IF I HAD LEGS I'D KICK YOU
Starring: Rose Byrne, A$AP Rocky, Conan O’Brien, Mary Bronstein, Danielle Macdonald, and Christian Slater
Director: Mary Bronstein
ADRIANO
If I Had Legs I'd Kick You is likely to be a very alienating film for many people, but I can't stress enough how worth it this experience is, if not just for the tour-de-force performance from Rose Byrne. She guides this stressful, at times excruciating (by design) exercise in maternal frustration, as we follow Byrne's character through some of the most aggravating series of events, told with expert tension and visual splendour by director/writer Mary Bronstein. I have mixed feelings about how it wraps up, but the way Byrne guides this difficult experience is a sight to behold.
NICK
Even as a childless man, I found If I Had Legs I'd Kick You quite emotionally exhausting; I can only imagine how this film would make a mother feel. Director Mary Bronstein has created an immersive character study that suffocates you as you watch it. Her direction is deliberate, creative, and unafraid to take risks. If that wasn't good enough, it's all anchored by a tremendous performance from Rose Byrne. She has never been better as the overwhelmed, beaten down, and frankly, defeated Linda. It may be heavy, and not always the easiest watch, but Bronstein just jumped onto the scene in a big way.
BODE
If, like me, you watched Nightbitch and thought it neutered its portrayal of the difficulties of motherhood, you might get a kick out of If I Had Legs I’d Kick You. Writer-director Mary Bronstein fearlessly comes at the same themes with disorienting cinematography, overwhelming sound design, and jarring editing – all of which accentuate its nightmarish surrealism and dark humour. And Rose Byrne immerses herself in the exhaustion of the film’s protagonist, delivering a career-defining performance in the process. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart, but if you’re willing, you’ll witness something major.
This film was reviewed by Adriano as part of Bitesize Breakdown's coverage of the 2025 Toronto International Film Festival.