Previous Next February 9, 2023 WRITTEN BY: ADRIANO The 2023 Sundance Film Festival has wrapped up, and this year, I had the pleasure of attending in person for the first time. There was quite an array of films premiering, from crowd-pleaser comedies to heavy character dramas, and while I only attended four days of the 11-day festival, I was still able to see a nice collection of films. Of course, there were a few movies I wish I had been able to see, like Shortcomings and The Persian Version but I was simply unable to due to time constraints. Still, with this being my first Sundance, I consider it a success. Park City, Utah, is a lovely place full of amazing people, and the experience I had is one I’ll never forget. I can’t wait to return next year! Below, you’ll find my official ranking of everything I was able to see at the 2023 Sundance Film Festival: 9. EILEEN It certainly says something about the quality of films I saw that my least favorite film is one that I don’t even dislike. I just don’t love it. Eileen initially captivated me with its central relationship, which is elevated by the chemistry between and performances of Anne Hathaway and Thomasin McKenzie. The pacing is a little rough, but it’s interesting enough, and it’s complemented with appealing cinematography and a score that I don’t think is getting enough attention. However, the third act takes one of the biggest left turns in recent memory. A single sentence is uttered, and the entire movie shifts completely – not to the point that it makes the movie bad, but it made me wonder, “then why did I watch the first two acts?” There are ways to go from tender to intense in an organic way, but this movie doesn’t pull it off. Starring: Thomasin McKenzie, Anne Hathaway, and Shea Whigham Director: William Oldroyd Release Date: TBD 8. MAGAZINE DREAMS Before I get into my issues with Magazine Dreams , let me get this out first: Jonathan Majors is fantastic. He alone is worth the price of admission because he’s so committed to the role of a broken man constantly pushing himself closer to the edge of his own sanity. He pulls it off in a way that’s mortifying while still managing to keep you on his side. The movie itself does a good job of making things uncomfortable yet entertaining, but unfortunately, it never rises to Majors’ level despite director Elijah Bynum setting a tone that feels like Taxi Driver meets Whiplash . The film’s main failing comes from the script. There are too many moments where Bynum was seemingly going for disturbing, yet they wound up being unintentionally funny. I also don’t think the results of all the bad hands dealt to Majors’ character were organic, so it had me questioning a lot of the extreme choices he made in the final act. Honestly, if it weren’t for Majors giving a career-best performance, I might’ve started laughing at a lot of the creative decisions. Still, let me reiterate: Majors made this a mostly worthwhile experience, but I left Magazine Dreams feeling like it’s a wash. Starring: Jonathan Majors, Haley Bennett, Taylour Paige, Michael O’Hearn, Harrison Page, and Harriet Sansom Harris Director: Elijah Bynum Release Date: TBD 7. A THOUSAND AND ONE Now, we start getting to the good stuff! To be frank, I wasn’t planning to watch A Thousand and One simply because it wasn’t on my radar, so I went in completely blind. At the start, I was unimpressed, with thoughts of “oh boy” and “I’ve seen this before” crossing my mind. It also didn’t help that there are plenty of moments throughout where you can tell this is A.V. Rockwell’s directorial debut, especially with the editing choices. However, fairly quickly, I got much more emotionally invested in what was happening on screen, and by the end, I was devastated. Ultimately, this film rides on the shoulders of Teyana Taylor’s performance, and never once in the entire film does she miss a beat as a poor woman navigating obstacle after obstacle. There is a twist at the end that I thought was about to ruin everything, but Rockwell managed to turn it into one of the most powerful finales I could have asked for. Starring: Teyana Taylor, William Catlett, Josiah Cross, Aaron Kingsley Adetola, and Aven Courtney Director: A.V. Rockwell Release Date: March 31, 2023 6. CAT PERSON Cat Person is inevitably going to be divisive, but I come down on the positive side. I can certainly see where some criticisms are coming from because it does ultimately go off the rails while featuring some questionable editing choices. Still, I was quite into the anti-chemistry that Emilia Jones and Nicholas Braun have together. From the get-go, you just feel that these two characters do not belong together, which pushes itself to its logical conclusion in ways that are both nightmarish and very real. Since I didn’t read the short story this movie is based on, I can’t make comparative statements in that regard; however, the movie succeeds in examining modern relationships and how they are intertwined with toxic masculinity. It’s told in ways that are uncomfortably frightening in one moment and gut-busting hilarious in the next. It won’t work for everybody, but this has stuck with me ever since I saw it. Starring: Emilia Jones, Nicholas Braun, Geraldine Viswanathan, Hope Davis, Fred Melamed, and Isabella Rossellini Director: Susanna Fogel Release Date: TBD 5. THEATER CAMP If I’m being honest, I don’t have anything deep to say about Theater Camp . I just loved it, plain and simple. It’s a light-hearted film that only wants you to have a good time, which it definitely succeeds at. I was laughing constantly throughout the film, thanks not only to the funny writing, but also the cast. The kids especially are hysterical. That said, I was a theater kid growing up, so there are a lot of inside jokes for people like me. I would recommend this movie to everyone, though. Even the ending, which is so cheesy, really works to give a nice finale that tugs at the heartstrings. Overall, Theater Camp was amongst the most endearing films at the festival. Starring: Molly Gordon, Ben Platt, Noah Galvin, Jimmy Tatro, Patti Harrison, Ayo Edebiri, Amy Sedaris, Caroline Aaron, Nathan Lee Graham, Owen Thiele, Alan Kim, Kyndra Sanchez, Luke Islam, Bailee Bonick, and Alexander Bello Director: Molly Gordon and Nick Lieberman Release Date: TBD 4. JOYLAND The first film I saw at the festival was probably the toughest watch, and I mean that in all the best ways possible. Initially, I was in the headspace of “why am I watching this?” before it quickly reveals itself to be a harrowing character study of a trio of characters: Haider (played incredibly by Ali Junejo), his wife (a scene stealing Rasti Farooq), and his transgender boss & love interest (Alina Khan). The film explores queer identity in Pakistan as well as generational and cultural trauma. By the end, it punched me square in the gut thanks to the outstanding screenplay by Maggie Briggs and director Sam Sadiq. I also can’t forget to mention just how amazing the cinematography by Joe Saade is. Starring: Ali Junejo, Rasti Farooq, Alina Khan, Sarwat Gilani, Salmaan Peerzada, Sohail Sameer, and Sania Saeed Director: Saim Sadiq Release Date: TBD 3. FLORA AND SON The final film I saw at Sundance was also my most anticipated of the festival. Thankfully, it did not disappoint. I’m a huge fan of director John Carney, and once again, he dives into the idea that music can heal broken relationships and yourself, albeit not in ways that exceed his previous efforts. That said, Flora and Son is still a lovely film with a really strong heart. By the end, I think I fell in love with Eve Hewson. She oozes so much charm and likability that even the crassest lines come off as endearing. The relationship between her character and her character’s son is definitely the highlight, starting initially as a toxic bond that eventually makes way for love in a way that only Carney is capable of pulling off. Starring: Eve Hewson, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Orén Kinlan, and Jack Reynor Director: John Carney Release Date: TBD 2. RYE