THE KILLER (2023) Starring: Michael Fassbender, Charles Parnell, Tilda Swinton, Sala Baker, and Arliss Howard Director: David Fincher QUENTIN With only his second movie since 2014’s Gone Girl , director David Fincher returns to his dark thriller roots with the noirish The Killer , a lean assassin flick that pairs the slick planning sequences usually seen in heist movies with the deliberate tone and methodical pacing of Mindhunter . A tightly written revenge story, it features a dryly funny Michael Fassbender as he delivers Dexter -style voiceovers about how to be a successful assassin. Even if it is relatively straightforward, especially by Fincher standards, it’s no less compelling than some of Fincher’s best works, landing in the top tier of Netflix Originals. NICK The Killer may not be director David Fincher's top feature, but it's certainly in the upper half of his filmography. The director has crafted a tense and surprisingly humourous sensory experience that feel less like a film and more like a tense situation you've become immersed in. Michael Fassbender provides the nameless assassin with the exact cold and calculated persona the film requires, including an insightful inner monologue (think Dexter ), and though it may not be the most action-packed film you see this year, it boasts one of the most hard-hitting fight sequences you're bound to come across. Overall, another winner for Fincher. ADRIANO When it comes to the story, The Killer is not without its flaws, but it's a badass David Fincher flick, nonetheless. The majority of its runtime is a meticulous procedural process that the film insists we go on, and while that may sound grating, it's endlessly fascinating and surprisingly funny. Fincher's modernized style takes us through the invigorating stoic eyes of Michael Fassbender, and every detail that gets picked up on is a blast. The editing and score help make this film a joy ride too, even if the ending is a bit rushed. All in all, The Killer is a well-planned and executed thriller. AMARÚ There is a line in The Killer that basically amounts to “if you can’t deal with boredom, this life isn’t for you.” Well, that same idea proves that this movie isn’t for me. While director David Fincher and star Michael Fassbender (the titular killer) take an interestingly introspective look at this kind of work, it feels too much like a stakeout, with a lot of waiting around for something interesting to happen. When something does happen, you take notice (fight of the year candidate included), but ultimately, this look at the mundane life of an assassin is not what I was hoping for. CALEB The Killer is one of director David Fincher’s most challenging projects to date. You can appreciate the movie as a meditation on labour, career, and perfectionism, but it’s certainly not the white-knuckle thriller some were expecting. The film is as cold, calculated, and patient as its protagonist, and this restrained approach might alienate a lot of Fincher’s die-hard fans. The Killer is a thought-provoking experience that certainly held my attention, but rarely had me on the edge of my seat. It’s definitely worth a watch, but it’s a shame that its story wasn’t as compelling as its thematic undertakings. KATIE The Killer is a cold, calculated, yet forgettable assassin thriller. It's undoubtedly stylish, modern, well-crafted, and meticulously shot, but it's also mundane and slightly tedious, with a lot of waiting around for something to happen, accompanied by an exhaustive voice-over. My issue is not that the film lacked sentiment, but that it has an emotional detachment that goes beyond the sociopathy of the protagonist and borders on uninteresting. However, Michael Fassbender gives a fantastic performance as the remorseless hitman, while Tilda Swinton lights up her brief screen time with wit and charm. PRESTON The Killer is a mashup of two great movies, John Wick and Drive , but is so much less successful than either or their sum. I don’t like criticizing the director (David Fincher) of some of my favorite works, but my own inner narrative compels me to do so. Character development is lacking, lighting is particularly terrible, and stylistics trump storytelling. I love the calculated-killer-capitalist whose emotion flickers in the light of personal tragedy, but the innovative approach to the assassin’s more mundane tasks is not enough to distract from the film’s failings. I didn’t hate it, but I probably won’t re-watch. PAIGE While extremely stylish, The Killer is a cold and simplistic revenge story. This gritty crime thriller allows director David Fincher to prove once again that he is an attentive craftsman; however, I must admit that this time around, I felt that he was more reserved behind the camera and played it safe with the story. I was intrigued by the introspective narrative approach of our lead, played by the underrated Michael Fassbender, but the film lacked heart. It seemed as if Fincher cared more about the technical aspects of the movie than the actual story. This film was reviewed by Quentin as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2023 Venice International Film Festival.

