience could see the stuffing fly! Granted, it is a smaller cast, but most of them, especially the fodder for Cujo’s maiming, are caricatures with less depth and soul than Jim Henson’s creations anyways, so nothing is lost in translation. Imagine the Trenton family, comprised of Kermit, Ms. Piggy, and Robin, doing their best to survive a killer dog while side Muppets like Sweetums and Bobo the Bear, given their closer relation to mindless creatures, serve as the mechanic and alcoholic neighbor who first notice Cujo’s transformation and are powerless against him. Even though in the realm of Muppets they are huge, they would pale in comparison to a 200-pound murder machine. You might think it out of place for Muppets to be tortured in such a fashion, but their resemblance to stuffed animals would make the horror show a little more palatable, a little zanier, and it could teach kids about who to trust with the health of their car in a less harrowing way. If you have a dog, you know what wanton destruction of property looks like, so why not be entertained as it is happening? 4. THE LONG WALK Synopsis: A group of teenage boys compete in an annual contest known as "The Long Walk," in which they must maintain a certain walking speed or get shot. Given the crowded history of King-inspired media, The Long Walk ’s inclusion might reek of recency bias, but beneath the layers of darkness and despair is a feeling of hopefulness for the competitors. Muppet stories are generally inspirational, and while the conflicts within those stories aren’t quite as violent, they do test their mettle and push them to their limits. Originally, I considered Cooper Hoffman’s Raymond Garraty as the lone human, thinking about him juxtapositioned with either two- or eight-foot-tall walkers, trying to prop him up to keep him alive or ragging on the guys defecating in the streets. Then, I remembered there is an actor involved with extensive scene experience alongside Jim Henson creations. Picture the long and lonesome highways populated by only the fifty men trying to earn generational wealth in an impoverished future. Now picture them as puppets being screamed at by Mark Hamill’s The Major to “flex that sac.” I mean, if he can help make us weep at Yoda’s passing, he can certainly inspire the Muppets to hate him enough to want him dead. 3. CARRIE Synopsis: Carrie White — a shy, friendless teenage girl who is sheltered by her domineering, religious mother — unleashes her telekinetic powers after being humiliated by her classmates at her senior prom. We have seen the Muppets as babies, and we have seen them as “adults” in the workforce, but a gap has always existed between those periods. We’ve never seen them as adolescents. Enter Carrie , where Sissy Spacek stays in her role as Carrie White, but her peers, her bullies, and most importantly, her mom, are now taken over by felted costars. I could see Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem performing at the prom prior to the splashing of the pig’s blood (no harm to Ms. Piggy or Link Hogthrob to set up that prank, mind you). You could also have the Penguins or Whatnots in the background as victims of Carrie’s rampage. Perhaps Camilla the Chicken is Miss Collins, who unfortunately meets her demise at the hands of a falling backboard. Whatever assignments you foresee for rounding out the cast, it would be satisfying to see Carrie show no mercy to her adversaries as she crushes, electrocutes, and burns out the entirety of the school, but in this case, with less gore. Also, seeing the Muppets navigate a Brian De Palma universe would be worth the price of admission alone. “Jesus loves everybody, Momma” …especially the Muppets. 2. THE RUNNING MAN Synopsis: In a future dystopian America, a wrongfully accused and convicted policeman gets his shot at freedom when he's forced to participate in a TV game show where convicts called Runners must battle killers for their freedom. To this point, the main crux of my choices has been centered around the terrifying situations the Muppets would occupy in these hypothetical updates to lighten the material. For 1987’s The Running Man , it centers entirely on the sole human participant. Looking back through history, there has been very little crossover between the Muppets and Arnold Schwarzenegger, which seems like an outright crime. On Sesame Street , they did some skits and fake characters based on Arnie, but beyond some mild talk show appearances, there weren’t occasions for them to play off one another. Everything about this matchup is the zenith of what you want: the physical disparity, the vacillation of Arnie between his moods of serious action star and goofy action star, and his one-liners coalescing perfectly in a puppet movie, especially against Fozzie Bear as a sinister Killian, for instance. From the Muppet side, getting to see them use the media for scaremongering as a real insight into the future is how evil puppets should be utilized, perhaps with Statler and Waldorf providing their effervescent commentary and then getting arrested by secret police. Finally, the Swedish Chef ending up as a Stalker against Arnie and his fellow Runners, watching him come to an end while singing about cutting up chickens is why 1980’s action satires exist. We can fight if you disagree. 1. IT Synopsis: In 1960, seven pre-teen outcasts fight an evil demon who poses as the child-killing clown, Pennywise. Thirty years later, they reunite to stop the demon once and for all when it returns to their hometown. Clowns vs. Muppets is a Godzilla vs. Kong-level battle that a reimagining of It can establish for a willing viewing public. Every prior choice on this list has relied on an element of carnage against stuffed toys, but Pennywise’s brutality and comically deranged gore would kick that up to an epic level. Now, there are a few iterations of It , including the recent television series Welcome to Derry , all of which feature our favorite murderous clown and would satisfy the need to see our favorite puppets in his clutches. However, one of our Pennywise portrayers was instrumental in the popularity of another iconic Muppet property: Muppet Treasure Island . No shade to Bill Skarsgård, who has the range to play Pennywise opposite puppets and be silly and sinister, but Tim Curry in the original miniseries could do no wrong. Also, as has been proven through a long career, Curry can sing and dance while being as scary or as goofy as called for in any situation. Finally, the Muppets just feel more appropriate for a 1990s miniseries than the more-cinematic version of Derry as played out in the 2017 film. Even though the Muppets have had some success in the 21st century, their feel of nostalgia is more at home with being on network television.