LANE Rye Lane is, far and away, the most unique film I saw at Sundance. The deceptively simple premise makes way for director Raine Allen Miller to create some of the most interesting directorial choices imaginable. It’s a movie filled to the brim with style and creativity, not to mention one hilarious cameo that I didn’t even pick up on until the second shot. By the way, did I mention that this is Allen Miller’s directorial debut? It’s tremendous. David Johnson and Vivian Oparah make for an endearing lead duo because their chemistry is as palpable as it is hilarious. This movie will make you laugh, not just because of the obvious jokes, but also the background gags, subtle jabs, and blink-and-you'll-miss-it references that Allen Miller placed throughout the film. Truly, it’s a delightful film that, if it wasn’t for one other film I saw, would’ve easily been my favorite of the festival. Starring: David Jonsson and Vivian Oparah Director: Raine Allen Miller Release Date: March 31, 2023 1. PAST LIVES I was lucky enough to be at the premiere for this film, and if it hadn’t been for the fact that I ran straight from this to Magazine Dreams , I would’ve joined in giving Past Lives the big standing ovation it deserves. I was genuinely blown away by the poignancy of this film. It tackles themes of cultural differences, but in a more personal way by examining how human beings seek connection to one another and handle fate. Absolute kudos to writer/director Celine Song on her breathtaking accomplishment here, as well as to the spectacular cast, led to perfection by Greta Lee and Teo Yoo. The final scene between those two is something that I will not soon forget, and it struck such a nerve in me that I was both heartbroken and relieved at the same time. A perfect movie, truly. Starring: Greta Lee, Teo Yoo, and John Magaro Director: Celine Song Release Date: TBD Photo Credits: Sundance Film Festival

Previous Next September 18, 2025 WRITTEN BY: QUENTIN It’s film fest season, and I’m back at it! While covering Fantasy Filmfest 39, I watched 30 movies in eight days, many of which were also part of the film programs at Berlin, Cannes, Venice, and Toronto International Film Festivals. That just goes to show that, although it might not get much recognition outside of Germany, this is a banger of a film festival, especially for genre fans. Starting in 1987, Fantasy Filmfest is an annual international film festival that is (mostly) simultaneously held across seven major German cities in September, focusing on thriller, horror, sci-fi, and more. In addition to the core festival, there is also Fantasy Filmfest: White Nights (a two-day festival in February) and Fantasy Filmfest: Nights (a four-day festival in April). Check out the festival’s mission statement: Pairing intense horror films with breathtaking thrillers, obscure science-fiction tales, and heartfelt dramas, Fantasy Filmfest remains THE alternative to superhero heavy mainstream cinema. At Fantasy Filmfest, fantasy does not mean dragons, elves, and magical forests, but stands for creativity, innovation, and absurdity. Fantasy Filmfest celebrates the oddball, the obnoxious, and the challenging with its program of bold and striking films. It features all those quiet, loud, and quirky nuances that are often overlooked by the profit-oriented film industry. Full of (fake) blood, sweat, and tears, Fantasy Filmfest simply stands for one thing: films that are fantastic! Over the years, Fantasy Filmfest has been lucky enough to debut some bonafide classics, including the world premiere of The Boondock Saints , the German premieres of Final Destination and Pulp Fiction , and the European premiere of Saw . Did Fantasy Filmfest show any future classics this year? Read through my ranked list and find out! 30. MAN FINDS TAPE Everyone has their broadly biased loves and hates when it comes to movies. Some people love all heist movies; some people hate all horror movies — that’s just the way it is. With that in mind, I know that this review of Man Finds Tape is extremely unfair because a few of my broadly biased hates are found footage, fake documentaries, and using “screen videos” from a cell phone. Man Finds Tape uses every single one of those filmmaking approaches, and despite being just 84 minutes, it felt like forever. I legitimately almost walked out. 29. NIGHTMARE BUGS Truth be told, I probably should have skipped Nightmare Bugs . However, when covering a film festival, you try to see as much as possible in the name of discovery, even if you know it won’t be for you. As it stands, I’ve long known anime isn’t for me, so this is yet another unfair review. It’s fine, I guess? I don’t know. The artwork, especially on the monsters, is really well done, but as much as I tried, I just couldn’t get myself invested in the story. Will true anime fans enjoy it? Maybe? I honestly have no idea. Sorry, but I’m of no help here. 28. HER WILL BE DONE Her Will be Done plays a little like if Call Me by Your Name was a Polish folk horror, with a dash of Stephen King’s Carrie thrown in for good measure. I have no doubt that there is an audience for this movie, but I’m not it since it’s another farmhouse horror, a la The Witch , that relies more on atmosphere, production design, and moody vibes than actual story. It’s just a slog of a movie that I struggled to stay awake during. However, I fully admit that could be a “me” thing since I seem to have this issue with a lot of similar movies. Maybe judge this one for yourself. 27. THE THINGS YOU KILL I’ve never been a big fan of director David Lynch, so when things are described as Lynchian, it’s not exactly a selling point. Furthermore, Lynchian surrealism is hard enough to understand in English, so watching it through subtitles can make it doubly confusing. The Things You Kill is exactly that — an extremely slow, very Lynchian tale about a man dealing with generational inner darkness and feelings of inadequacy in a patriarchal society. It’s the type of movie whose meaning I needed to clarify after the fact, and honestly, the explanation I found on Google was far more interesting than the actual movie I had just watched. 26. CRUSHED If one were to check out Crushed based solely on the appealing, almost family-friendly poster, that person would be in for a rude awakening because the subject matter at play here, which includes pedophilia and cruelty to animals, makes for an extremely uncomfortable viewing experience. And while I understand that showing the ultimate depths of humanity’s darkness is meant to really drive home Pastor Daniel’s (Steve Oram) crisis of faith, as a non-religious person, I just couldn’t relate to or invest myself in his inner turmoil, leaving me with the depravity but no thought-provoking moral conflict. 25. ODYSSEY Odyssey is clearly going for something akin to Uncut Gems , but it struggles to maintain the audience’s interest because it fails to craft a compelling central character or tangible stakes. You’re essentially watching an insecure but egotistical real estate agent have the worst week of her life, but there is no true intrigue to the undercooked issues she is dealing with. So, by the time the out-of-nowhere (albeit well-done) finale of violence starts, you’re already checked out. Credit given where credit is due, though: Polly Maberly gives a great lead performance because I hated her character. 