AUDREY'S CHILDREN Starring: Natalie Dormer, Clancy Brown, Jimmi Simpson, Evelyn Giovine, and Brandon Micheal Hall Director: Ami Canaan Mann KATIE Audrey’s Children is a heartfelt and moving film about the legacy of Dr. Audrey Evans’ transformative work. Natalie Dormer is fantastic and brings a passionate energy to the role of Audrey, and has great chemistry with co-star Jimmi Simpson (Dr. Dan D’Angio). I just would have liked more exploration of Dr. Audrey Evans's life before working at the Hospital of Philadelphia, and more insight into what drives her to be the incredible woman she clearly was. Overall, Audrey’s Children is beautifully shot and succeeded in engaging me in a true story I knew nothing about previously, whilst highlighting Dr. Audrey Evans’ impact. AMARÚ As with many biopics that cover extraordinary people in extreme circumstances, Audrey’s Children goes as its performances go. Luckily, Natalie Dormer is electric as pediatric oncologist Dr. Audrey Evans, and she is further bolstered by magnificent against-type support from Jimmi Simpson (playing strong/silent instead of weird/silent) and Clancy Brown (playing good-guy mentor instead of bad-guy badass). Even more fortunate is that Ami Canaan Maan’s direction seamlessly blends a propulsive pace that matches the urgency of cancer research with a contemplative one highlighting its severity. Audrey’s Children is an all-around solid watch that is more than worth your time.

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES Starring: Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Regé-Jean Page, Justice Smith, Sophia Lillis, and Hugh Grant Directors: Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley NICK I’m not familiar with the lore of Dungeons & Dragons , not to mention that game adaptations don’t have a particularly strong track record, so to say my expectations for this film were low is apt. However, directors John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein were careful to keep things simple and not fall into the habit of taking the film too seriously. This all leads to an impressively funny movie with an entertaining cast (headlined by the welcome return of Chris Pine playing the role of charming idiot) and some terrific visuals. It’s only March, but Honor Among Thieves may just end up my surprise of the year. QUENTIN To be perfectly honest, since I’ve never played the game and the trailers looked terrible in a way-too-goofy way, I had no real desire to see this movie. However, I can admit when I’m wrong, and much to my surprise, Dungeons & Dragons is an absolute blast. It’s like The Princess Bride sprinkled with a smidge of leftover grit from The Witcher . That said, to be clear, this is not a fantasy movie that happens to have jokes. It’s a straight action-comedy that happens to have dragons, and it generates several legitimate laugh-out-loud moments from both fully realized set pieces and throwaway one-liners. ADRIANO I could go on and on about how Dungeons & Dragons ‘ plot is filled with contrivances, conveniences, and wasted time. However, with that in mind, I really liked this movie because it’s just a dumb fun ride of adventure. I’ve never played Dungeons & Dragons, but that didn’t prevent me from enjoying the surprising amount of laughter or the cast that was clearly having as much fun as I was. I don’t think directors Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley set out to create a masterpiece, they just wanted to take an audience on a ride…and they truly succeeded in doing that. DARRYL Somehow defying all odds, Dungeons & Dragons manages to entertain and delight. For fans of the game, the lighthearted tone and feel manage to replicate the fun of a weekend session with friends while simultaneously not alienating those unfamiliar with the source material. Chris Pine and Michelle Rodriguez fully lean into the camp and humor inherent in such stories, with the rest of the party following suit to give audiences a quick-paced, rollicking romp. It's an all-ages fantasy that manages to feel cheesy yet genuine in all the right ways. AMARÚ In Dungeons & Dragons , writers/directors John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein’s lifelong love for D&D is noticeable through the film’s amazing visuals, incredible world-building, kinetic action, and charming performances. But it’s the way the writing blends that love into a fantasy version of Whose Line is it Anyway? that makes it great. One fantastical set piece builds to the next great comedic line, leading into an unbelievable action sequence, and then…and then…and then… It leaves you loving every delightful aspect, and even some lackluster dramatic moments can’t hamper the wonder weaved through this hilarious, imaginative, and surprisingly fantastic film. JACOB Dungeons & Dragons is likely to go down as one of the year’s biggest surprises, especially relative to expectations and its truly terrible marketing. Apart from a general lack of cohesion in its pacing and little emotional investment in the stakes of its story, this game adaptation from John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein largely works thanks to a sincere respect for the source material and a healthy dose of fun. It’s also surprisingly funny, with most of the humor landing exactly as intended, especially from Chris Pine, while Michelle Rodriguez kicks ass in the film’s unfortunately too-few action sequences.