REACHER: SEASON ONE Starring: Alan Ritchson, Malcolm Goodwin, Willa Fitzgerald, Chris Webster, Maria Sten, Martin Roach, Currie Graham, and Bruce McGill Creator: Nick Santora QUENTIN Generally speaking, Reacher is a standard “solve the murder” show. However, the cast chemistry, literally bone-crunching fight scenes, and dry charisma of Alan Ritchson elevate the predictable story to something that is a lot more fun than it should be. Maybe I just had low expectations. I expected a series like Bosch , a show I always saw ads for while never meeting a person who actually watched it. But what I got was a show like Banshee , a brutal (yet still humorous) under-the-radar show that I can’t wait to turn people on to as we wait for next season. NICK As someone who remembers Alan Ritchson as blockhead linebacker Thad Castle from Blue Mountain State , his casting as Jack Reacher was quite a surprise. However, he manages to bring a stoic mercenary edge to the character that hearkens back to the heyday of 80s action films. This persona is matched with some hard-hitting violence that can come out of nowhere and hit you with a pure rush of adrenaline, but those scenes don’t come frequently enough. It’s almost The Punisher -lite. That said, it’s an easy watch that makes for some good shut-your-brain-off entertainment while doing the character justice.

FROM: SEASON TWO Starring: Harold Perrineau, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Eion Bailey, David Alpay, Elizabeth Saunders, Scott McCord, Ricky He, Chloe Van Landschoot, Pegah Ghafoori, Corteon Moore, Hannah Cheramy, Simon Webster, Avery Konrad, Elizabeth Moy, Deborah Grover, Angela Moore, Kaelen Ohm, A.J. Simmons, and Nathan D. Simmons Creator: John Griffin QUENTIN In my review of Season One, I called From the next Lost . For better or worse, that remains true in Season Two because, much like Lost , it’s starting to pile mysteries, lore, and new characters on top of each other without answering many questions. That’s not necessarily a bad thing if (big IF) they eventually pay off, but it certainly makes this season less propulsive than the first. A few character-driven subplots that aren’t developed enough and abandoned storylines from last season certainly don’t help either. That said, the finale once again sets up a compelling future for the series, and I remain fully engaged.

ABBOTT ELEMENTARY: SEASON FOUR Starring: Quinta Brunson, Tyler James Williams, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Janelle James, Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti, and William Stanford Davis Creator: Quinta Brunson AMARÚ Y’all keep coming back here like my opinion is going to change on Abbott Elementary . I think it’s officially time to declare what we all already know: this show belongs amongst the all-time great television comedies. Yes, being a Black teacher helps, but isn’t connection what fuels the love for entertainment? I will say, I’m not a big fan of mockumentaries, so the fact that Abbott continues to make me laugh, cry, and feel warm and fuzzy while teaching life lessons along the way is astounding. At this rate, I’m guessing my Season Five review will only be five words. I’ll let you ponder that one. KATIE I loved the first three seasons of Abbott Elementary, but this season is definitely the weakest so far. I still love the characters and the cast is faultless, but the humour was very hit or miss, and I found the focus on guest stars frustrating. It meandered until the last few episodes of the season, which managed to recapture its previous heart-warming charm; however, overall, I can count the episodes I found memorable on one hand. I’m glad that it left things on a high, but I really hope the next season is stronger and more consistent. Check out our reviews for Season Three HERE .