24. NO ONE WILL KNOW Movies about ill-gained lottery tickets aren’t new, with Finder’s Fee and Your Lucky Day both coming to mind. Unfortunately, if you’ve seen either of those two movies, No One Will Know doesn’t offer much of a fresh perspective. Underwritten characters blend into a confusing story structure built on alternate viewpoints of single incidents and cutaway scenes depicting the various lies being ginning up. Granted, maybe something was lost in the subtitles, but the repetitive looping aspect of the narrative is extremely frustrating, even preventing the viewer from investing in the most basic “what would you do?” aspect of a story like this. 23. DOG OF GOD If you go into Dog of God expecting the next Flow since both are animated films from Latvia, let me stop you right there. This movie could not be more different, with the only shared aspect between the two being beautiful animation (rotoscoping, in this instance). That aside, Dog of God is sure to be divisive. Hell, I’m internally divided. On one hand, I have no idea what I just watched or the point of the story. On the other hand, I was too captivated by the borderline pornographic imagery on screen to look away. It’s a scene, man. 22. SWORD OF VENGEANCE When your poster advertises “ Mad Max meets Highlander ,” you’re kinda setting yourself up for failure because that is an almost impossible hype line to live up to. Sadly, Sword of Vengeance does indeed fail to rise to the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I can see where the comparisons make some sense, but they are extremely superficial and mostly applicable to the world-building done here. Otherwise, Vengeance lacks exciting action, charismatic characters, or a compelling narrative. If you squint, you can see a bit of the two classics it was compared to, but it’s Fury Road with no fury and Highlander with paltry highs. 21. THE HOME (HEMMET) If not for Anki Lidén’s performance, I’m not sure much would be memorable about The Home (not the same as The Home with Pete Davidson, see below). Overall, this is a by-the-book possession flick blended with a story about dementia and abuse. However, writer-director Mattias Johansson Skoglund never links these ideas in a way that is wholly satisfying, and the things happening on screen don’t always make sense; or worse, they are unnecessary diversions. On the plus side, Skoglund does a solid job of creating an unsettling atmosphere (even more than he establishes legitimate scares, frankly), although that could be on me since I think old people are creepy. 20. ROQIA Of all the horror subgenres, exorcisms are the most tired. With that in mind, I appreciate that director Yanis Koussim does something rather fresh with the idea. By using possession to explore Islamic radicalism instead of the typical Catholic good v. demonic evil story, we are given a unique perspective with cultural relevance, even if the film ultimately succumbs to usual tropes. That said, while there is an unnerving atmosphere throughout, it’s painfully slow, which surely isn’t helped by the subtitles. One prayer is constantly repeated by the exorcist, so it became so much redundant reading that it completely pulled me out of the experience. 19. NINA Nina , a Spanish thriller, does a terrific job of evoking the atmosphere of neo-noir and European westerns of the 70s through its score, production value, and set and costume designs. The performances are no slouch either, especially Patricia López Arnaiz. However, the pacing is a bit too languid to truly capture the audience in the early going. In fact, I was never fully engaged until a reveal around the midway point, which results in everything that came before feeling like an unnecessary prologue. Following said reveal, the film re-establishes its purpose, causing viewers to lean forward in their seats with more interest. Sadly, it’s too little, too late. 18. THE HOME While The Home has plenty of gore, semi-effective jump scares, and an excellent symphony of violence in the final 10 minutes, it overall falters due to extremely sluggish pacing and a general feeling of cheapness. I’m honestly surprised this wasn’t released directly to Shudder, but I guess Miramax figured Pete Davidson was a box office draw. Speaking of Davidson, he’s not exactly miscast, but his character here is basically the same as his characters in Big Time Adolescence and The King of Staten Island , which makes this performance little more than adequate for horror. Overall, this might have worked better as an episode of Tales from the Crypt . 17. WE BURY THE DEAD We Bury the Dead does a decent job of creating a zombie world with genuinely fresh rules, but writer-director Zak Hilditch buries those rules under the same ol’ zombie movie tropes we’ve seen time and time again. He also doesn’t flesh out Ava (Daisy Ridley) enough to truly hook the viewer, leaving her journey mostly superficial and wavetop to the point where her climactic moment — the entire point of the story — comes and goes without much catharsis or resolution. Hilditch does well as the director, demonstrating a good eye and getting great performances from his cast, but his script sinks the ship a bit. 16. DEATHSTALKER As a big fan of Steven Kostanski’s 80s tributes Psycho Goreman and Frankie Freako , not to mention having an affinity for old-school sword-and-sorcery movies, I was super excited for Deathstalker . On the surface, it has everything I’d want in a modern homage to movies like Krull : terrific practical effects, lovingly shoddy visual effects, fantastic creature design, and self-aware weirdness. So, I’m puzzled as to why I found it so flat and (mostly) lacking in fun. It’s almost like Kostanski is showing too much reverence for the genre, so it veers into being too self-serious. Perhaps this is an expectations problem, and a second viewing is needed. 16. OTHER Other , a familiar tale about a woman returning to the ancestral home after the death of a parent to discover strange occurrences, manages to keep viewers on their toes by never showing its hand until the very end. Director David Moreau uses a plethora of tricks — some good, some less so — to keep the mystery pumping, most notably by keeping the things that go bump in the night relegated to the shadows and out-of-focus background. Unfortunately, once the movie flips over its cards, it does so with such inelegance that it all ends up feeling a bit silly. 14. HONEY BUNCH While there aren’t many scares in Honey Bunch , the beautifully mesmerizing 70s pastiche, to include some tremendous needle drops, helped keep me engaged even through the film’s slower moments. It certainly has horror-ish elements, but it’s more like directors Madeleine Sims-Fewer and Dusty Mancinelli first crafted an oddball love story about what it means to be devoted to one’s partner, then very lightly sprinkled it with some suspense-thriller dust. Honey Bunch is ultimately better from the macro view once all is said and done than the micro view while you’re in it, but its dreamlike qualities had me entranced, nonetheless. Strangely, its whole vibe reminded me of The Lobster . 13. OMNISCIENT READER: THE PROPHECY If you put Scott Pilgrim vs. the World , Squid Game , and a bit of Pixels into a blender, you’d end up with something close to Omniscient Reader: The Prophecy , which is a lot of fun until it really isn’t. Despite the hit-and-miss CGI, an approach that skews a tad younger than I’d like, and some too-on-the-nose messaging, each developing video game-like scenario creates genuine moments of tension and decent action. However, the third act goes off the rails by mostly tossing aside all the elements that made the story intriguing in favor of throw-it-at-the-wall action noise and poor explanations. 12. EXIT 8 Unbeknownst to me, Exit 8 is based on a video game. I can 100 percent see how the game — a psychological horror walking simulator — would be equally addictive and frustrating, especially in VR. In fact, the movie adaptation does a great job of capturing the overall feeling of a VR game, particularly with the shot framing. However, as a non-participatory viewer, it becomes monotonous rather quickly despite director Genki Kawamura doing his best to switch things up around the halfway point. Still, Exit 8 is mostly effective, flaws and all, but it might have been better as an episode of an anthology series. 