MARRY ME Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson, Maluma, John Bradley, Chloe Coleman, and Sarah Silverman Director: Kat Coiro ADRIANO Marry Me is definitely not the worst rom-com starring Jennifer Lopez that I’ve seen. Actually, Lopez and Owen Wilson do a stellar job. The chemistry they have with each other genuinely made me smile. Unfortunately, the movie crumbles under a lot of bad rom-com trappings. It’s absurdly predictable, and everything that I thought would happen happened exactly as I thought it would. Maybe I could forgive that if it was funny, but for the life of me, I can’t remember a single time I laughed. I didn’t despise this movie, but I definitely didn’t enjoy it. JOSEPH Wow, I was so pleasantly surprised with Marry Me . Going in, it seems like it’s going to be a sort of generic and predictable film, and in many ways it is, but there’s something fresh about it. Don’t get me wrong, the film is still tropey and a little dumb at times, but it’s just pure joy to watch. There’s a surprising level of chemistry between Owen Wilson and Jennifer Lopez, while Sarah Silverman offers some good humor. Marry Me is a smile-inducing, fun time.

CARRY-ON Starring: Taron Egerton, Jason Bateman, Sofia Carson, Danielle Deadwyler, Tonatiuh, Theo Rossi, Logan Marshall-Green, Sinqua Walls, and Dean Norris Director: Jaume Collet-Serra NICK Carry-On is a throwback to early 2000s action-thrillers, but here's the thing: the term "throwback" is often used in a positive manner, and that's not the case here. This is a generic copycat film that wastes its talented supporting cast (Danielle Deadwyler, Sinqua Walls, and Logan Marshall-Green, to name a few), and even with Taron Egerton and Jason Bateman doing their best with what they are given, the unimaginative script betrays them. Notable cast aside, if a film like Rebel Ridge is the high end of Netflix actioners, then a film like Carry-On resides in the low end. KATIE Carry-On is a cliché but serviceable Netflix thriller that draws upon late 90s/early 2000s action films. The film’s success rests on the strong central performances from Taron Egerton, playing TSA agent Ethan Kopek, and Jason Bateman as the mysterious passenger, whose everyman charm is a great contrast to the sinister role. Carry-On is at its most entertaining during the tense conversations between them, but the uneven, often uninspired dialogue lets it down, as do the leaps of faith required to justify some characters’ actions. On the bright side, there are a couple of genuinely gripping and creative action sequences. QUENTIN Although not terrible by any means, Carry-On is basically a mediocre rip-off of Phone Booth (among other things) that did little more than make me want to watch Joel Schumacher’s (R.I.P.) underrated gem again. The performances from the better-than-it-deserves cast are generally fine but nothing special, although Jason Bateman’s typically wry persona adds some against-type intrigue to his villainous turn. Meanwhile, the suspense elements aren’t all that suspenseful, and the twists aren’t as clever as they think they are. Overall, it’s an inoffensive distraction, I suppose, but it mostly just made me wonder why the talented Taron Egerton seemingly isn’t getting offered meatier roles. PAIGE Carry-On very much has the vibe of an early 2000s action thriller, like the most basic versions of Air Force One or Phone Booth . While the movie certainly has some creativity to it, it's mostly a bunch of clichés that lack the suspense needed for a decent thriller. The film should have concentrated more on Jason Bateman's unexpectedly menacing performance rather than letting the plot get increasingly outlandish and cheesier as it progressed. Unfortunately, this movie is so predictable that my mind checked out at about the midway point. PRESTON Carry-On does just enough to make it a worthy, if not supremely mediocre, Netflix flick. Taron Egerton is a bit over the top at times, but serviceable as TSA agent Ethan Kopek, while Jason Bateman provides a realistic tint to his character’s dialogue that makes the film much more successful than it would have been otherwise (seeing him as the “bad guy” is a fun bonus too). It's a nice attempt to enter the ranks of the Die Hard -class of Christmas films, but it comes up short as a predictable and less-than-thrilling “thriller,” typical of releases of the same ilk.