THE LOWDOWN: SEASON ONE Starring: Ethan Hawke, Keith David, Kaniehtiio Horn, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Kyle MacLachlan, Scott Shepherd, Macon Blair, Tim Blake Nelson, Tracy Letts, Killer Mike, Cody Lightning, Rafael Casal, Paul Sparks, Peter Dinklage, Graham Greene, Tisha Campbell, and Michael Hitchcock Creator: Sterlin Harjo QUENTIN Though not perfect, mostly due to a central mystery that often falls to the wayside, The Lowdown still works extremely well as a shaggy dog story, effortlessly coasting on a blend of dingy neo-noir vibes that recall Thomas Pynchon, Elmore Leonard, and The Coen Brothers. There are full-throated homages to Inherent Vice , Jackie Brown , and The Big Lebowski (among others), all of which are convincingly brought home by Ethan Hawke’s lived-in performance. The parade of quirky side characters — played by talents ranging from Killer Mike to Peter Dinklage — and the terrific 70s Americana soundtrack only add to the pulpy fun. ROBERT FX has a successful history of producing compelling crime comedies, starting with the underseen Terriers through the prolonged run of Fargo . The Lowdown is the latest, worthy addition to the portfolio, with Ethan Hawke channeling his best combination of The Dude mixed with Fletch as our protagonist investigator. He must deal with power hungry politicians, Southern Belle femme fatales, and encroaching step-parents as he struggles to prove that the truth matters above all else. The acting is superb, the soundtrack is intoxicating, and the visual tapestry of Oklahoman urban griminess adjacent to prairie stillness is striking. Forget it, Jake, it’s chicken-fried Chinatown . AMARÚ Ethan Hawke is having a helluva year playing charming sad sacks, but instead of the mesmerizingly sad lyricist in Blue Moon , he exemplifies the words that Killer Mike so eloquently put together in episode one of The Lowdown : “A white man who cares, the saddest of the bunch.” The show mirrors his character’s wild brand of sadness. Flawed, unpredictable, funny yet mind-blowingly confounding, socially charged, and chaotic, all of which makes for both an entertaining and cautionary tale. Hawke, alongside a star-studded “that person” cast, delivers on a tumultuously fun first season.

YOU: SEASON FIVE Starring: Penn Badgley, Charlotte Ritchie, Griffin Matthews, Anna Camp, Madeline Brewer, and Frankie DeMaio Creators: Greg Berlanti and Sera Gamble QUENTIN With its fifth and final season, Netflix’s You delivers its best offering since Season Two. The fun, almost self-aware campiness pairs perfectly with the genuinely surprising twists and turns, all of which is held together by Penn Badgley’s terrific performance and even more captivating inner monologue (Anna Camp is great in a dual role, too). The showrunners also weave in relevant commentary on the internet’s romanticizing of Joe Goldberg (Badgley), gaslighting, and how influencer culture can sway public opinion. I won’t say it’s a perfect final season of television because there are some pacing issues, but it works perfectly for You ’s brand of addictive non-prestige prestige. ROBERT The final season of You sees protagonist Joe (Penn Badgley) returned to New York after jaunts in California and Europe, but it seems as if he couldn’t really go home again, not like in the first season. After so many deaths and changes of identities, the raindrops dodged in Season Five and the construct of how Joe manages his elusiveness is too far-fetched. Even within the single episodes, we see Joe go from master criminal, ala Walter White, to boneheaded, overly emotional loser and back again. If you like callbacks and Easter eggs, you will be delighted, but you will also find no rooting interest in any character by You ’s conclusion. Check out our reviews for Season Four HERE .