11. SWEETNESS Sweetness is essentially a modern update to Stephen King’s Misery , specifically speaking on the current era of squads like Swifties and The BeyHive, where pop stars have reached near God-like status complete with faithful and extremely protective followings. As such, Sweetness naturally has moments of young adult, Gen Z cringe; however, they are offset by a willingness to go much darker than one might initially expect. For the most part, the movie — built on a tight-rope performance from young Kate Hallett — works, aside from the ending, which delivers a message that I don’t ultimately love. 10. MARCO Marco is almost two movies in one. The first is an over-the-top action-revenge movie that is so ludicrously absurd that it feels like an SNL skit at times. I mean that in the best way possible. The violence, music, choreography, and stylish direction are the perfect amount of Bollywood bonkers. That movie is about 60 minutes long. The second movie — the one that surrounds the first one — is an additional 90 minutes of over-written and unnecessary exposition. Overall, Marco is like Kill meets RRR , and despite me wishing it was shorter, the ridiculous action sequences are just too damn entertaining. 9. BAMBOO REVENGE Thematically similar to movies like Violation and Promising Young Woman , Bamboo Revenge is an imperfect but tight French thriller. There are a few moments where you need to maybe overlook a small detail to simply let the story unfold, but those moments don’t take away from the intriguing mystery at the film’s core. That is particularly true since there really isn’t time to get bogged down in the minutia given the brisk 87-minute runtime. Though I had my predictions — some right, some wrong — I was fully invested from beginning to end, and for a foreign indie thriller this lean, what more can you ask for? 8. BONE LAKE Bone Lake generally lives up to the expectations set by the posters and the fact that it’s a sex-driven horror thriller with a puntastic title, delivering suspense, thrills, and laughs throughout its brisk runtime. The tension, sexual and otherwise, is palpable, and while there certainly is a feeling of erotic-thriller hotness, director Mercedes Bryce Morgan manages to create that atmosphere without being gratuitous (opening scene aside). Personally, I wouldn’t have minded if it went a little harder and got a little steamier, but I can’t complain with what I was ultimately given. Bone Lake is a wickedly fun ride. 7. HI-FIVE Seemingly trying to recapture the vibe of early 2000s Marvel, Hi-Five is a Korean throwback to fun and funny superhero comedies like Tim Story’s Fantastic Four . Suffice it to say, it’s silly, but only in the most charming ways. And the special effects aren’t great, but that adds to the nostalgic charm. More importantly, though, the characters are engaging, the humor works (even through subtitles), and the soundtrack is full of 80s bangers. Look, I get comparing Hi-Five to Fantastic Four might not be a selling point, but it hearkens back to when superhero movies were a mostly light-hearted good time. I’d watch a sequel. 6. SLANTED Skillfully blending Mean Girls with The Substance , Slanted is a clever satire about internalized racism and self-acceptance in the face of society’s treatment of minorities. It is, admittedly, a little too-on-the-nose and heavy-handed in its messaging; however, considering this likely was made for a teen audience, that obviousness can easily be forgiven because of how funny, sharp, somewhat heartbreaking, and perhaps most importantly, timely it all is. In her feature debut, writer-director Amy Wang announces herself as someone to keep an eye on, and I would love to see what she does with something a little more grown up. 5. WELCOME HOME BABY Though it may be yet another movie about a woman who must return to the ancestral home following the death of a parent only to discover strange occurrences, I immediately bought into what Welcome Home Baby was selling. That is mostly thanks to a tremendous lead performance from Julia Franz Richter, who effortlessly pulls you into her unraveling as unexplainable happenings and creepy interactions continue to mount. Unfortunately, I can’t really discuss the overall themes and the metaphor at play without getting into spoiler territory, and this absolutely is a movie you should walk into blind. I’ll just say… Welcome Home Baby was a surprising and welcome discovery. 4. THE PIANO ACCIDENT With The Piano Accident , director Quentin Dupieux has crafted a brilliant satire on the emptiness of internet fame, particularly as it relates to the Jackass -style videos that barter self-harm for celebrity status. But as great as his script is, it all hangs on the performance of Adèle Exarchopoulos as Magalie, an entitled, egotistical, and despicable human being that you can’t help but be drawn to and even feel sympathy for. Admittedly, I wonder to what degree hearing her awfulness in beautiful French softens her edges a bit, but the irreverently light-hearted tone that Dupieux peddles creates the same effect. This is a black comedy winner. 3. THE TOXIC AVENGER This remake of The Toxic Avenger is a loving homage and tribute to Troma Entertainment and weird 80s B-movies (including the original The Toxic Avenger , obviously) much in the way that Black Dynamite is a love letter to blaxploitation movies of the 70s. It features all the hallmarks of the era’s cult classics: hilarious absurdity, buckets of blood and gore, a terrifically warped charm, and unparalleled self-awareness. The entire cast, but especially Kevin Bacon and Elijah Wood, know exactly what kind of movie they are making, and if director Macon Blair can maintain this level of commitment in potential sequels, I’ll watch every goofy-ass chapter. 2. CODE 3 Here's something I didn’t expect to have on my 2025 movie Bingo card: Code 3 is a gem of a movie and one of the year’s biggest surprises. Despite being marketed as a straight comedy, this is anything but. Yes, there are dark laughs, but only in the way that one must laugh in the face of tragedy just to get through the day. Otherwise, this is an honest and harrowing tribute to paramedics and a scathing indictment of the American healthcare system. It’s heartfelt, heartbreaking, and surprisingly moving, all the more shocking given the film’s overly photoshopped travesty of a poster. 1. GOOD BOY Weapons and its director, Zach Cregger, have (rightfully) dominated the horror conversation recently, but both director Ben Leonberg and his feature debut, Good Boy , need to be mentioned right alongside them. Seriously, and surprisingly, this is one of the best and most creative horror movies in years thanks to Leonberg’s brilliantly novel direction and — I’m not even joking — perhaps the best performance of the year. Yes, I’m talking about Indy the Dog. I felt every bit of the pup’s fear, confusion, anguish, and concern, which drives an effectively innovative horror experience that is spookily disorienting and oddly heartfelt. Good boy!? Very good boy…

Previous Next April 8, 2026 Robert Pattinson and Zendaya are working together a lot this year, and their first collaboration could be the most talked about film of 2026. Kristoffer Borgli's The Drama has a lot it wants to say, and so do we. Join Nick, Adriano, Amarú, and returning guest Jeannine Brice as they dive into the societal and comedic themes that Borgli explores in his unorthodox rom-com. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel for all of our latest video content including our interviews, and be sure to give us a thumbs up and comment your thoughts!

SEXY BEAST: SEASON ONE Starring: James McArdle, Emun Elliott, Sarah Greene, Ralph Brown, Tamsin Greig, and Stephen Moyer Creator: Michael Caleo QUENTIN In a world where Jonathan Glazer’s film Sexy Beast doesn’t exist, Paramount+’s Sexy Beast (prequel) series might have been, at least, okay as a new crime tale. As it stands, though, that terrific film does exist, and this show cannot get out of its tremendous shadow. The story, one of British gangsters gangsterin’, is slow-moving, but might have been enough to capture interest. However, when you’re constantly thinking about how stars James McArdle, Emun Elliott, and Stephen Moyer are no Ray Winstone, Ben Kingsley (who was Oscar-nominated for his role in the movie), and Ian McShane, respectively, it really puts a damper on things.

