HEART EYES Starring: Olivia Holt, Mason Gooding, Gigi Zumbado, Michaela Watkins, Devon Sawa, and Jordana Brewster Director: Josh Ruben ADRIANO Somehow, Heart Eyes just works. Director Josh Ruben (of CollegeHumor fame, I might add) embraces the tropes of both slasher films and rom-coms and blends them well. You've got the fun thrills and gore (while never too excessive) of the slasher genre and the corny rom-com love story at the centre of a film that had me genuinely rooting for Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding's characters to get together. It's not perfect, as there are some unengaging storylines and the ending goes a little too deep into Scream territory, but I can't help it…I really had a blast. PAIGE Get ready to eat your heart out because Heart Eyes is a surprisingly fun holiday-themed slasher. It can certainly be difficult to mesh any two genres together, but director Josh Ruben does a great job here juggling the romance, the comedy, and the horror elements throughout. With its cheeky dialogue and gnarly kills, not to mention the amazing chemistry between Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding, the movie just has a lot going for it. Overall, this thing is a bloody good time, even though some of the side plots are pointless. BRYAN Heart Eyes has the heart, yet my eyes couldn’t fully stay invested. While a fairly enjoyable blend of slasher and romantic comedy, the storyline lacked much cohesion and suspense to leave me feeling on edge by the twists and turns. The ultimate saving grace is the chemistry between Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding. If their performances weren’t likable, the entire film would’ve fallen flat. Thankfully, there were plenty of well-staged kills, yet I wish the film had found a way of standing on its own. It felt like I was watching a Scream entry without the cleverness.

BACK IN ACTION Starring: Jamie Foxx, Cameron Diaz, McKenna Roberts, Rylan Jackson, Kyle Chandler, Glenn Close, Jamie Demetriou, Andrew Scott, and Fola Evans-Akingbola Director: Seth Gordon PRESTON Sometimes, a movie can make you re-evaluate what you’re doing with your life. Now, it’s not that Back in Action is particularly exceptional in any way that might evoke such a feeling; in fact, it is its un-exceptionalism that makes me think spending two hours learning to play piano would be exponentially more productive. Unfortunately, this is just a fast-food film that helps to close the gap between our society and the one in Idiocracy . No judgement if you need something like that at the end of a long day, but even a trashy novel is better exercise for your brain. NICK We are often harsh on theatrical releases that should have gone to streaming, but rarely do we praise the decision to head there. Back in Action is a great example of a film that belongs on streaming. Not good enough to pay money for, but not bad enough to turn off. This Spy Kids /Mr. & Mrs. Smith mash-up doesn’t bring anything new to the table (aside from the welcome return of Cameron Diaz), but also doesn’t try to be more than the sum of its parts. It’s mid, it knows it’s mid, and somehow that gives it a touch of charm.

