LUMINA
Starring: Eric Roberts, Emily Hall, Andrea Tivadar, Gino McKoy, Sidney Nicole Rogers, Eleanor Williams, and Ken Lawson
Director: Gino McKoy
KATIE
Maybe I didn't understand Lumina, but I was constantly shocked and, at times, impressed by the lack of character development or reasoning for anything that happens. I did not understand the relationships between any of the characters, who are of little consequence and seem to materialise out of nowhere only to disappear just as quickly, and we’re given no insight into their ridiculous motivations. Plus, the excruciatingly shoddy and cheap-looking CGI is about as convincing as the awful performances. Nonetheless, some of the line deliveries and bad CGI are entertaining in their own way, resulting in something so disastrous I nearly had a good time.
QUENTIN
In 2015, I bought a car for $500. The paint was flaky and faded, the saggy cloth seats had cigarette burns, and when you cranked the AC, the headlights dimmed noticeably. It was an embarrassing and creaky shitbox, but it was, technically, an automobile. After months of “fuck this car,” I donated it for the tax write-off. Where am I going with this? That car was a 2000 Chevy Lumina. Gino McKoy’s sci-fi horror Lumina evokes that car’s memory. Is it technically a movie? Yes. Is it an embarrassing, “fuck-this-movie” shitbox that should have been shelved for the tax write-off? Also yes.