Previous Next January 31, 2024 WRITTEN BY: KATIE The British independent film scene has been facing its fair share of challenges in recent years, for reasons that are both unique to the UK and shared across the global industry. From the uncertainties arising from the use of AI and the lasting impacts of the pandemic to the dominance of Hollywood blockbusters and U.S. streamers, there has never been a harder time for independent and low-budget film to compete with studio-backed productions. Whilst the UK is a major destination for overseas productions and one of the leading cinema markets worldwide, its own independent sector is neglected. Recent times have seen gaps in funding following Brexit, a huge decrease in private investments, soaring production costs, growing difficulty surrounding distribution, and toughening competition because of streamers, resulting in an increasingly risk-averse approach to film-making. This is worrisome, considering that the independent industry is pivotal in elevating up-and-coming talent, promoting innovation, allowing filmmakers to take risks, and sharing diverse stories and characters. On a more personal note, though, as a Brit, these types of films aren't only relatable to me in terms of the accents and locations, but also because of the culture and experiences they represent. Britain is an incredibly diverse place, and because I've lived in London, the Midlands, and the South Coast, I love seeing all the different regional accents and characteristics on the screen, from small seaside towns to estates in East London. What’s more, they utilise realism in a way that has always been distinctive to British films, confronting the viewer with the realities of the characters, which has always drawn me into the story and emotionally engaged me in ways no other films can. But, it's not all doom and gloom, they also have a unique way of combining often dry and sarcastic comedy with darker subject matters, highlighting the bright side of life no matter how bad things get. So, with all that said, I would like to take the opportunity to highlight some of my favourite independent and low-budget British films of recent years, and shed a bit of light on the individual circumstances and unique elements that make them exceptional. These films would not exist without the tenacity, creative freedom, and opportunity offered by independent filmmaking, with many of them being debut works from talented directors, and all of them telling stories that would struggle to find a home in mainstream cinema. DAYS OF THE BAGNOLD SUMMER (2020) Simon Bird’s charming adaptation of Joff Winterhart's acclaimed graphic novel is a poignant coming-of-age dramedy about 15-year-old Daniel Bagnold (Earl Cave) and his mother, Sue (Monica Dolan). After Daniel’s father cancels a highly anticipated trip to visit him and his new partner in Florida, Daniel is forced to spend the summer stuck in the English suburbs, spending his time going to cafes and walking around shabby seaside towns with his mother. The film, which is Bird’s debut feature, is a very low budget production, and Bird has commented that raising the money was extremely difficult, with the constant risk of funding falling through impacting the production. Nonetheless, Bird embraced the spirit of independent filmmaking, saying that he did not approach the story in terms of “appealing to the masses” but wanting to be true to the script and the source material. The result is one of my favourite comfort films, a sweetly intimate tale about two lonely people that captures the beauty in the ordinary and mundane, using creative cinematography, composition, and vibrant colour to show the characters’ emotional journey. A soundtrack by indie band Belle and Sebastian, featuring both vintage and original songs, adds to the endearing and melancholy tone and further elevates the film. SAINT MAUD (2019) Rose Glass’s debut feature, Saint Maud , is a chilling psychological horror film that follows Maud (Morfydd Clark), a recent Catholic convert and private palliative care nurse. After Maud takes a job as a carer for a terminally ill woman, she feels it is her divine mission to steer her away from temptation and ultimately save her soul. Horror and religion are a thematic pairing that I always find interesting, and I especially love how the film explores Maud’s relationship with God through physicality, pain, and pleasure, using body horror and close-ups to sustain a tense, sinister atmosphere that never lets up. It forces the viewer to understand this deeply isolated character and her bewildering motivations. Glass’ exploration of Maud’s interior experience, as well as the exterior perception of her, is infused with a constant sense that she could do something unexpected and unhinged at any moment, all of which is driven by a dedicated performance from Clark. Although Saint Maud was eventually acquired for distribution by A24 and found somewhat mainstream success, Glass relied on limited funding, restricted budgets, and a small cast to create her film. In fact, she worked side jobs to support herself whilst working on the project. Making the best of the tools at her disposal, the film benefits from the naturalistic lighting, small interior sets, and intimate cast. On the whole, Maud’s engrossing personal journey, the poignant religious themes, and Glass’ confident direction solidify Saint Maud as one of my favourite horror films of recent years. ROCKS (2020) Sarah Gavron’s Rocks is a deeply affecting coming-of-age drama about Shola, also known as Rocks, a 15-year-old East Londoner played by the youngest BAFTA Rising Star Award recipient, Bukky Bakray. Rocks comes home from school one day to find an apologetic note from her mother, who has abandoned her during a depressive episode, leaving her to fend