Previous Next Franchises like Star Wars, Jurassic Park, the MCU, and countless others have been going steady for quite some time. Who started things off the best, though? That's what we aim to determine as the Bitesize crew has put their brains together to compile Bitesize Breakdown's consensus Top Five Franchise Starters. Each writer ranks their top 15 films in the category. Those lists are then weighted on a reverse point system. After all the points are tallied up, the entries with the most total points make up the Bitesize Top Five. 5. THE GODFATHER Praising The Godfather is seemingly tiring, and yet there's so much to praise. The film is consistently considered one of, if not the , greatest film ever made, and it is the quintessential American epic, supercharging the career of now legendary filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola. The iconic nature of The Godfather is seemingly universal. Whether it's the characters, the quotes, or the music, this movie has grabbed everyone in some small way, and it was so successful that it became a trilogy in the years to come (I'd argue that The Godfather Part II is even better). I remember first watching the film in high school, knowing the bar that was set and preparing to be underwhelmed by it. Lo and behold, beyond the striking filmmaking and its approach to the mafia, I was mostly shocked by just how entertaining it is. I imagine the conversation on this movie will continue to be had as long as there are movies. - Adriano 4. THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING Peter Jackson’s The Fellowship of the Ring took on the insurmountable task of introducing J.R.R. Tolkien’s fantasy epic, The Lord of the Rings , to cinema-going audiences. The first installment in a groundbreaking trilogy, it can stand alone, but ultimately opens the door to the greatest fantasy films ever made, renowned for being meticulously crafted and full of dedicated performances and characters who bring the screen to life. This film transformed my perspective on the fantasy genre, which I had previously struggled to enjoy and truly invest in due to the plethora of characters, dense mythology, and location names I’d never remember. But Fellowship showed that fantasy storytelling can be detailed, emotionally engaging, humorous, exciting, heartfelt, visually stunning, and immersive all at the same time. - Katie 3. JURASSIC PARK Everyone loves dinosaurs. It’s an undeniable fact, and one that has remained true for as long as the Jurassic Park franchise has been going. With as many sequels as it has spawned, though (including the arguably underrated III ), it would be difficult to argue that any of them fully live up to the majesty of Steven Spielberg’s 1993 classic. The adaptation of Michael Crichton's bestseller still inspires much awe, wonder, and fear more than 30 years later thanks to Dean Cundey’s beautifully composed photography, the masterful combination of Stan Winston’s practical animatronics and ILM’s groundbreaking visual effects, an unforgettable cast of characters led by the likes of Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and Sir Richard Attenborough, and of course, one of the most iconic and beloved scores in John Williams’ storied career. We’ll see how new director Gareth Edwards fares with Jurassic World Rebirth (which original co-writer David Koepp wrote), but no matter what, Jurassic Park will always be lightning in a bottle. - Bode 2. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK Even in the 80s, moviegoers were not familiar with the adventure serials of the ‘30s, so finding an interesting means to modernize classic stories was George Lucas and Steven Spielberg’s purpose with Raiders of the Lost Ark . They monumentally succeeded as they conceived professor and archaeologist Indiana Jones as a period-specific hero. With Harrison Ford in the role, audiences were swept up in world-spanning escapades with a main character that could fight and teach them about biblical mythology. Like the source material, it was also ripe for further exploration, with more magical items to acquire and more Nazis to be dispatched. Some may prefer The Last Crusade , but Raiders is timeless. - Robert 1. BACK TO THE FUTURE I'm never going to turn down a chance to talk about my favourite film of all time, so I'm glad to see that it ended up #1 on this list (no collusion, I promise). Back to the Future , to me, is the closest thing there is to a perfect film. Not only did this initial entry set the stage for what became the greatest trilogy of all time, it has maintained its quality and relevance. This film came out in 1985 – 40 years ago – and you can still watch it today without relying on nostalgia. You often hear people begging for original ideas that aren't linked to an existing IP. Something fun, exciting, and memorable... Well, perhaps you need to travel back in time to scratch that itch. The clock tower isn't the only place lightning struck. This film is magic. - Nick HONORABLE MENTIONS ALIEN DIE HARD STAR WARS: EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE OCEAN'S ELEVEN SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE

Previous Next September 24, 2025 WRITTEN BY: NICK It’s no secret that TIFF is my favourite festival. Yes, it takes place in my hometown and is the only major festival I've been to, but I like the accessibility and mainstream feel it has. This year was the 50th anniversary, too, so it brought an added layer of coverage and excitement beyond the latest collection of films. Unfortunately, my fourth year covering TIFF faced some challenges, mainly an injury, which limited my slate. I was still able to see a total of 26 films — technically 27 as I checked out a 50th anniversary screening of Jaws on 35mm film, as well. Beyond the films, this year’s highlights included finally meeting the longest tenured member of Bitesize Breakdown , Amarú, in person. Sitting and experiencing the premiere of Wasteman next to stars David Jonsson and Tom Blyth – and having a wonderful chat with Jonsson afterwards. Premieres, Red Carpets, and lots of film conversation with everyone ranging from local press, like Screenfish ’s Steve Norton to Happy Sad Confused ’s Josh Horowitz, to film fans that traveled from afar to see their favourite films and stars made for a great time. There was a wide range of opinions on the nearly 300 films screened, but if you’re wondering what I thought… 26. THE MAN IN MY BASEMENT Maybe I’ve just gotten too used to Willem Dafoe playing outlandish characters, and expected something more in that vein, but I found The Man in My Basement to be a bit of a bore. I can’t put this on the performances of Dafoe or Corey Hawkins because they’re fine, if unspectacular. I just think everything hit a lull following its mysterious setup. It’s not a film devoid of good ideas, it just doesn’t present them in a way that could keep my attention. There’s something here, no doubt, but it needed a lot more work to be brought to fruition. 25. SACRIFICE There’s a lot reminiscent of Triangle of Sadness in the early going of Sacrifice , and although I enjoyed that film, I can’t say the same about this one. It starts strong as a satire on climate change focusing on the arrogance of the wealthy, led by a solid Chris Evans performance; however, once Anya Taylor-Joy's Joan enters the fray, everything falls apart. The early goodwill is undone by the inclusion of cult aspects and what becomes a quite annoying showing from Taylor-Joy. It all boils down to an unsatisfying conclusion that left me wondering what the point of it all was. 24. MOTOR CITY Sure, there are some highlights, good music, and it oozes machismo, but Motor City is a misfire. Though certainly ambitious, the aspect of telling a film practically devoid of dialogue may be its weakest point, as it quickly turns into a gimmick that hurts far more than it helps. It’s as if specific shots and set-pieces were thought of, and then the creative team decided to build a story around that. Like a two-hour highlight reel. This may work for a much shorter film, but at its runtime, Motor City feels like a film that was made out of only its own trailers. 23. GOOD FORTUNE I will preface my review here by saying that I’ve never been a fan of Aziz Ansari, so Good Fortune already had an uphill battle to climb. Even with that caveat, this is still just a run-of-the-mill, relatively forgettable comedy. An entertaining fish-out-of-water performance from Keanu Reeves aside, this just didn’t supply frequent enough laughs, as it's reminiscent of a movie that would have come out in the nineties as opposed to a present day feature. I know we’ve been harping on a return to theatres for studio comedies, but this one would likely have been better left for streaming. 22. BALLAD OF A SMALL PLAYER Coming off of Conclave (my personal favourite film of TIFF 2024), director Edward Berger returns with Ballad of a Small Player, and it’s a big disappointment. Aside from giving Colin Farrell the stage for a reliably terrific performance and being a great showcase for Macau, the film feels kind of hollow. I understood the themes of addiction and temptation, and the search for fulfillment throughout, but the story gets muddled despite a strong and dynamic start. It finds its footing again for the conclusion, but it’s too little too late. Some heavy lifting done by Farrell isn’t enough to salvage Berger’s misstep. 21. EASY’S WALTZ A story set in the underbelly of Las Vegas, written and directed by Nic Pizzolatto of True Detective fame? This definitely should have been more than just “fine,” but it spends its runtime desperately trying to get to a second gear that it never reaches. This is no fault of Vince Vaughn, who gives it his all as a down-on-his-luck crooner and breathes life into Easy’s Waltz . It’s the rest of the film that just kind of coasts along. As fellow Bitesizer Quentin would say, it’s a perfectly cromulent film. Nothing more; nothing less. But with the talent attached, it should have been more. 20. CHRISTY As someone who has remained unconvinced of Sydney Sweeney's dramatic lead potential, Christy is without a doubt her strongest case yet. Sweeney and co-star Ben Foster are both excellent in this, and when the focus is on the relationship of their characters, it's engaging. Unfortunately, the boxing aspect is where things fall short. For as much boxing as there is in the film, the in-ring scenes aren't dynamic in any way, and it leads to weightless fights. A career-best performance for Sweeney, no doubt. But the portrayal of Christy Martin's boxing career deserved more effort. 19. GOOD BOY With a unique premise and Stephen Graham coming off of Adolescence , Good Boy was on my radar fairly early. Although it landed in the middle of the pack for my festival run, it’s not without its positives. Graham and Anson Boone are key among them, as their abilities to give their characters aspects of both villainy and humanity kept me engaged throughout the entire film. As great as both leads are, however, the film’s pacing often betrays them and limits the potential for powerful moments in this character study about rehabilitation. Much like its title, this one is “good” not great. 