BLUE BEETLE Starring: Xolo Maridueña, Bruna Marquezine, Adriana Barraza, Damián Alcázar, Raoul Max Trujillo, Susan Sarandon, and George Lopez Director: Ángel Manuel Soto AMARÚ Blue Beetle has a mustache-twirling, corporate evildoer problem, but not so much so that it sabotages the heart that director Ángel Manuel Soto infuses into the rest of the film. Combining dynamic action with vibrant humor, Soto keeps Latino culture and strong familial values at the story’s core to make Jamie Reyes (Xolo Maridueña) and his family indispensable components of the DCU’s future. Maridueña is a star, but it’s his endearing relationship with La Familia Reyes (VAMOS NANA!!!) that holds the movie’s appeal. That, plus a seamless integration of the superhero’s comic history, allows Blue Beetle to overcome the failings of the villain aspect. ADRIANO My expectations for Blue Beetle were low because the trailers didn’t excite me and I haven’t been impressed with DC recently. So, I suppose it’s a win that I found this movie to be, at worst, watchable. As a superhero movie, I’ve seen it before. It’s predictable to the point that it feels like there was no effort given to make it otherwise. However, the family aspect is where the film’s strengths lie. Between its genuine heart and a great lead performance from Xolo Maridueña, you have the best DC movie to come out this year… but only by default. JACOB While Blue Beetle isn’t likely to revive the superhero genre or DC’s bottom line, it’s still one of their more successful projects from a character perspective. Xolo Maridueña shines as the titular protagonist, and when the film is focusing on him, his family dynamic, and their Latino heritage, it’s really singing (Belissa Escobedo also is a standout). Where the film falls short is with its villain. Simply put, Victoria Kord (Susan Sarandon) is essentially a racist caricature with a mostly cartoon henchman. That said, these problems are largely overcome by surprising emotion and solid action. PRESTON I had high hopes for Blue Beetle to be a champion for the Latinx community in the superhero arena, but DC dropped the ball again. The acting feels stiff and unpracticed, with Xolo Maridueña as the exception, and everything from the set design to the editing feels careless, haphazard, and often unrealistic. But I am mostly disappointed by the missed opportunity to shine as something unique in an otherwise overdone genre. The loving family dynamic is heartfelt, but it suffers in the backdrop of the film’s overarching missteps. I hope the sequel can take advantage of a recipe that is primed for something special. PAIGE While Blue Beetle isn’t perfect by any means, it shimmers by having lots of heart. There also is plenty of fun to be had throughout this popcorn flick, especially with the Reyes family. With that said, those are the only aspects of the film that truly excel. Susan Sarandon’s mustache-twirling villainess takes you out of the film completely, and just does not work at all. Overall, this latest DC entry is your run-of-the-mill origin story, with no new attributes to make it stand out from the other superhero movies we have gotten over the years. PHILL Blue Beetle is another entry in the increasingly tiresome genre of superhero cinema. Though the stakes are refreshingly smaller than many recent superhero films, it unfortunately suffers mundane action sequences featuring atypical CGI characters crashing into each other. However, it’s the family dynamic that is the heart of this latest DC entry led by Xolo Maridueña, who is genuinely excellent and clearly having an absolute blast. Whilst the question of which DC cinematic universe this takes place in might be a little hazy, Blue Beetle is self-contained and grounded enough that it doesn’t overly matter at this point. NICK Yes, Blue Beetle feels like other 90s superhero movies as it's formulaic and familiar. Having said that, the charisma of Xolo Maridueña as Jaime Reyes is undeniable, which elevates the material. It's evident how much fun he is having with the character. Beyond him, the presence of his family adds a nice touch, though George Lopez as Rudy Reyes can be a little overbearing. The importance of the Latinx representation cannot be overstated, but I wish it came with a more unique formula. I didn't love Blue Beetle (nor hate it), but thanks to Xolo Maridueña, I'm looking forward to seeing the character again.

ONYX THE FORTUITOUS AND THE TALISMAN OF SOULS Starring: Andrew Bowser, Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Crampton, Arden Myrin, Terrence 'T.C.' Carson, Melanie Chandra, Olivia Taylor Dudley, Ralph Ineson, and Rivkah Reyes Director: Andrew Bowser This film has been reviewed by Quentin and Paige as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2023 Fantasia International Film Festival. QUENTIN Onyx the Fortuitous and the Talisman of Souls is an easy contender for Best of Fantasia. Admittedly, it took a minute to adjust to its particular wavelength, but once I did, I was fully on board, cracking up laughing on multiple occasions. And that was before the musical montage featuring Meat Loaf’s “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That).” This 80s comedy-horror throwback pays homage to everything from Labyrinth to They Live to Beetlejuice , and it’s sure to be a hit on the Midnight Movie circuit. It's this year's Psycho Goreman , and I hope writer-director Andrew Bowser gets to make the teased sequel. PAIGE Onyx the Fortuitous and the Talisman of Souls is the definition of campy. This whimsically satanic, haunted house movie certainly captures the feel of an 80s cult classic with its absurdity, but I have to say, even though the film got a few chuckles out of me, it has some painfully awkward performances that will make you cringe at times. While it won’t be everyone’s jam, it’s filled with personality, so I think this weird little flick will find its audience.