for herself and her younger brother. Doing everything possible to avoid being taken into care, Rocks struggles to hold everything together. The production of the film was a grass-roots, collaborative effort. Gavron scouted young, first-time actors from London schools before the script had even been written, and then developed the story in collaboration with the young actors, taking inspiration from their lives and experiences. Much of the dialogue is improvised, and the director filmed in a documentary-style that captures a distinct sense of authenticity and realism. Gavron also set out to create a female-driven set, hiring a crew made up of 75% women, a feat which could only be accomplished in this unique independent context. Despite the difficult circumstances that the film explores, Rocks is an energetic, vibrant, and joyous tale of resilience, and one of the most authentic films I’ve seen about British teenagers. The documentary-style realism and ad-lib dialogue make me feel like I’ve seen these girls walking past me on the street countless times, and the characters feel so lived-in that it’s easy to forget they’re fictional. CENSOR (2021) Writer-director Prano Bailey-Bond's debut feature Censor is a striking psychological horror film that follows Enid (Niamh Algar), a diligent young woman working for the British Board of Film Classification in 1985, the peak of the “video nasty” craze. Enid spends her days watching explicit and excessive content, and when a film she views reminds her of details of her younger sister’s disappearance years before, she embarks on a mission to find the answers she needs. Censor is an incredibly accomplished debut feature that is engaging from beginning to end. One of the reasons I love it so much is its unique visual style. Shot on 35mm film, with some use of Super8 and VHS footage, Censor has a distinctive texture that looks of the time and further draws the viewer into the world that the movie is creating, using shifting aspect ratios to represent Enid’s perception of her reality. The set design is outstanding, especially considering its budget of only £1.6 million, with stunning uses of colour, chiaroscuro-style lighting, and dizzying visuals. BRIAN AND CHARLES (2023) Jim Archer’s feature debut, Brian and Charles , is adapted from David Earl and Chris Hayward’s 2017 short film of the same name, which was preceded by a radio show and live stand-up act. The film follows Brian, played by co-writer David Earl, a lonely inventor who lives in a remote Welsh cottage. Brian creates a robotic companion made of cardboard and an old washing machine, named Charles. The film cleverly leans into the absurdist, logic-defying nature of Charles’ existence, focusing on the meaningful companionship that Brian derives from Charles’ presence. The low-budget production constraints actually lend itself to the film’s unique, home-made vibe. The film is equally as funny as it is heart-warming, exploring authentic human connection and loneliness whilst delivering fantastic physical comedy and oddball charm. The humour is distinctly British, with hilarious mockumentary-style monologues, deadpan dialogue, and an optimistic sensibility. For me, Brian and Charles feels like if a film was a hug, with undeniable, quirky British charm and characters that are hard not to love. SCRAPPER (2023) Charlotte Regan’s debut feature Scrapper tells the story of 12-year-old Georgie, played by first-time actor Lola Campbell, who lives on an east London estate. After her mother passes away, Georgie lies to her school and social services to say that her uncle is caring for her, then continues to secretly live in the flat on her own. She makes money by stealing bikes to sell for parts. When her estranged father Jason (Harris Dickinson) suddenly arrives, he struggles to act like a father, and Georgie refuses to accept him as one. At the heart of this uplifting-yet-touching film is the steadily evolving dynamic between Georgie and Jason that feels very authentic and natural. The pair have fantastic chemistry, and the film is at its best when simply watching them hanging out and trying to understand each other. There is a tendency in social-realist films about the British working class, especially when they focus on kids on council estates, to represent them as bleak, dark, and dangerous places devoid of happiness or vibrancy. Regan completely subverts this idea in an admirable way, imbuing the estate that Georgie calls home with dreamy pastel colour and a sense of loving community, highlighting the joy that can be found there. Sometimes the film does away with realism altogether, with cartoonish cutaways, jump cuts, video game visuals, and even talking spiders, but that enables the film to retain its youthful energy despite its heavy emotional themes. Photo Credits: Photo 1 - Stigma Films; Photo 2 - A24; Photo 3 - Altitude; Photo 4 - Vertigo Releasing; Photo 5 - Focus Features; Photo 6 - Picturehouse Entertainment

TERMINATOR ZERO: SEASON ONE Starring: André Holland, Sonoya Mizuno, Timothy Olyphant, Rosario Dawson, Ann Dowd, Sumalee Montano, Armani Jackson, Gideon Adlon, Carter Rockwood, and Julie Nathanson Creator: Mattson Tomlin QUENTIN I should have known better, but I figured I’d give Terminator Zero a shot, hoping that familiarity with the brand would carry me through my usual aversions to anime. Alas, no success. While I appreciate a fresh take on the Terminator mythos, Zero falls victim to the same cliché aspects that contribute to my dislike of the genre. The animation is fine but visually unappealing, lacking vibrancy as it relies on muted and matte colors, and the extremely generic looking characters are mostly annoying as the story unfolds very slowly. Ugly, slow, and annoying isn’t a great mix. That’s it…I’m officially done with anime.