18. RENTAL FAMILY Brendan Fraser comes across as a very kind and genuine human being, so casting him in Rental Family makes total sense. That doesn’t mean it works, though. Hikari has directed a fairly surface level story that can’t seem to focus itself. It’s a shame, as some of the themes introduced have endless potential, yet the film goes in too many directions to be able to expand on most of them. Fraser is exactly what you want him to be, but it’s the film surrounding him that feels afraid to dive into some of the questions it asks. It would’ve been much more interesting if it did. 17. MILE END KICKS Director Chandler Levack earned tons of recognition from her film I Like Movies, and much of the same directorial qualities are present in Mile End Kicks . It’s another grounded, indie story that is unabashedly Canadian and features an unlikeable protagonist (Grace played by Barbie Ferreira). This seems to be Levack's wheelhouse. Kicks covers all the difficulties of young love. Be it the hypnotism, the bad decisions, the blindness, the manipulation, and of course, the sex. I was increasingly frustrated with Grace's decision-making, but then again, that’s quite authentic to life in your early twenties. Mark Kicks as another lived-in film to add to Levack’s filmography. 16. THE LOST BUS Natural disasters will never stop being good material for exhilarating survival films, and The Lost Bus is yet another example. Director Paul Greengrass brings his signature docu-drama style to the world of wildfires, and it may be his best utilization of it to date. The script has its challenges (particularly in the more grounded moments), but both Matthew McConaughey and America Ferrera make the most of it. I'm not saying this is ground-breaking in any way, but it's a thrilling theatrical experience that yet again makes me wonder why we don’t get more firefighting films. 15. SENTIMENTAL VALUE I'm not sure why Sentimental Value didn’t work as well for me as it did for others. The performances are great, the story is tight and well thought out, and I have no real qualms about Joachim Trier's direction. Yet, I didn’t emotionally connect to this story in any way. Whether it’s the focus on generational trauma, making up for lost time, or simply the bond of family, I never found myself moved. It’s all a fairly mundane affair, and while Trier succeeded in making the characters feel like a real-life fractured family, they just weren’t a family I could fully invest in. 14. SAIPAN Saipan takes a look at a lesser known side of sports, focusing less about what happens on the field and more about how much goes into tournament preparation and the importance of the player-manager relationship. It wipes away the glamour those assume comes with a World Cup to show the grimier side of things. More importantly, it shows the contentious relationship between Roy Keane (Éanna Hardwicke) and manager Mick McCarthy (Steve Coogan), which is a contrast to the simpatico duo these films often showcase. Solid performances, a true story, and a peek behind the curtain make Saipan a nice surprise. 13. MODERN WHORE I’ve been waiting for a feature length version of Modern Whore since seeing the original short film back in 2020. Luckily, director Nicole Bazuin and star Andrea Werhun bring the same charm, comedy, importance, and magic to this feature film. Werhun's magnetic presence instantly pulls you into her story, as she never shies away from the judgement bound to come, nor the intricacies of being a sex worker. Bazuin, for her part, incorporates the animation, cut-scenes, and graphics that made the short films work so well, while adding interviews with those closest to Andrea, which gives the film an added personal element. Worth the wait. 12. THE SECRET AGENT The biggest success of The Secret Agent is in its craftsmanship. Director Kleber Mendonça Filho has recreated 1970s Brazil with impressive authenticity, and it plays as important a role as any character in the film. Well, aside from Wagner Moura's Marcelo. Moura gets to show off leading man capabilities here and keeps you engaged throughout the (deliberately) slower paced film. That pacing can be tough, but along with some other aspects of the film, it makes sense the further the story goes. By its end you have an impressive piece of filmmaking that makes up for a lack of excitement with detail and structure. 11. THE SMASHING MACHINE Despite a couple of teases, I’ve been waiting to see what Dwayne Johnson can do in a serious film. Well, The Smashing Machine is his chance, and he shows how much potential is there. Going into the film, I questioned why Mark Kerr (played here by Johnson) deserved a biopic, and after leaving the film… I still question why Mark Kerr deserved a biopic. As a vehicle for Johnson to finally spread his wings, it’s a great first step. As a sports biopic, it’s fine, but an echo of countless other stories within the MMA world. Now let’s see if Johnson can keep this up. 10. YOU HAD TO BE THERE: HOW THE TORONTO GODSPELL IGNITED THE COMEDY REVOLUTION, SPREAD LOVE & OVERALLS, AND CREATED A COMMUNITY THAT CHANGED THE WORLD (IN A CANADIAN KIND OF WAY) The Toronto production of Godspell was before my time, but You Had to Be There… (the full title would take up my whole review) hammers home just how vital it was to comedy today. The butterfly effect of this single production is something to behold, but the true strength of this documentary is the cast. It’s not just hearing the reflections of their time together, but seeing the genuine family that came out of this one job. You can’t help but feel the love and gratitude that everyone shares, and it makes for one of the more feel-good films of TIFF. 9. ROOFMAN There’s no doubt that Roofman is the strongest performance of Channing Tatum’s career. In fact, this is likely the mold for his ideal leading-man role. There’s comedy, romance, goofiness, a hint of toughness, and tons of heart. Think Tom Hanks in the 90s but more of a badass. A lesser performance would’ve made Jeffrey Manchester (Tatum) hard to root for, but with the heart Tatum infuses into this real life story, you can’t help but want to see him succeed in some way. Add in solid supporting performances (Kirsten Dunst, Peter Dinklage) and this film ends up better than it has any right to be. 8. WAKE UP DEAD MAN I hate to pigeonhole a director, but if Rian Johnson continues making murder mysteries for the rest of his career, I'd be fine with that. Johnson has a knack for this, and his pairing with the now iconic Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) is magic. Although Blanc takes a backseat to Rev. Duplenticy (Josh O’Connor) here, he still has moments to shine as Johnson tries his hand at creating a gothic horror film. It's ambitious, but it works, though not quite as well as the previous two entries. That said, I will still gladly take a fourth film on the work of one Benoit Blanc. 7. CAROLINA CAROLINE Samara Weaving and Kyle Gallner are two of the more underrated actors working today, and Carolina Caroline is a terrific showcase for both of them to hammer that point home. A modern day Bonnie and Clyde saga, the love story is what takes center stage over the heist elements. The chemistry between Weaving and Gallner is off the charts, as her southern innocence is the perfect counter to his bad boy charm. They’re both sides of a magnet and you can feel the way they’re drawn to each other. It’s sexy, fun, and exciting and may just finally elevate these two in the public eye. 6. TUNER When it comes to Tuner , Dustin Hoffman may get you in the door, but you still walk into a surprisingly good film. Evoking memories of films like Baby Driver , this is just a good time at the movies. Leo Woodall gives perhaps his strongest performance to date, and everything auditory in the film - from its sound design to its jazz infused score - is all top notch. Plus, the aforementioned Hoffman can still steal a scene at 88 years old. Considering this is a debut narrative feature from a documentary filmmaker, this is quite a success. 5. HAMNET There’s no doubt Chloé Zhao makes thoughtful films, but I've never really connected with most of her offerings. That all changed with Hamnet . In the early stages of the film, there is a lot of meditative beauty, almost like a fairytale. It’s when the love story hits the climax and the tone changes where things stand out. Both Jessie Buckley and Paul Mescal give great performances here, but it's Zhao's direction that really elevates this sorrowful journey. I could feel the emotion bubbling inside me as the story grew, and when it was released, it was both cathartic and overwhelming. Zhao’s best by my count. 4. WASTEMAN To me, the best on-screen depiction of prison has been HBO'S Oz . So it's a huge compliment to say that's what Wasteman reminded me of. I've been waxing poetic about David Jonsson for some time, but this film is more than just a great showing from him. In fact, Tom Blyth is the headline here, as he comes out of nowhere with a powerhouse performance. A gritty, dirty film that never glorifies prison nor shy away from its issues, Wasteman may not bring anything new to the table, but when a story is told and performed as well as this, it doesn’t always need to. 3. NO OTHER CHOICE Park Chan-wook really has something with No Other Choice . Having only seen Oldboy previously, this was a bold reintroduction to the director's work. It’s incredibly difficult to make comedy work with subtitles because so much of it is about timing, but Chan-wook finds a way to expel that issue. Whether it’s the use of physical comedy or the facial expressions from star Lee Byung-hun (who is all-around great here), the comedy shines. Yet, Chan-wook still manages to find a place to include deep commentary on class and capitalism, wrap it all up with a striking final shot, and create an impressively layered film. 2. FRANKENSTEIN Frankenstein is director Guillermo del Toro’s heart laid out on screen. The director’s passion for this story is evident in every scene, and I truly think this is some of his best work to date. The world-building and appearance of the film are exceptional, as del Toro's unwavering use of practical effects shines through. Jacob Elordi as The Creature blows away all expectations while del Toro continues to succeed in finding humanity within a monster. It’s not perfect, mind you – Mia Goth is miscast and the script could be a touch tighter – but much like Frankenstein’s monster, it rises above any of its imperfections. 1. NIRVANNA THE BAND THE SHOW THE MOVIE As someone who’s never seen Nirvanna the Band the Show , I really had no idea what to expect going into this movie. But it’s incredible. Yes, the film is hilarious, as Matt Johnson and Jay McCarrol have clearly fine-tuned these characters. It’s the filmmaking, however, that kind of blew me away. Some of the things that Johnson attempts and succeeds at, be it editing or flat out risk-taking, is thoroughly impressive. On top of that, this thing is so authentically Torontonian, and that combined with a certain film’s integration to the story’s plot, made me feel like this was made for me.