THE UNFORGIVABLE Starring: Sandra Bullock, Vincent D’Onofrio, Viola Davis, Jon Bernthal, Aisling Franciosi, and Rob Morgan Director: Nora Fingscheidt NICK Although it’s nice to see Sandra Bullock in another serious role, The Unforgivable doesn’t cut it. It’s not the actors’ faults, but this film wastes the likes of Bullock, Jon Bernthal, Vincent D’Onofrio, and Viola Davis by moving at a snail’s pace until the final act. When it finally picks up, I was already pretty tuned out, sadly. This is a film that needed exceptional dialogue to work, and it just doesn’t have it. It’s dreary, unimaginative, and it violates the cardinal sin of all - it’s boring. Considering the star power, this is one of Netflix’s bigger disappointments. JOSEPH The story The Unforgivable tells is a bit slow and brooding; a constant reflection of how society will not allow for second chances nor are they willing to hear people out. It’s because of this that the film does suffer a bit. It’s not sad enough to elicit much emotion nor does it have a comedic relief, it’s just a persistent downer, and if it weren’t for a specific subplot, it would probably be boring too. Most of the tension is due to this subplot involving random side characters. At least Sandra Bullock is able to truly shine in this.

THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE Starring: Maika Monroe, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Raúl Castillo, Martin Starr, and Milejah Vega Director: Michelle Garza Cervera PAIGE Let it be known that this remake is completely different from the original 1992 flick. I give it credit for trying to do its own thing, but 2025's The Hand That Rocks the Cradle is a very underwhelming film. It doesn’t come nearly as close to being as cringeworthy and thrilling as the OG version. This movie lacks depth and suspense, and its pacing is extremely sluggish. Maika Monroe and Mary Elizabeth Winstead are easily the best things in this streaming movie, as they are the only thing that keeps this movie somewhat afloat. Without them and their performances, there isn’t much to grasp onto here. KATIE I haven't seen the original The Hand That Rocks the Cradle , so I had nothing to really compare this remake to. It initially has some momentum and a good sense of tension, but it's too long and predictable. As is often the case in these types of films, the husband character is unfathomably imperceptive and unsupportive of his partner, which is necessary for the plot, but frustratingly so. Mary Elizabeth Winstead's and Maika Monroe’s performances are great, particularly Monroe, who is very unnerving and intense as the sinister nanny. However, aside from that, I found it unfortunately tedious. ROBERT I had a preconceived notion about The Hand That Rocks the Cradle and the ensuing conflict: I assumed Maika Monroe’s Polly was just a crazy stalker. Praise should be heaped upon director Michelle Garza Cervera and the writers for recognizing how to build out three acts to sow real discontent between Polly and Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s Caitlin that is surprising. Despite that strong base, everything else around it is a rickety house of cards, with mood and tonal shifts per scene that could cause whiplash, wooden supporting characters, and nothing but idiotic decisions to drive us to the conclusion. In the end, it all falls down. NICK I’ve never seen the original The Hand That Rocks the Cradle , so I don’t know if it's as slow a burn as this one, but this film really takes its time to get going. Maika Monroe and Mary Elizabeth Winstead (often underused actors) give solid showings, but the story they're working with feels half-baked, and honestly, lacks teeth. Had this embraced the apparent campiness of the original more, it could have been fun, but it all just feels unnecessarily dour. In the end, this remake is a fairly forgettable film that is bound to be lost in a sea of better offerings.