Previous Next October 26, 2023 WRITTEN BY: QUENTIN It’s October, which means that almost everything out there is focused on Halloween. Scary this, spooky that. For example, there are at least nine new horror movies dropping this month (10, if you count Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour ), not to mention several new horror series releasing across multiple streaming platforms. We aren’t immune either, having already dropped one horror-themed Bitesize Top Five (with another on the way), daily horror recommendations on Twitter (HERE ), and having a few horror-driven articles coming soon. However, a lot of the content out there gets a little repetitive. I mean, how many articles can I read about slasher franchises of the 80s, the brilliance of Get Out , or “Scariest Movies on Netflix?” With that in mind, I wanted to go in a bit of a different direction. But first, let me ask you a question... How many times have you been scrolling through a VOD library…or for my fellow old people, rummaging through a DVD bargain bin at Blockbuster…only to come across some cheap, schlocky-looking horror flick that makes you think, “haha, what the hell is this?!” I’m talking about the Sharknado -tier of movies that have titles made up of two random words drawn from a hat. Or movies with a premise so ridiculous, it’s as if a group of stoned writers won the lottery and decided to make one of their wild edible-driven movie ideas a reality for shits and giggs. These are the movies that we always hear about in meme form, but rarely ever from a person who has actually seen them. This is where I come in. I’ve taken the time to watch seven such movies, doing the legwork to check out what’s actually behind the most ridiculous loglines, pun-tastic titles, and grindhouse artwork I could find. Are they good? Bad? So bad they’re good? For better or worse, you're gonna learn today… FRANKENHOOKER (1990) Synopsis : A medical student sets out to recreate his fiancée, who was tragically decapitated in a lawnmower accident, by building her a new body made of Manhattan prostitutes. With Frankenhooker being the oldest movie on this list, it’s hard to tell if its cheesiness stems from an effort to be cheesy or just because it’s over 30 years old. To be fair, it’s probably a little column A, a little column B; either way, it has the same dated cheesiness as 80s classics (I’m using the term loosely) Once Bitten and Re-Animator . For me, I loved those movies growing up, so the mere fact that Frankenhooker stirred up feelings of nostalgia even though I had never seen it gives it a leg up. On top of that, it has some great 80s nonsense: a buff, mustachioed pimp named Zorro (Joseph Gonzalez) wearing a Mr. T starter kit of gold chains? Check. Absurd practical effects? Double check. More T&A than you can shake a stick at, including 1988’s Penthouse Pet of the Year as the titular character? 36Triple-D check. All of this is to say that 13-year-old Q would have loved this ridiculous take on Weird Science and Frankenstein , which means that 42-year-old Q has a bit of a soft spot for it too. RUBBER (2010) Synopsis : A homicidal car tire, discovering it has destructive psionic power, sets its sights on a desert town once a mysterious woman becomes its obsession. On one hand, I respect writer-director Quentin Dupieux for coming up with an original (if silly) idea and just going for it. On the other hand, this surprisingly meta movie is a total bore. There is little to no actual storyline, and the basic message seems to be that movie fans are wasting their time by watching movies that have “no reason.” Granted, that’s not exactly inaccurate, but relaying that message through a dumb movie seems a little hypocritical. Why are you biting the hand that feeds you, Dupieux? That aside, it plays like a darkly malicious Wall-E , with almost no dialogue outside of the random meta asides. I dunno…. I just think that a movie about a killer tire should have a little fun with the premise, and this movie, seemingly by design, is self-deprecating from the get-go. If the filmmakers don’t think I should watch their movie, then what are we even doing here? ZOMBEAVERS (2014) Synopsis: A fun weekend turns into madness and horror for a bunch of college kids looking for fun in a beaver infested swamp. Two things caught me by surprise when starting this movie: 1… I didn’t realize it was a Universal Studios joint. I thought it was a low-budget indie, so seeing a major studio logo threw me for a minute. And 2… the opening scene features Bill Burr and John Mayer (yes, that John Mayer). I thought for sure I had the wrong movie. But nope! And the surprises didn’t stop there. Zombeavers is actually a pretty solid parody of the “kids at the cabin” horror genre. Granted, it’s not near as sharp as The Cabin in the Woods , but all the familiar characters and tropes are here and adequately skewered. The local mountain hunter, the jock, the dude who is always in a knit cap, the girl who just wanted to be with her girlfriends after a breakup, the horny slut (I’m not shaming!), beer, drugs, sex, and so on. Plus, as the name would suggest, the movie is completely self-aware, making beaver jokes aplenty and using certain camera angles to accentuate the pun (there are even funny outtakes during the