8. EVERY HEAVY THING

Every Heavy Thing is terrible. From the low-budget aesthetics to the abysmal performances, it’s an 89-minute endurance test. Even if one wanted to forgive its indie trappings, which is valid, director Mickey Reece’s insistence on adding weird, Max Headroom-ish fever-dream interludes make for an epileptic fit waiting to happen. Admittedly, there is some Lynchian surrealness, which isn’t my thing, but I can usually recognize the merits of such films even though they aren’t for me. I have nothing positive to say here. Late in the movie, one character says, “…the shit that passes for art in this town.” Preach.

7. SHELBY OAKS

There was some hype amongst my cohorts surrounding Shelby Oaks because it’s the feature directorial debut of popular YouTuber Chris Stuckmann. To be perfectly honest, I had never heard of Stuckmann, but after watching, I fully believe this was directed by a YouTuber and bankrolled by Kickstarter. The narrative is unremarkably fine for something that wears its influences so blatantly on its sleeve, but something about the direction and performances just exudes homemade YouTube sensibilities. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but for someone who doesn’t enjoy original YouTube content because of its inferior quality, it was jarringly noticeable. Maybe I’m just of the wrong generation for this movie.

6. DOLLY

While I appreciate the homage to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, both in general story and 70s aesthetic, Dolly ultimately falters because there is little in the way of character development. There is plenty of violence and blood, including one especially gnarly kill, but the story is nothing more than a paper-thin final girl trying to survive a murderous psychopath. That’s not to say there isn’t some fun to be had, but the unrelenting moments of gore, modest thrills, and doll-driven creep factor can’t make up for the complete lack of actual plot.

This review originally posted with Bitesize Breakdown’s coverage of the Fantastic Fest 2025.

5. CRAZY OLD LADY

Everything about Crazy Old Lady, from its title to the premise, is basic. Not “basic” in the way Kristen Bell’s character in The Good Place uses it (Ya basic!), just... simple. I mean, it’s called Crazy Old Lady. What’s it about? It’s about a crazy old lady, lost in dementia, violently hurting those around her. Nothing more, nothing less. And it’s mostly fine while featuring some genuinely unsettling moments. That said, its overall basicness can’t sustain even the modest 94-minute runtime before feeling too repetitive. It’s decent enough, but it would have worked better as a 45-minute episode in an anthology series like Tales from the Crypt.

4. DECORADO

Despite vibrant animation that recalls old-school Disney and Looney Tunes, Decorado is a grim and depressing exploration of the meaning of life in a capitalist world. Sure, the points made may be apt, perhaps even relatable to some, but it’s uncomfortable to watch in the same way that movies like Marriage Story are uncomfortable — and, dare I say, not enjoyable — to watch even when they are, admittedly, competently and effectively made. Who wants to sit with such an in-your-face, pessimistic view of the world? Not me, and definitely not while at the cinema. So…high marks for the artistry, but low marks for the entertainment value.

3. THE HOLY BOY

As the old saying goes, “there is no joy without pain.” The religion-tinged Italian horror flick The Holy Boy attempts to explore that idea but somewhat loses itself along the way by throwing too many ideas at the screen. On top of that central theme, there are questions about repressed sexual identity, self-agency, appeasing the masses, and cultism. That’s not to say it doesn’t work, just that it gets a little messy. Thankfully, the sleepy mysteries and melancholic atmosphere engage the viewer well enough to keep the narrative momentum moving forward even when a subplot goes astray, making for a serviceable, if not exactly noteworthy, experience.

2. DUST BUNNY

Stylish as it may be, featuring a production design that blends the fantastical sensibilities of Tim Burton with Wes Anderson’s whimsy, director Bryan Fuller is seemingly confused about who Dust Bunny is for. Although R-rated, it’s as safe for pre-teens as the PG-rated Gremlins and Ghostbusters, which means those coming for the hardened scares and violence advertised will walk away disappointed given how tame and cutesy it all is. The slow, virtually dialogue-free first act and extremely shoddy special effects won’t help win those people over, either. That said, if allowed to see it, younger audiences and fans of Goosebumps will eat this thing up.

1. MY DAUGHTER IS A ZOMBIE

Korea’s highest grossing original film of 2025, My Daughter is a Zombie is an unmitigated delight. Don’t let the “zombie” of it fool you, either, as this has more in common with heartfelt family movies like E.T. and Free Willy than anything resembling The Walking Dead. That includes the piano-driven, 80s-inspired, sitcom score. The performances are terrific, none more so than Choi Yu-ri (the titular daughter) and Lee Jung-eun (her boozy grandmother), which makes investing in both the Korean silliness and surprisingly deep sentimentality easy to do. These types of movies are rarely my thing as I get older, but I can’t deny the overwhelming charm of this one.