HONK FOR JESUS. SAVE YOUR SOUL Starring: Regina Hall and Sterling K. Brown Director: Adamma Ebo AMARÚ Honk For Jesus. Save Your Soul. ’s subject matter is one that epitomizes “if you know, you know.” Directing/producing duo Adamma & Adanne Ebo address the sometimes swept-up transgressions of the Black church in a way that still feels empathetic and loving, but it’s the knockout performances from Sterling K. Brown and Regina Hall that carry the authenticity with a powerful balance of satire, subtlety, and intensity. The movie as a whole leaves you wanting more closure in the storytelling and more levity in it’s dark comedy leanings, but watching two enthralling performances for 100 minutes will keep you entertained. QUENTIN I’m sure some people will find Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. to be a hilarious takedown of religion and megachurches, but for me, someone who watches The Righteous Gemstones and has seen other similar satires, its jabs are more than just a little tired and never quite as sharp as the writers think they are. On the plus side, Sterling K. Brown is magnetic as disgraced pastor Lee-Curtis Childs, but if the only things I’ll truly remember are that Childs’ suit game is on point and that Brown is surprisingly shredded like a superhero, that doesn’t say much for the movie as a whole. JACOB Satires are difficult to nail down, which is why Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. probably deserves a little more credit than I’m likely to give it as one of 2022’s hidden gems. While the sendup of megachurch culture does boast dynamic performances from Sterling K. Brown and Regina Hall, it fumbles when reaching for something more sincere underneath the comedic tone. Balancing satire between blistering and tragic often leaves a film struggling to commit to either, this being no exception. It still mostly works, but feels somewhat emotionally hollow, rendering its more pensive second half difficult to fully embrace.

SAMARITAN Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Javon “Wanna” Walton, Pilou Asbæk, Dascha Polanco, Moises Arias, and Martin Starr Director: Julius Avery JOSEPH Samaritan has its moments. On one hand, it’s a refreshing take on the superhero genre that feels more like the better superhero films from the early 2000s than your typical MCU fare. On the other hand, the script is sometimes lacking, leaving the villain’s end goal, as well as the nature of his superpowers, extremely unclear. The ending also just feels too long. Even with its flaws, the cast manages to shine, especially Javon Walton and Pilou Asbæk. It’s not a waste of time, but I don’t see Samaritan getting a cult following anytime soon. JACOB Like Spiderhead earlier this year, Samaritan feels like a miniseries that got squeezed into a feature-length runtime. The idea behind the film is an intriguing one - old hero, left his life behind, something happens to get him back in the ring; however, the execution leaves a good bit to be desired. Sylvester Stallone plays his knock-off Rocky-with-superpowers about as well as the film’s writing allows, but the rest of the supporting cast gets little to nothing interesting to do, and Javon Walton doesn’t yet have the skills to shoulder that weight. Despite the effort, it just doesn’t work. NICK Director Julius Avery follows up the underrated Overlord with this pedestrian and clichéd effort. Samaritan manages to be both a kids film without the childlike wonder and an action film without the brutal violence. Sure, Sylvester Stallone works in the lead role, but beyond that, there isn’t much to praise here. Neither the effects nor the supporting cast are able to elevate the film, and any surprises within the story are blatantly telegraphed in the opening minutes. This pairing of star and director, as well as the storyline, deserved better. Sadly, the execution did not meet the promise. QUENTIN Have you ever played a football video game that didn’t have licensing from the NFL, so the teams are generically named something like the California Wildcats? Like… yeah, it’s football, but ehhh. That’s basically what Samaritan is. A lazy stab at a non-IP superhero movie that, honestly, doesn’t even have much superheroing. I’m admittedly a sucker for Sylvester Stallone, but Javon “Wanna” Walton, who is fantastic as Ashtray in Euphoria , is horribly miscast here. He just can’t pull off innocent precociousness. With some truly terrible dialogue and a twist I predicted in record time, Samaritan hearkens back to the superhero movie wasteland of the 90s. PAIGE The Sylvester Stallone-led superhero film Samaritan has a blatant 90s action vibe that would have benefited from more action beats to save it from being a fiery pit of disappointment. Sly isn't given the tools to pull off a movie like this because it's built on a weak script and tame story. It also doesn’t help that it has a predictable twist that you can see coming from a mile away. Don’t get me wrong, the film had potential, and if the story dug deeper into the character instead of anchoring itself to generic superhero tropes about redemption, we may have gotten a better movie.