credits). Add in the fact that it goes much further with the simple premise than I expected, Zombeavers is easily the best movie on this list. THE VELOCIPASTOR (2017) Synopsis : After losing his parents, a priest (Greg Cohan) travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas. I’ve been seeing this movie on my various feeds for a while now, so I finally pulled the trigger for this article, for you. Unfortunately, and perhaps expectedly, I was right to keep dodging this drivel. Even at only 68 minutes, it overstays its welcome quickly . For a movie about a guy who turns into a dinosaur like The Incredible Hulk, there is a surprising lack of dinosaur action. And you might be thinking it’s because they couldn’t afford the CGI, which would be fair. However, there is no CGI. It’s a dude in a ridiculous-looking, Party City-level dinosaur costume. I can’t deny I laughed when it first showed up on screen, but that was more disbelief than anything else (I also laughed at cocaine-peddling Christian ninjas). Otherwise, between the unsurprisingly terrible acting, out-of-place punk music needle drops, and taking-themselves-too-seriously-at- not -taking-themselves-too-seriously vibe, it doesn’t hit the self-aware B-movie schlock that it’s going for. SLAXX (2020) Synopsis : When a possessed pair of jeans begins to kill the staff of a trendy clothing store, it is up to Libby (Romane Denis), an idealistic young salesclerk, to stop its bloody rampage. Slaxx is tough to review because it’s certainly not good. However, it is kind of awesome. I mean, it’s about a murderous pair of pants. Going in, like with most of the movies on this list, you’re hoping for, at worst, a so-bad-it’s-good masterpiece. And while masterpiece might be a step too far, I can’t deny that Slaxx is gloriously bad in all the best ways. We’re talking cheesy, over-the-top acting. We’re talking absolutely bonkers death scenes. We’re talking about a cast and crew that are 100% in on the joke. Plus, at only 77 minutes, it’s a fairly breezy watch. It has “future cult classic” written all over it, especially given the timely satire and relatively sharp commentary on corporate responsibility. AFRICAN KUNG-FU NAZIS (2021) Synopsis : A kung fu disciple seeks bloody revenge against Adolf Hitler and his army of goons in Ghana. IMDB lied to me. It identified African Kung-Fu Nazis as a horror action-comedy, but there is no horror here. There are lots of hilariously cartoony blood and gore, but nothing attempting to elicit actual scares. If you were to put Bloodsport , Iron Sky , and the extremely amateur YouTube videos of people doing martial arts in their backyard in a blender, this would be the resulting smoothie. And while I can’t say it’s good or even so-bad-it’s-good, if you can manage to give in to the uber-cheap campiness of it all (it cost $20,000 to make), there are moments of charm to be found. Between the surprisingly great kung-fu choreography, the cast of Africans in whiteface as Nazis, a luchador doing a Macho Man Randy Savage impression, and advertisements for Ghanaian liquor Adonko Bitters being featured prominently in the background, I can’t say I didn’t laugh a few times. But I don’t need to see it again. SLOTHERHOUSE (2023) Synopsis : Emily (Lisa Ambalavanar) wants to be elected as her sorority's president. She adopts a cute sloth, thinking it can become the new mascot and help her win, until a string of fatalities implicates the sloth as the main suspect in the murders. Look, I get that I’m old and curmudgeonly, but Slotherhouse ’s overall Gen Z-ness and CW-style sorority college drama exhausted me almost immediately. It’s a lot of constant cat fighting, mean girls, and “social media is important!” nonsense, all of which plays itself out in the first 15 minutes. Then, a sloth starts using a laptop, Instagram, and taking selfies. I was mentally done quick, fast, and in a hurry. I get that this is a tongue-in-cheek movie about a murderous sloth, but for fuck’s sake is this shit dumb. The acting is crazy bad, the “humor” does not hit at all, and it doesn’t feature any fun kills. It’s just annoying from top to bottom, including a ham-fisted message about why wild animals as pets is a bad idea. All that said, I’m fully aware that it may work better for a younger person (the soundtrack was decent too), but for an old crusty like myself? Nah, dawg.

Previous Next July 12, 2025 After over a decade without a proper film headlining the character and a complete misfire in attempting to launch a cinematic universe, DC Studios, under the new stewardship of James Gunn, is bringing us back to earth with Superman . The first film of the new DCU after the universe launched with Creature Commandos in late 2024. Gunn kicks off with the newest version of the Man of Steel with a stellar cast featuring David Corenswet, Rachel Brosnahan, Nicholas Hoult, Edi Gathegi, and Skyler Gisondo. The Bigger Bite Crew is joined by Blerds N The Hood host Winston A. Marshall and frequent collaborator Shak Lambert to discuss whether or not they think it’s a worthwhile start for DC Studios' cinematic era of Gods & Monsters. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel for all of our latest video content including our interviews, and be sure to give us a thumbs up and comment your thoughts!