WELCOME TO WREXHAM Starring: Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney Creators: Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney QUENTIN As a non-soccer fan living in Europe, I was hoping that Welcome to Wrexham , through the involvement of Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney, would jumpstart my interest in the sport. While it didn’t do that, it’s still a solid watch for those who already enjoy the game. It plays a lot like HBO’s Hard Knocks meets Ted Lasso , giving background on the team, the game, the city of Wrexham, and most importantly, the dedicated fans. As a love letter to all those things, it objectively succeeds; however, for me, I just can’t get myself interested enough in the footie to care all that much.

Previous Next April 23, 2025 It's time to tackle our first series of 2025, Disney's take on Daredevil's beloved Netflix series, Daredevil: Born Again ! Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel for all of our latest video content including our interviews, and be sure to give us a thumbs up and comment your thoughts!

FOUNDATION: SEASON ONE Starring: Jared Harris, Lee Pace, Lou Llobell, Leah Harvey, Laura Birn, Terrence Mann, and Cassian Milton Creators: Josh Friedman and David S. Goyer QUENTIN Given the sprawling nature of Foundation and the time period over which it takes place (literally 1000 years), it’s easy to see why this show struggles to stay interesting. It’s a space opera that must do a lot of world building (with constant time jumps) for the planned eight season run. However, in doing so, this season feels like the first act of an 80-hour movie. It might be the best-looking sci-fi show I’ve ever seen, but it feels like a show that one must slog through several seasons before it gets good. I don’t have the time or patience. JAMES As an Isaac Asimov fan, I have to wonder what David S. Goyer was thinking when he adapted Foundation . His writers’ room seems to have read Asimov’s books and not liked them because the writing comes across as confrontational towards the central concept of the books: namely, the foundation itself. Only Lee Pace’s Cleon makes the show worthwhile, with the palace intrigues and imperial powerplays milked for all they’re worth. The showrunners were clearly more interested in sci-fi palace drama, so why did they adapt Foundation instead of Asimov’s Galactic Empire ? This is a baffling mess of a television series.

MADE FOR LOVE: SEASON TWO Starring: Cristin Milioti, Billy Magnussen, Ray Romano, Dan Bakkedahl, Noma Dumezweni, Caleb Foote, and Sarunas J. Jackson Creators: Alissa Nutting, Dean Bakopoulos, Patrick Somerville, and Christina Lee QUENTIN Much like Upload , Made for Love is a tech-centric relationship dramedy that has fizzled out as it is forced to rely on actual story instead of clever world-building. While it’s still occasionally humorous and mildly interesting, this season is simply not as sharp, quirky, or well-drawn as the first season. Plus, the later episodes fall down a rabbit hole that ultimately favors concept over story and character, which, honestly, really sapped my interest. Cristin Milioti and Ray Romano still give good, borderline great, performances, but to what end? At this point, I can’t say I really care about Season Three.

Previous Next March 15, 2026 With the Oscars coming up, we're once again going to launch an episode for each film the Academy Awards have nominated for Best Picture. Each day leading to the ceremony, we will release an episode, and it's time to end it with a bang! One Battle After Another has had all the momentum for Best Picture, Best Director, Adapted Screenplay, and many others (surprisingly little for Leo though). That said, the discussions haven’t all been positive, especially surrounding the treatment of Black women in the film. Well, the Bitesize crew is joined by Jeannine “The Machine” Brice and Harrison Martin to dive into that particular conversation, the great performances, and whether the film is bound to win it all. Click HERE to subscribe to our YouTube channel for all of our latest video content including our interviews, and be sure to give us a thumbs up and comment your thoughts!