MASS Starring: Jason Isaacs, Ann Dowd, Reed Birney, and Martha Plimpton Director: Fran Kranz NICK Every once in a while, you come across a film that doesn't need any bells or whistles, just actors giving raw, heartfelt performances. That's exactly what Mass is. A perfect marriage of actors and director, Fran Kranz lays this film out perfectly and gets exceptional performances from his cast. All four leads bring something different to the table, but Jason Isaacs and Ann Dowd are sublime. They should definitely be remembered come awards season. This film will stick with you for a long time, as it's heart-wrenching and uncomfortable, but it's also one of the year's best. ADRIANO Though it's not the easiest movie to get through, Mass is an emotional gut-punch that makes watching it worthwhile. Thanks in large part to writer-director Fran Kranz's incredible script, the film's singular setting allows its exploration of grief amongst a sensitive subject to hit hard and never feel drawn out. Helping drive that exploration home are the four central actors (key among them, Ann Dowd) giving raw and devastating performances that are among the very best I've seen in a while. Mass hit me to my core and will stick with me for the foreseeable future. Bring tissues. JACOB Apart from one slightly jarring change of aspect ratio towards the middle, the authenticity of Mass is so absolute that one may forget its fictional nature. So nuanced is Fran Kranz's writing and so sensitive are the performances that the film holds one's attention more tightly than most recent thrillers. To write either side of the conversation at the film's center is difficult; to write both without slipping into melodrama or hyperbole is, frankly, a herculean accomplishment worthy of acclaim. All 110 minutes of Kranz's film arrive with weight and remain with meaning. This is certainly not one to miss. QUENTIN As an acting showcase, it doesn’t get much better than Mass . It’s a simple film that plays like a small stage play, featuring four actors in a tiny room having a conversation, but the conversation being had is anything but simple. It’s a hard and uncomfortable exploration of the heavy grief that gets buried under “thoughts and prayers” sentiments. It also provides an interesting perspective by giving equal time to the parents on both sides of a mass shooting. It’s not at all an easy watch, but it is a powerful one that is driven by stripped-down, yet award-worthy, performances.

IN A VIOLENT NATURE Starring: Ry Barrett Director: Chris Nash PAIGE In A Violent Nature is a lean, mean, killing-machine slasher that is akin to a dissection of a Friday the 13th film. While most horror flicks employ tension and shock value to create suspense, this slasher eliminates such elements in favor of a more minimalist and gruesome approach. It’s honestly like watching a wild animal hunt for its prey. Despite its simplicity and slow pacing, having the movie told primarily from the killer's point of view allows it to deliver a fresh perspective on the slasher genre. NICK I can see what director Chris Nash was going for with In A Violent Nature ; it just didn’t work for me. This slow moving, minimalist horror puts you into the shoes of the killer in an all too realistic portrayal. There’s no soundtrack, no score, and a lot of walking. All these aspects may have worked if not for the film’s inability to create any tension whatsoever, leaving the proceedings to just, sort of, go through the motions. Even with one of the gnarliest kills I’ve seen on film, Nature still adds up to a relatively boring film. KATIE Director Chris Nash manages to find originality in an incredibly oversaturated horror subgenre whilst honouring the tropes that characterise my favourite slasher films. In A Violent Nature takes a brutally realistic approach, with restrained pacing and a compelling art house touch. Whilst some may find the periods we spend with the protagonist patiently stalking his victims slowly-paced, these were my favourite parts of the film. With no non-diegetic sound, the film utilises ambient noise and natural lighting beautifully to draw all focus to the killer’s instinctual march towards his victims, creating a unique and distinctive viewing experience. PRESTON God-awful. There is little to redeem what now qualifies as the worst film I have seen this year. In A Violent Nature can surely only appeal to the truly, most dedicated, B-horror slasher aficionados and the most forgiving of movie nerds. There is some uniqueness in its approach, especially with a couple long single-shot takes, but most of this means enduring about eight true miles of the back of the killer’s head on his excruciatingly slow walk-about. There is no redeeming score to build any kind of tension, the acting is atrocious, and the dialogue is laughable. No, spank-you!