MR. CROCKET Starring: Jerrika Hinton, Alex Akpobome, Ayden Gavin, Kristolyn Lloyd, and Elvis Nolasco Director: Brandon Espy NICK As a huge fan of Channel Zero 's Candle Cove season, I love the idea of children's television turning sinister. Mr. Crocket is the latest film to attempt this idea, and it succeeds for what it is. The practical effects are fun and (mostly) make up for a seemingly low budget, but its performances - which sit firmly at "adequate" - aren’t truly able to elevate the material. A couple stand-out showings could have taken Mr. Crocket to new heights, but as is, it’s just a good/not great horror film that has a chance at a small cult following. QUENTIN Given that Mr. Crocket is a six-minute short expanded to nearly 90 minutes, it’s understandable that the story is a bit thin. That said, director Brandon Espy has created a sure-to-be cult classic in his feature debut, as well as an initial calling card for, hopefully, a long career behind the horror camera. His enthusiastic use of practical effects, 80s-inspired puppetry, and fun gore are a refreshing change of pace from the dispassionate schlock typically peddled by studios like Blumhouse. On top of that, an unrecognizable Elvis Nolasco is delightfully sinister as an amalgamation of Mr. Rogers and Freddy Krueger. It’s a nice Halloween surprise. PAIGE Mr. Crocket is a kooky horror movie that honestly feels like Mr. Rogers met Freddy Krueger in an alleyway and became friends. While there’s a lot to appreciate here, such as the impressive practical effects, its gnarly gore, and Elvis Nolasco's eerie, yet playful performance as the titular character, the story needed stronger writing to feel more fleshed out. Additionally, even though its runtime is only about 90 minutes long, it becomes less engaging as it goes on. Overall, though, it’s a decent flick to check out this Halloween season. This film was reviewed by Nick as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of Fantastic Fest 2024.

PET SEMETARY: BLOODLINES Starring: Jackson White, Forrest Goodluck, Jack Mulhern, Henry Thomas, Natalie Alyn Lind, Isabella Star LaBlanc, Samantha Mathis, Pam Grier, and David Duchovney Director: Lindsey Anderson Beer This film has been reviewed by Nick and Quentin as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of Fantastic Fest 2023. NICK If you're looking for Pet Sematary: Bloodlines to justify its existence, it doesn't. It's pretty much a rehash of the original story of Ludlow with a different coat of paint. Having said that, as a standalone horror, it's a nice introduction for a new generation to the Pet Sematary concept. Even if you aren't new to the franchise, there’s still enough thrills and chills here to provide a satisfying watch. The backstory of Jud Crandall (Jackson White) may be unnecessary, but it still makes for a more interesting story than the 2019 remake of the 1989 original. QUENTIN As a huge fan of 1989’s Pet Sematary (it remains one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen, in fact), the idea of a prequel that explores the lore of the titular graveyard had my attention immediately. However, Bloodlines isn’t really interested in exploring that lore in any meaningful way. Director Lindsey Anderson Beer mostly just throws jump scares, blood, gore, and slight nods to the IP at the screen in hopes that it will be enough. Sadly, it is not. When you pair that with very mediocre acting, you end up with a franchise entry that embodies its most known quote: “Sometimes dead is better.” KATIE Pet Sematary: Bloodlines left me wondering, “who asked for this film?” It gave me the same bad taste that I’ve experienced with many recent horror prequels or reboots. It’s a totally lifeless, uninspired re-telling of the original story, featuring underdeveloped characters and lackluster performances (with the notable exception of Isabella Star LaBlanc). The film rests on relationships between lifelong friends, as well as fathers and sons; however, we never explore their emotional bonds, and therefore have no reason to be invested in them. This franchise did not deserve to be resurrected. CALEB Pet Sematary: Bloodlines is a lifeless prequel that loses all the terror the original film brought to the table. Pet Sematary (1989) worked so well because it was simple, with the draw of the story coming from the characters and their choices. The cemetery itself was just a plot device; we didn’t need a movie about its origin story. Bloodlines is needlessly complicated and entirely aimless, and it seems disinterested in exploring loss in any meaningful way, choosing instead to bore its audience to death with terrible characters and convoluted world-building. Just like everything else in the pet sematary, this franchise should’ve stayed dead. PHILL Pet Sematary: Bloodlines might just be a serious contender for dullest movie of the year. This uninspired horror has nothing going for it, outside of some very cheap gore effects (most of which are done off screen) and extremely predictable jump scares. To top it off, every single performance in this film is completely wooden; however, in the actor’s defence, the script is so weak that they had very little to work with, anyway. Sadly, there is not a single redeeming quality in Bloodlines that makes this film worth watching. The entire film is as generic as the title.