Previous Next August 20, 2025 WRITTEN BY: QUENTIN While it’s true we are about to enter film festival season, when most eventual award winners start trickling out, something else is also brewing. Football is back, baby! Despite me being a massive fan of both movies and football, I’m not entirely sure where the overlap is between the two fandoms. However, I’d venture to say that most football fans probably enjoy movies about football. I’d also bet that many of those individuals play fantasy football. That’s where I come in… With the NFL season starting in a few weeks, most fantasy players are doing fantasy draft prep, myself included. But I’m also preparing for multiple film festivals. I recently applied to both Zurich and Sundance Film Festivals (among others), which means I need to look ahead to what their slates might be so I know what movies to prioritize. Meanwhile, I’ve long been studying which NFL players might be a breakout, bust, or sleeper this season. In splitting my research time between movies and fantasy football, the two lines of thinking merged, prompting the following question: Who would be on my Fictional Fantasy Football Team? The rules are simple… 1. Only fictional football players, television or film. That means no players based on real people, so no one from the likes of Remember the Titans or Invincible . 2. To maintain some variety, no two players from the same movie. Otherwise, I might end up drafting everyone from Any Given Sunday . 3. I’m limiting myself to movies and series that I’ve seen, which means there might be some glaring omissions, in your opinion. For example, I never watched NBC’s Friday Night Lights , so no Tim Riggins (Taylor Kitsch) or Brian “Smash” Williams (Gaius Charles). 4. Obviously, comparing high school players to NFL players is a fool’s errand, so I’m working with the general caveat that “all things are created equal,” meaning all fictional players are playing in the same league. Frankly, there just aren’t enough football movies to make this work otherwise. A stud high school player in Varsity Blues is the same as a stud professional in The Replacements . Also, I’m assuming all players are in their prime. 5. I’m going with the standard lineup: QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, TE, FLEX, K, DST. Also, this is a PPR league (point per reception). 6. Lastly, I’m obviously not drafting against anyone else, so this team, in my eyes, is the best team available based on the rules above. Now, to quote Hank Williams, Jr., “are you ready for some FOOTBALLLLLLLLL!?!?!” QUARTERBACK: PAUL “WRECKING” CREWE, THE LONGEST YARD Specifically, I’m talking about the 1974 version of the character played by Burt Reynolds, not the 2005 version played by Adam Sandler. Nothing against Sandler, but Reynolds was a scholarship football player at Florida State, so his Crewe clearly has a more athletic build and probably better skillset than Sandler’s Crewe. Plus, real talk, quarterbacks in the 70s were just tougher than they are today. That notwithstanding, in his one on-screen game, he (eventually) shows composure, grit, determination, and leadership as he wills his team back from a 35-13 deficit against a dirty team not playing by the rules. He demonstrates incredible accuracy, the ability to make plays with his legs, and a solid game IQ. He’s also a former NFL MVP, so the talent is there to be an elite fantasy QB. RUNNING BACK: JULIAN “J-MAN” WASHINGTON, ANY GIVEN SUNDAY Look, I get that Julian Washington (LL Cool J) is a diva and one of the most selfish football players in on-screen history. However, this is a fantasy squad. I just need him to rack up yards and touchdowns, not be a positive locker room presence. For one, he’s stout at 6’2”, 230lbs. For comparison, the Philadelphia Eagles’ Saquon Barkley, who had a league-leading 2,283 total yards and 14 total touchdowns in 2024, is 6’, 234lbs. On top of that, Washington is a proven league-leading RB, having rushed for 1,500 yards the year before joining the Miami Sharks. He also has a reputation for constantly trying to get paid. Sure, that means his own head coach called him a “mercenary,” but it also means he’s doing everything in his power to hit all his incentive clauses and set up his next contract in free agency. In fantasy, that sort of selfishness wins championships. RUNNING BACK: RAY JENNINGS, DRAFT DAY We don’t have a ton of game film on Ray Jennings (Arian Foster), but there are a few anecdotes that make him a worthy RB2. We know that in his final season at Florida State, he had more than 2,000 total yards and finished as a Heisman finalist, which was enough to get him drafted #7 overall. We also know that his dad, Earl Jennings (Terry Crews) was an NFL legend, so there are good genes at play. Lastly, we know the actor portraying Jennings, former NFL RB Foster, was a dual-threat fantasy stud before injuries derailed his career. With the idea that actors put themselves into their characters, it’s not a giant leap to think Jennings could produce much like Foster did in his heyday, notching three All-Pro teams and four Pro-Bowls while leading the NFL in rushing touchdowns twice. WIDE RECEIVER: ROD TIDWELL, JERRY MAGUIRE Podcaster Bill Simmons once estimated that Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding, Jr.) had about 1,550 yards on 110 catches over the course of the season in Jerry Maguire . That is elite production, especially in 1996. For comparison, in real life, the most receptions in 1996 belonged to Jerry Rice (108) and the most receiving yards belonged to Isaac Bruce (1,338). So, yeah, he would have been the league’s best wideout. Although he is a bit undersized, he makes up for it with his intensity, competitiveness, and “kwan,” showing elite speed, great hands, and complete reliability as both a deep threat and a player who isn’t afraid to go across the middle. I could go on, but honestly, the estimated numbers speak for themselves. Tidwell is a first-round talent. WIDE RECEIVER: DEACON MOSS, THE LONGEST YARD You might think this is a cheat, but I said, “no two players from the same movie.” The Longest Yard (1974) and The Longest Yard (2005) are scientifically proven to be two separate movies. In fact, Deacon Moss (Michael Irvin) isn’t even a character in the original. Therefore, we’re good. In any case, Moss is a big-bodied, physical wideout that dominates defensive backs to make tough catches in traffic, and his incredible hands make him an indispensable offensive weapon. There is much we could speculate about how Moss would translate prison-yard skills to the NFL, but much like Ray Jennings, we have a perfect real-life parallel. Irvin, known as “The Playmaker,” was a three-time All-Pro and five-time Pro-Bowler who averaged almost 1,300 yards, 83 receptions, and seven touchdowns per season during his prime. The dude is an NFL Hall of Famer, and these numbers aren’t out of reach for Moss, whose inclusion is a no-brainer. When paired with Tidwell, that’s a 1-2 fantasy punch at WR that would be untouchable. TIGHT END: BRIAN MURPHY, THE REPLACEMENTS Much like real fantasy football, TE is slim pickings in fictional fantasy football too. After much research, Brian Murphy (David Denman) is the only fictional TE I could find with any usable profile. All evidence points to him having been a first-round talent if only he weren’t deaf, which is a good start. Former NFL fullback Derrick Coleman, also deaf, has shown that the hearing-impaired can have some NFL success. So, why not Murphy? He has the size and hands to be, if nothing else, a decent target in the red zone, as demonstrated by catching the game-winning, playoff-clinching touchdown against the Dallas Knights. At worst, he’s probably touchdown dependent, but that is all you can really hope for with most TEs, anyway. FLEX: BUDDY, AIR BUD: GOLDEN RECEIVER Wherever I happen to be as you’re reading this right now, just know that I can feel you rolling your eyes into another dimension. Just hear me out… First, yes, Buddy (Rush, Chase, Zak, and Chance) is a dog, but he’s also a multi-sport star. Name another athlete that has proven to be competitively successful in football, basketball, soccer, baseball, and volleyball. Second, name one person who could keep up with a golden retriever that runs the 40-yard dash in about 2.7 seconds. Given his speed and agility, Buddy is a matchup nightmare. Plus, it’s noted that he could run a marathon, so he has endurance too. As it pertains to football, specifically, he averages at least three touchdowns per game with zero drops. In the championship game alone, he has at least 140 rushing yards, 100 receiving yards, and three touchdowns. He averages 40 yards after the catch! You may think it’s silly to include him here, but those are Madden numbers, making for an unstoppable flex. It remains to be seen if he would be the highest scoring player in all of fantasy, but he’ll almost certainly be a very good boy, nevertheless. KICKER: LUCY DRAPER, NECESSARY ROUGHNESS Lucy Draper (Kathy Ireland), a soccer player, is essentially the only offensive threat on a terrible team, which means since drives will inevitably stall in enemy territory, she will be inundated with field goal chances. She has also shown the ability to split the uprights in the driving rain and from distance with the game on the line, demonstrating the type of clutch poise that would make Ray Finkle jealous. Let’s not forget that she also stood up to an opposing player in tremendous fashion after being taunted for being a woman in a “man’s game,” so she’s got the moxie typical of most successful football players. DEFENSE/SPECIAL TEAMS: UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA, FORREST GUMP I admit, this one may be a cheat. Yes, I said no real people, but even as I recognize the University of Alabama is a real team, I’m drafting it for a very specific and very fictional reason: Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks). If you don’t play fantasy football, you may not know that, in addition to scoring fantasy points based on how many real points your fantasy defense gave up in a real game, you usually get points for kickoff and punt return yards and touchdowns too. Gump was a machine on that front, even becoming an All-American for seemingly doing little else but returning kickoffs for touchdowns (in the movie, at least). Now, Gump attended Alabama from 1959 to 1963. I don’t know anything else about the rest of Alabama’s team in the world of Forrest Gump , but in real life, Alabama went 38-4-1 during that time, including winning the national title in 1961 when they only gave up 25 total points in 11 games. I also know that Gump had six kickoff returns for touchdowns in his first season (both the real-life NCAA and NFL record is four in a season), one of which was for 99 yards. Lastly, in 2024, the average touchdowns scored by a DST was 1.6 (the Denver Broncos had the most with five). That includes touchdowns stemming from interceptions, fumble recoveries, kickoff returns, and punt returns. If Gump can continue breaking return touchdown records while racking up return yards in support of an apparently stout defensive unit, that creates a significant advantage over every other team.