Y2K Starring: Jaeden Martell, Julian Dennison, Rachel Zegler, and Alicia Silverstone Director: Kyle Mooney ADRIANO As a fan of writer/director Kyle Mooney's humour and his first film, Brigsby Bear , I am sad to say that his second directorial outing, Y2K , is a disaster. It starts simple enough, and it got some chuckles, even some laughs, out of me because of its absurdism; however, a lot of the direction and pacing are awkward. Plus, in the second half of the movie, many of the character beats set up are abandoned and, despite a genuinely funny cameo, the chuckles disappear as the film becomes totally incoherent. I don't think even the "it's just fun" crowd can defend Y2K . PAIGE Y2K is one of those turn-your-brain-off movies, and even though it's incredibly foolish, it's a ridiculously fun time. While the movie sacrifices some of its storyline for punchlines, it delivers the laughs it wants to achieve. Meanwhile, the soundtrack is awesome, the kills are inventive, and the ensemble is good. For someone who grew up in the 1990s, Y2K does a great job of capturing the nostalgia from that era, whether it be through chatting on AIM, burning CDs, or carrying pagers. This absurd movie is for you if you enjoy director Kyle Mooney's sense of humor.

FLOW Director: Gints Zilbalodis QUENTIN I surely didn’t expect the best film out of Cannes to be a dialogue-free animated movie about a cat and other animals fighting for survival during a flood, yet here we are. With beautiful animation and surprisingly deep characterizations that should embarrass lots of other movies (again, zero dialogue), Flow is a tense, spellbinding, and emotional treatise on the importance of working together. It’s equal parts cute and poignant, appealing to both children and adults alike, especially those who played Stray or enjoy cat videos on YouTube. It’s already one of my favorite animated movies of all time. NICK Flow has a lot to say without uttering a single word. This wonderfully animated film follows the journey of Cat and other wildlife as they navigate their way through the flooding of their home. Although there are no human characters, the themes of class, family, and isolation are all prevalent, which leaves a lot of aspects to relate to. Even if you take away that depth, you’re still left with a very cute film about animals (with tons of personality) coming together in the face of disaster. Just like the best animated films, this one is bound to appeal to children and adults alike. ADRIANO Flow is simply adorable, but I kinda wanted a little more. The animation is cute, with some beautifully grand visuals occasionally, and its concept is simple enough, featuring a band of animals trying to survive a flood. Plus, at just under 90 minutes, it never overstays its welcome and I did thankfully find myself constantly drawn towards the increasing action of the plot. However, the climate change themes are overshadowed by the "friends along the way" narrative. That all said, with no dialogue at all, Flow wound up being a very endearing watch. AMARÚ With our inherent obsession with cute animal videos, what is not to love about the one-of-a-kind experience that is Flow ? While it is adorable watching a cat navigate the world’s perils, this masterfully animated feature is so much more than a social media distraction. It’s an absolutely stunning journey that uses themes of empathy, compassion, found family, and the kindness of others to explore the beautifully unforgiving power of nature and the powerfully beautiful resilience of community. Using profound aesthetics from both the natural and mystical world, Flow is sorrowful, heartwarming, magical, and endearing, and it won’t be leaving my thoughts for a long while. This film was reviewed by Quentin, Nick, and Adriano as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2024 Cannes Film Festival and 2024 Toronto International Film Festival, respectively.