SOMEBODY I USED TO KNOW Starring: Alison Brie, Jay Ellis, Kiersey Clemons, Danny Pudi, Olga Merediz, Haley Joel Osment, Julie Hagerty, and Ayden Mayeri Director: Dave Franco AMARÚ Somebody I Used to Know struggles mightily to find its groove. There are 30 minutes in the second act where the film is what the trailer promised, an uneasy romance about Alison Brie seeing her ex-boyfriend (Jay Ellis) on his wedding weekend. Ellis plays these romantic conundrums well (see Insecure ), and Kiersey Clemons is electric as his fiancé, so I’m not sure why it focused on Brie being the shittiest human possible stuck in awkward comedic situations akin to American Pie . The conflicting tones and unlikable (read: uninteresting) lead killed any momentum the engaged couple sporadically brought to this unappealing film. NICK Somebody I Used to Know deserves its props for trying to do something outside the traditional rom-com format. That said, it provides mixed results. On the technical side, Dave Franco continues to show some promise as a director; however, with questionable decisions for many of the characters, I was hard pressed to root for anyone. The marketing also hurt it because the trailer teased a direction that would have served the story well, yet it is never fully realized. Honestly, it’s a bit of a disappointment by the end. However, I couldn’t help but enjoy the Community reunion of Alison Brie and Danny Pudi. PAIGE Somebody I Used to Know is definitely not your run-of-the-mill rom-com. Tonally, it’s a little all over the place, but at its core is a film about self-worth and love. It’s refreshing to get adult-like coming-of-age stories that many can relate too. Yes, it has its cute, light-hearted rom-com beats, but when director Dave Franco digs into the overall message of the film, that’s where it shines the brightest. Overall, it’s a cute little gem that starts off a little rough around the edges, but cruises along quite gracefully once it finds its groove. QUENTIN Despite the cast’s chemistry, Somebody I Used to Know can be summed up in two words, contemptuously uttered by Kiersey Clemons’ character about our “hero,” Ally (Alison Brie): “…dis bitch.” Like many rom-com protagonists, Ally is a terrible person. Her aim is to break up an engagement mostly to make herself feel better, and since the film’s tone is closer to pseudo-serious dramedy than charming comedy, it makes for an ickier version of My Best Friend’s Wedding . It’s not a bad movie at all, and it’s nice to see Community alum Brie and Danny Pudi reunited on screen, but it’s a hard story to root for. JOSEPH Mix My Best Friend’s Wedding with a Hallmark romance, throw in Allison Brie, and you get Somebody I Used to Know . It’s a mess of a movie that fails to be romantic, funny, or even likable. There’s no charm, little humor, and awkward character traits and backstory. However, I think Brie is the main issue because it’s hard for me to buy her as a small town girl. She never fits in with the rest of the movie, and it weighs everything and everyone else down substantially. It’s a huge miss that fails to entertain on most every level.

BROTHERS Starring: Josh Brolin, Peter Dinklage, Glenn Close, Marisa Tomei, and Brendan Fraser Director: Max Barbakow ADRIANO After the excellent Palm Springs , I was excited to see director Max Barbakow's latest film, Brothers (the fact that it stars my childhood hero Brendan Fraser also didn't hurt). However, it saddens me to say that this is mostly a wash. It's not horrible, I suppose, as the cast is all very committed, especially the delightfully unhinged performances from Fraser and Marisa Tomei, but for a film so reliant on absurdism, the film's story is wildly familiar, mixed with a lack of jokes that land and a weak familial dynamic. There is talent on display here, but it's mostly an inoffensive waste. QUENTIN At this point, if you see an all-star cast in a straight-to-streaming comedy, you just know there is a reason it didn’t hit theaters. Brothers is no different. An uninspired and lazy mix of Twins , Blue Streak , and Dumb and Dumber To (even Brendan Fraser’s fat cop, Farful, is reminiscent of Super Troopers ’ Farva (Kevin Heffernan)), there isn’t much to recommend here outside of hearing a wacky Marisa Tomei telling Fraser to “suck my balls.” This movie is like the worst of the Farrelly Brothers’ comedies, and an embarrassment for four former Oscar nominees (Josh Brolin, Glenn Close, Fraser, Tomei), two of which are Oscar winners. PRESTON If you are thinking Brothers will be anything like the quality of Step Brothers , look no further. Unfortunately, an all-star cast is not enough to pull this ridiculous “comedy” into the realm of the alliterative, campy comedy classics. Not that there isn’t any hope for some - if you loved White Chicks or any comedy where Rob Schneider is the lead, then this shallow and crude comedy might get the mindless, belly laughs going. It isn’t exactly unwatchable, but it’s close, and it damn sure ain’t great. You get to see Marisa Tomei, though… AMARÚ Brothers has a real My Name is Earl vibe, but it isn’t intelligent enough to be that funny, nor serious enough to have likable characters. It’s a real shame, too, because there are times, especially towards its way-too-late-but-endearing ending, that Josh Brolin and Peter Dinklage’s dynamic finds some magic. They naturally fit as bickering siblings, but the writing never finds the tone to make this more than just a paycheck. Brendan Fraser was the only one who knew what movie he was supposed to be in, but the rest of the film didn’t get the memo that you can do silly, smart, and sweet simultaneously.