REACHER: SEASON TWO Starring: Alan Ritchson, Maria Sten, Serinda Swan, Shaun Sipos, Ferdinand Kingsley, Robert Patrick, and Domenick Lombardozzi Creator: Nick Santora QUENTIN You may recall that I named Reacher one of 2022’s best new series (refresh your memory HERE ). After nearly two years, it’s back…and it’s fine, I suppose. It has the same mix of violence and dry humor, but gone is Alan Ritchson’s charisma and the cast chemistry that made Season One such a delight. Ritchson simply plays the role too…stoically? brooding?...this time around, and it really sucks the air out of the balloon. Plus, the central investigation isn’t as interesting, and while the flashbacks may help with character development, they hurt narrative momentum. It’s still enjoyable, in a beach-read kinda way, but it’s a step backwards.

THE BOYS: SEASON FOUR Starring: Karl Urban, Jack Quaid, Antony Starr, Erin Moriarty, Laz Alonso, Jessie T. Usher, Tomer Capone, Karen Fukahara, Chace Crawford, Claudia Doumit, Nathan Mitchell, Cameron Crovetti, Susan Heyward, Valorie Curry, Colby Minifie, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan Creator: Eric Kripke AMARÚ The first few episodes of The Boys : Season Four lulls you into a sense of normalcy. The episodes move forward with new characters and continuing storylines, but nothing really feels astounding. However, just like the outstandingly nuanced and calculated Sister Sage, played by new series powerhouse Susan Heyward, they are slowly setting pieces on the table to knock you on your ass. Navigating full political commentary without sacrificing any bit of intelligent storytelling, Season Four is the best acted of the series, and it sets up a doozy of a fifth and final season for this modern TV masterpiece. NICK Season Four of The Boys feels like the calm before the storm that will be the final season. That's not to say it's boring, but it's a lot of setup only to scramble everything together in the finale. There are clear highlights (A-Train's (Jessie T. Usher) and Butcher’s (Karl Urban) storylines), but there are other parts that don't quite hit (I struggled to care about Hughie (Jack Quaid) and Annie (Erin Moriarty), and the Gen V connection happens too late). I think creator Eric Kripke is ending things at the right time because I'm starting to see a world where things run out of steam. QUENTIN I think it’s a blessing that The Boys will end with next season. It’s not that Season Four is bad at all; in fact, it’s quite good. It boasts the same violent carnage, dark humor, gory subversiveness, and worthwhile character development that has successfully driven this show to this point. That said, the political satire is getting to be a little too on the nose, and there is some subtle wheel-spinning that feels like light filler at times. All in all, though? Those are minor complaints, and I’m amped for an explosive final go-round that (hopefully) sees the show go out on top. PAIGE For me, The Boys : Season Four is full of highs and lows. On one hand, it lacks story advancement due to unnecessary subplots, which makes the pacing feel a bit off. On the other hand, the superhero series' trademark bloody violence and diabolical what-the-fuck moments are still prominent throughout, keeping it an entertaining watch. However, what really sticks out this season is the commentary on today’s politics and real-world events that ring true in our society. Overall, this season just seemed to be a slow build-up to the insane mayhem that will ensue in the show's final season. ADRIANO The Boys : Season Four is a step down from the beasts of the previous seasons, but it's still an invigorating television season, nonetheless. While some of its shock moments sometimes felt purposeless this time around, and there was maybe too much going on, the show's insanity mixed with its grounded character work and commentary on the current political state is still in full force. The cast is still excellent (Antony Starr is MVP again, but shoutout to Jessie T. Usher), and there were moments when I was genuinely scared, especially with the bleak ending, getting me shaken for what's to come. SHADAN This season of The Boys is the weakest of the four because it’s overstuffed and meandering. I found myself less invested in what is clearly a transitional season before the finale. Still, I had a blast with the shock and awe of it all. The signature style, violence, and gore are plentiful as always, and it kept me engaged enough to anticipate the next surprise. Karl Urban and Antony Starr remain the MVPs of one of the strongest and most underappreciated ensembles on TV, and even when not in top form, you could do much worse than spending time with The Boys. KATIE Although this season of The Boys lacks the momentum and meticulous storytelling of previous seasons, it still manages to showcase bloody, shocking, morbidly funny, carnage-fueled entertainment. Despite its flaws, this season is the tensest yet, with moments that had me fearing for my favourite characters and terrified for what would happen next, which is only exacerbated by the timely political commentary. Plus, the entire cast is incredible, in particular Antony Starr’s phenomenally unnerving performance as Homelander. With this solid setup, I’m looking forward to all this character development and attention to subplots paying off next season.