Starring: Jeremy Jordan, Michelle Monaghan, Peyton List, Lyndsy Fonseca, Caylee Cowan, James Wolk, Dan Fogler, Jason Isaacs, Jay Pharoah, and Chris Redd
Director: Timothy Scott Bogart
If not for the soundtrack, Spinning Gold would have absolutely nothing going for it. It’s terribly directed, dreadfully acted, poorly written, and feels cheaply made. There are awful costumes and even worse green screen scenes. For reference, the lead actor’s last three movies were Hallmark Originals, and the writer-director, who happens to be the son of the main character, hasn’t written or directed a movie since a 2005, straight-to-streaming rom-com that is so obscure it doesn’t have a Wikipedia page or a Rotten Tomatoes score. This is the level of talent involved, and it makes for a painful watch; extra half reel for the music, though.
The first rule of filmmaking is “show, don’t tell,” but if someone’s first movie experience was the dreadful Spinning Gold, they’d learn the opposite lesson. Without a doubt, this is easily one of the worst music biopics I’ve ever had the displeasure of viewing. Even after the second half finally debuts two actually coherent scenes, it can’t stop being so far up its own ass about how important it all is…and it never. stops. telling. you that. Nearly every role is irreversibly miscast, the dialogue is cringe levels of high school stage theater, and not one performance (or wig job) succeeds.