WEAPONS Starring: Julia Garner, Josh Brolin, Alden Ehrenreich, Cary Christopher, Austin Abrams, Benedict Wong, and Amy Madigan Director: Zach Cregger ADRIANO It doesn't reach the highs of writer/director Zach Cregger's previous horror outing, Barbarian , but Weapons shows that his knack for absurd horror-comedy wasn't a fluke. I don't know if everything that's bubbling under the surface is quite realized beyond its portrayal of community hysteria; however, even if you ignore the subtext, you still have a fun movie that keeps turning up the dial in obscene ways with genuinely shocking reveals that enhance the evolving plot. I certainly need to sit with Weapons longer, but I recognize how much of a unique thrill ride it was, and maybe that's enough. NICK Although I enjoyed parts of Zach Cregger's Barbarian , I was ultimately underwhelmed. The same is true of his latest film, Weapons . Much like Barbarian , there's some greatness (an intriguing story and dynamic camerawork), but once again, my issue is with the sum of its parts. The spooky story is undone by out-of-place (though funny) comedy that undermines the eeriness of the film. Even the well-built mystery stutters a little as the film transitions into its bonkers final act – an act I enjoyed, but with some serious tonal whiplash. Now that I know what it is, perhaps a revisiting is necessary. ROBERT A big debate recently has been about the lack of true comedy lighting up silver screens, but what has been apparent is that a number of funny voices opt for genre filmmaking. Such filmmakers have extensive comedy backgrounds, and that is true of Zach Cregger and Weapons . I am one for tonal shifts if they don’t inspire dissonance, and I think there is a juxtaposed realness with wackiness that Weapons hops to and from expertly. The same is true of its parallel seriousness and comical ridiculousness. Cregger blends a powerful cast with smart pacing and vibrant cinematography; run towards it at all costs. PAIGE Weapons is a thrilling and memorable rollercoaster of a ride that will have you gripping the edge of your seat throughout. The film’s atmosphere is certainly tense and moody, but it also isn’t afraid to have a fun sense of humor. Its episodic storytelling structure allows each of the characters to shine and enhances the film’s overall approach to the narrative. While the film’s buildup is more compelling and satisfying than the ultimate payoff, which lacks substance, I can’t help but feel that after his sophomore outing, writer/director Zach Cregger has solidified himself as a must-watch filmmaker. QUENTIN When it comes to pure, edge-of-your-seat horror-suspense engagement, I’m not sure there are many titles that compare to Weapons . The Pulp Fiction -ish story structure kept me wondering what was coming next with wide eyes, and while the performances are exactly as good as they need to be, they ultimately take a backseat to Zach Cregger's writing and direction. After this and Barbarian , he’s clearly “that dude" for new horror (maybe moreso than Jordan Peele). Admittedly, the ending gets a little too comical, presenting a tonal whiplash that could break your neck, but 99 percent of a masterpiece is still goddamn good. KATIE Weapons fires on all fronts. It’s brimming with ideas, full of incredible performances, particularly the young Cary Christopher (one of the best child actors I’ve ever seen in a horror film), and most importantly, is genuinely scary. The terrifying imagery will undoubtedly haunt me for weeks to come, and the jump scares feel earned rather than cheap, effectively speaking to modern American societal fears in this spine-chilling fairy tale. It kept me perpetually tense and desperate to know what was around each corner, and I found that the dark comedy perfectly complemented the horror, creating an even more unsettling experience. BODE It’s obvious how large Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia looms over Zach Cregger’s latest film, Weapons . That go-for-broke inspiration is apparent in almost every frame, right down to its insane close. It’s a big showcase of his impressive skills and clear interests as a filmmaker. It’s almost a shame that - for as entertaining as it is throughout - it doesn’t leave you with more to chew on, especially in comparison to its main inspiration (or even Cregger’s own Barbarian , which did more with less). Still, studio horror is in a good place if we keep getting big swings like this. AMARÚ Zach Cregger has a masterfully compelling handle on his direction, with imagery and camerawork that really puts the audience into his stories. With that said, Weapons is a clusterfuck. A hodgepodge of frustration, confusion, intrigue, humor, bewilderment, mystery, and captivating writing (also by Cregger) that had my love of puzzle-piece storytelling battling my exasperation with stupid people doing stupid things for stupid reasons in horror films. Which side won depended on how the film landed its multi-point-of-view conundrum, and while I still have questions and it’s a bit too long, I can’t deny that I left satisfied.

DOG ON TRIAL Starring: Laetitia Dosch, Anne Dorval, Jean-Pascal Zadi, Pierre Deladonchamps, François Damiens, Mathieu Demy, and Tom Fiszelson Director: Laetitia Dosch QUENTIN When one talks about finding hidden gems at film festivals, Dog on Trial is a perfect example. A movie that, on its surface, appears to be light and goofy (which it is) also works as a terrific metaphor for how society sees women, as well as a more straight-forward look at animal rights. Though almost never preachy, it explores the nature of the legal system, societal constructs, and humanity in humorous yet thought-provoking ways. It’s absurd and whimsical, but also deeply philosophical and observant. Plus, who doesn’t love a Movie Dog? KATIE Dog on Trial is a peculiar, absurd, but strangely thought-provoking film, exploring the patriarchal oppression of women, the treatment of animals, and the nature of justice in the most eccentric way. The premise of the film, an optimistic lawyer dedicated to helping hopeless cases defending a dog accused of biting in court, is far more irreverent than it sounds, and I really enjoyed the abrupt tone and oddly endearing characters. The plot is too busy for its short runtime, but ultimately, it's hard to resist the charm of Cosmo the dog’s adorable performance, and I think it's fair to call it that. This film was reviewed by Quentin as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2024 Cannes Film Festival.

BORDERLANDS Starring: Cate Blanchett, Ariana Greenblatt, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis, Florian Munteanu, Edgar Ramírez, and Jack Black Director: Eli Roth NICK Knowing relatively nothing about the game, I can only speak on Borderlands as a film, and as a film, it’s truly terrible. The decision to turn this IP into a PG-13 affair has completely castrated it of the violence the game is known for – something even more perplexing since Eli Roth directed it – while the story feels like a mish-mash of better movies. Even the “surprises” can be seen coming a mile away. I wish I could at least say good things about the performances, but everyone is woefully miscast, and the chemistry within the team is non-existent. Borderlands is a complete and utter misfire. ADRIANO Have you ever watched a movie so bad that it retroactively ruined your day? That's Borderlands . I have no relationship with the games, but judging the film on its own merit, it's visually bland, emotionally empty, and hilariously cliché. And you might be thinking, "that's ok, as long as it's fun." There is nothing fun about this movie. It’s not at all funny, and the action is boring. The ensemble doesn’t have any chemistry with each other, and for a game franchise known for its hyper-mature rating, this movie is toned down to suspicious degrees. It’s a shitshow in every way. AMARÚ Watching Borderlands must feel like what Cate Blanchett and Jamie Lee Curtis felt having to do one for “them.” Seriously, I watched it so none of you have to, but if you must… here’s my tip for not walking out of the theater like the one other person in my showing: zone out through the sci-fi clichés and video-game-checkpoint Macguffins until Blanchett does something cool, Kevin Hart says something funny, or one percent of Jack Black’s lines makes you smirk. Too bad none of that happens. I did laugh hysterically when they used that one song from Twilight’s baseball scene, though. There is that.